Laura Cremaschi Bikini Changes At The Beach

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 9:28 AM

Laura Cremaschi Changes Bikinis At The Beach In Miami
Immigration doesn’t seem like such a head scratching social issue when viewed through the lens of Laura Cremaschi’s mons pubis. Cremaschi is a political asylum candidate in the U.S. ever since she got caught hostessing the Italian Prime Minister’s teen bacchanalias. If you consider that for every one of these Cremaschis, we get thirty thousand Central American pre-teens who can de-tick a burro and patch holes in burlap, that seems like a solid plan. Good job, Washington. You may now take a three month vacation.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

It’s World Cup Sexy Soccer Cliche Time

By Lex June 03, 2014 @ 12:28 PM

Laura Cremaschi In Bikini Bottoms At The Beach In Miami
I have vowed to punch each and every much smaller than me person who announces this month that soccer is the world’s most popular sport. Human papillomavirus is the world’s most popular STD. Go ask Michael Douglas’ throat cancer how awesome it was jumping on that popularity bandwagon. I don’t care how many foreign self-described models slip into something soccer sexy, I’m not watching any sport where teams intentionally pass the ball backwards. That’s a retreat mentality that just won’t thrive in a nation built on advance and dominate. If I wanted to be France or Paraguay, I’d buy a neat hat and shave my nuts and move to one of those places to watch soccer and talk about how to be a better world citizen. Sharing is for losers. Fuck you, Barney and your socialist soccer agenda.

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi In A Blue Bikini

By Lex May 09, 2014 @ 4:50 PM

Laura-Cremaschi-In-A-Blue-Bikini-At-The-Beach-In-Miami-lb
I’m looking at Laura Cremaschi and I don’t see Italian Prime Minister underaged sex party scandal, I just see a beautiful human being with

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi In A Thong Bikini

By Lex May 06, 2014 @ 5:22 PM

Laura Cremaschi In A Thong Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I don’t know who invented Pilates but I’d like to give them a great big bear hug. I don’t even know what Pilates is, something to do with rubber bands and converted Tony Little Gazelle machines. I just know it’s turned an entire generation of girls asses into perfectly round evocations of the archetypal signal for reproduction. I’d like to think the girls are getting something out of it too, but that’s really secondary to the ability for an half-decent looking model or pretend actress to give a man a hard-on from three football fields away, depending on prevailing weather conditions. It used to be that girls had to rely on privilege of genetics and maybe a little exercise for a nice can. Now, a wide swath of the female gender can build themselves a brilliant ass. Not the gargantuan planet eater like the Kardashians, I mean a solid round little rump that music videos used to have to cast for days upon days to find. Thank you, Pilates. You’re probably some kind of Trilateral Commission conspiracy, but you’re doing God’s work.

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi in A Bikini

By Lex April 30, 2014 @ 6:31 PM

Laura Cremaschi Plays With A Water Toy In A Bikini At The Beach In Miami
I’d advise against women in the public eye holding phallic shaped toys and objects. Some schmuck like me is going to make a cock joke and you’re going to realize the Miami Beach pool noodle wasn’t really going to save you from Jaws or Vibrio vulnificus or the Cuban refugees swimming ashore. You’ve got an incredibly nice ass. You don’t need the props.

Photo Credit: Splash

Laura Cremaschi In A Wet T Shirt In Miami

By Lex January 23, 2014 @ 7:11 PM

Laura Cremaschi In A Wet T Shirt At The Beach In Miami
I think Italian catwoman has solved the dilemma of what to wear at the beach when you want to look like one of those fake college chicks who win all the wet t-shirt contests during Spring Break. They always says Lauderdale Community College, but I suspect they’re not really the part-time applied arts students they claim to be. Nobody could carry that course load and still have time to get their tits weight six times a week during the high season.

Photo Credit: Splash