Laura Cremaschi in A Bikini

By Lex August 13, 2015 @ 10:46 AM

Laura Cremaschi Tiny Green Bikini In Miami

When Trump says rapists and unlicensed ice cream truck vendors are pouring illegally across the border I hope he’s not lumping in the loose foreign models streaming into Miami to show off their tits and vaginas. Even the most ardent ICE enforcer has to understand the need for categories when it comes to who is and isn’t allowed in this country. If you were a big draw at the Berlusconi sex parties, stamp that visa. You don’t need to burrow beneath the wall. Threaten me with the price of lettuce going up. I’m not backing down. More amateur sex workers please.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Laura Cremaschi in a One Piece Thong

By Lex January 08, 2015 @ 1:13 PM

Laura Cremaschi Wears A One Piece Thong Suit To The Beach In Miami
Skinny party girls from Italy just seems like something I should be into more. I don’t do well with the nuances of relationships with women who believe in love. It’s far too ethereal. Girls who work Italian rich guys’ private functions seem like they’d never say confusing things like needing to feel important, longing to be understood, or wanting to let back inside the apartment because it’s cold outside. Where do they come up with this stuff. The ability to quickly translate lira into euros into dollars and the number for Pink Dot embedded somewhere in her tramp stamp is my cat’s meow. I should probably get a fake passport.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Laura Cremaschi Bikini Changes At The Beach

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 9:28 AM

Laura Cremaschi Changes Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
Immigration doesn’t seem like such a head scratching social issue when viewed through the lens of Laura Cremaschi’s mons pubis. Cremaschi is a political asylum candidate in the U.S. ever since she got caught hostessing the Italian Prime Minister’s teen bacchanalias. If you consider that for every one of these Cremaschis, we get thirty thousand Central American pre-teens who can de-tick a burro and patch holes in burlap, that seems like a solid plan. Good job, Washington. You may now take a three month vacation.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

It’s World Cup Sexy Soccer Cliche Time

By Lex June 03, 2014 @ 12:28 PM

Laura Cremaschi In Bikini Bottoms At The Beach In Miami
I have vowed to punch each and every much smaller than me person who announces this month that soccer is the world’s most popular sport. Human papillomavirus is the world’s most popular STD. Go ask Michael Douglas’ throat cancer how awesome it was jumping on that popularity bandwagon. I don’t care how many foreign self-described models slip into something soccer sexy, I’m not watching any sport where teams intentionally pass the ball backwards. That’s a retreat mentality that just won’t thrive in a nation built on advance and dominate. If I wanted to be France or Paraguay, I’d buy a neat hat and shave my nuts and move to one of those places to watch soccer and talk about how to be a better world citizen. Sharing is for losers. Fuck you, Barney and your socialist soccer agenda.

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi In A Blue Bikini

By Lex May 09, 2014 @ 4:50 PM

I’m looking at Laura Cremaschi and I don’t see Italian Prime Minister underaged sex party scandal, I just see a beautiful human being with

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi In A Thong Bikini

By Lex May 06, 2014 @ 5:22 PM

Laura Cremaschi In A Thong Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I don’t know who invented Pilates but I’d like to give them a great big bear hug. I don’t even know what Pilates is, something to do with rubber bands and converted Tony Little Gazelle machines. I just know it’s turned an entire generation of girls asses into perfectly round evocations of the archetypal signal for reproduction. I’d like to think the girls are getting something out of it too, but that’s really secondary to the ability for an half-decent looking model or pretend actress to give a man a hard-on from three football fields away, depending on prevailing weather conditions. It used to be that girls had to rely on privilege of genetics and maybe a little exercise for a nice can. Now, a wide swath of the female gender can build themselves a brilliant ass. Not the gargantuan planet eater like the Kardashians, I mean a solid round little rump that music videos used to have to cast for days upon days to find. Thank you, Pilates. You’re probably some kind of Trilateral Commission conspiracy, but you’re doing God’s work.

Photo Credit: Splash