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Lauren Stoner Birthday Ass

I find it comforting there's a small corner of the world where guys sneak up on women with their cameras and snap pictures of their privates and the women thank them and ask when they'll be published. None of this subtle nuance of anxious correctness and changing Northeastern feminist directives. Just a polite request to wait a second, let me flex my ass, is my mons lit well? It's the difference between synergy and...read more

Lauren Stoner in a Bikini

If I black out Michael Bay humping her while gloating about fucking over the Turtles origin story, I really do like this chick. She reminds me of every girl who ever told me to bugger off through a set of big teeth. It's like receiving a directive from Smaug. You comply. Then tell your buddies Smaug was a lesbian. Photo Credit: Splashread more

Lauren Stoner In A White Bikini

Overbites on girls kind of kill me. There's something very arousing about a woman with a set of grinders like her parents just didn't have orthodontic insurance. Some women have turned their non-traditional grills into iconic model smiles, but most do just end up being labeled crack whores the minute they get fucked up at a party and pass out in the high back chair. Lauren Stoner used to bang Michael Bay, so she's...read more

Lauren Stoner In A Bikini

It's unfortunate that anybody should have the moniker of Michael Bay's ex-girlfriend. When you bone somebody several factors more famous, this becomes your label. If you're a woman, that sticks for a long time. It's purely sexist. I want to search the depths of the earth for the fairness rock that will make the world's inequities disappear. Right after I'm done staring at Michael Bay's ex-girlfriend's ass. Photo...read more

Lauren Stoner In A Green Bikini At Miami Beach

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast Newsread more

Lauren Stoner In A Bikini

Luxury licensed brand hat. Check. Super reflective fighter pilot sunglasses. Check. Big fake tubes oiled to a fare-thee-well. Check. Called the boyfriend on the not his home phone that his not wife might pick up and told him you were looking forward to tonight. Check. You are super good to go for another part-time model beach day. Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, FameFlynetread more

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Lauren Stoner Heroically Went To The Beach

A lot of people go to the beach each day in America, but not everyone is a somewhat attractive female with a great body willing to frolic in front of photographers in her bikini like Lauren Stoner did the other day in Miami. Sure, you could argue that Lauren hasn't done anything worthy of attention since she was on that E! series that nobody remembers, but you have to admire her bravery for standing in one place at...read more

Lauren Stoner Bikini Pictures Keep Rolling

Last week I had no idea what Lauren Stoner did. Thanks to a barrage (three) emails from her fans, it turns out Lauren was a very valuable cast member of The Spin Crowd, the short-lived Kim Kardashian produced reality show about girls working in a P.R. agency. The show was so stupid that even stupid people who watch stupid shows called it stupid and refused to watch. None of which should take away from Lauren Stoner's...read more

Lauren Stoner Bikini Model Actress Person

Lauren Stoner is like so many sort of well known models who live and hang out in Miami -- I have no fucking clue who she is. She was recently the arm candy for Michael Bay while he was shooting Pain & Gain down in Florida. Edging with Mark Wahlberg in his trailer to old Funky Bunch music videos gets old after a while and you need yourself a lady. She does have an extremely nice bikini body. I suppose that's her...read more

screw you Michael Bay

I had a ten minute conversation with Michael Bay one time when I was bartending in Santa Monica, and he was nothing but nice even though he was Michael Bay and I was just some smart ass bartender, but Lauren Stoner, who is rumored to be his girlfriend, was on Miami beach yesterday and her ass is fantastic so fuck him. I'm all for people banging girls with hot asses, but only when I'm the one doing it. (image source =...read more