07.24.2008 hahaha, you suck lauren conrad

If you don’t know who Christiano Ronaldo is, just imagine a Portuguese version of David Beckham. But not Beckham now, Beckham 10 years ago, when he was the most famous person in the world and still single. Needless to say a guy like that is gonna nail tons of hot ass, and he doesn’t have time for idiot nobody's like Lauren Conrad. The Daily Mail says…

Lauren, 22, who stars on MTV's popular reality TV show The Hills, was devastated when the Manchester United player refused to pose with her for a picture.
The brush-off happened in the early hours of Thursday morning at trendy LA hotspot Kress, sources tell MailOnline exclusively.
A fellow party-goer revealed: 'Cristiano was in with his friends, enjoying the music and chilling out in the corner of the club.
'Lauren approached him and asked for a picture of them to be taken. But he just blew her off and refused.
'Cristiano turned to his friend and said in his heavy Portugese accent: 'Who is this woman?'
'Lauren was mortified. She told her friends she couldn't believe he'd talk to her like that. Worse still, she couldn't believe he didn't know who she is.
'She walked away in a really bad mood.'

This is awesome. The only way this could have been better is if instead of walking away he sealed her in an aluminum trash can and threw a bunch of bottle rockets in there. Other than that, he kicked her ass quite nicely. Kudos to you, sir.

Tags: christiano ronaldo, lauren conrad |

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04.19.2007 there is a sex tape. and its boring.

“The Hills” star Lauren Conrad has vehemently denied that she ever made a sex tape with ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler, but now a company has confirmed its existence by rescinding the offer they once made to buy it. SugarDVD told TMZ that they have seen the tape and they are no longer interested in distributing it because its boring and because they think Jason Wahler (who has been arrested four times in the last nine months) is a jackass. Sugar says:

"We refuse to support any person who feels that it is in any way acceptable to rattle off racial slurs and slanderous language about African-American people, homosexual people and the police department."

As far as the actual sex, the tape has been called "very vanilla" with "no hard core sex." A source says the two are basically just "messing around." So, technically Lauren was right when she said there was no sex tape. And technically I was right to enter that Hot Buns contest. I hope this wont sound like I’m bragging, but I’m fuckin hot.