Bryan Singer’s Mutant Power Better Be Having A Great Lawyer

By Travis April 17, 2014 @ 9:00 AM

Suddenly, Corey Feldman isn’t alone in his bizarre quest to prove that Hollywood is full of power-hungry pedophiles. A 31-year old man named Michael Egan is suing X-Men director Bryan Singer for $300,000 over “catastrophic psychological and emotional injuries” that he claims he suffered at his very groping hands. Specifically, Michael claims that he met Bryan at one of registered sex offender Marc Collins-Rector’s parties, and the director allegedly took a liking to the young man, who was 14 or 15 at the time. Bryan allegedly promised Michael a role in a movie, before he allegedly ruined his fucking life, according to the Daily Mail.

According to the lawsuit, Singer told Egan he was ‘sexy’ and went on to masturbate the underage boy and perform oral sex on him. The director then told Egan to do the same to him, but the then-minor says he resisted.

That allegedly caused Singer to push the boy’s head under water. When he finally got up for air, Singer again demanded he perform oral sex and when he refused for the second time, Singer took him out of the pool and forcibly sodomized him, Egan says.

Romance has changed so much since I was young. At least back then, a kid would get a nice lobster dinner before the powerful famous guy would rape him at a wealthy person’s house. It’s like nobody even cares about the little things anymore.

Photo Credit: Getty

A Woman Got Herpes From Rihanna’s Lipstick

By Travis May 31, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

A 28-year old woman from Harlem is reportedly suing MAC Cosmetics because she claims that she contracted herpes from using a sample tube of RiRi Woo lipstick at Rihanna’s show at the Barclays Center in New York City earlier this month. Because Rihanna endorses the lipstick, promotional booths were set up for her fans at the shows, and Starkeema Greenridge claims that the rep working the booth that she visited knowingly gave her a tube of lipstick that had already been used and that’s how she got herpes.

Greenridge is suing MAC for an unspecified amount for “mental anguish and emotional distress”, according to the New York Daily News, as she claims she couldn’t work for two weeks because of the oral disease. And she’ll probably win her lawsuit and then blow all of the money on something stupid, because she’s the kind of person who buys lipstick from a booth at a concert.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

The Kardashians Are Probably Going To Sue Ford Now

By Travis March 26, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Over the weekend, Ford officials responded to a really stupid decision by an advertising agency in India to give the Kardashian sisters a little dab of rape culture by basically admitting that the automobile manufacturer doesn’t review its ads before they hit the streets. JWT India’s recent posters for the Ford Figo showed Kim, Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian bound and gagged in the back of Paris Hilton’s car, as if the irrelevant former reality star would be seen driving a tiny car or could handle Khloe’s retard strength by herself.

Needless to say, Kris Jenner and the Kim Kardashian Moneymaking Experience weren’t going to just let this one fly by, so they released their own response, and it’s as litigious as you’d expect from a family that sold a fake wedding to E! for $17 million.

“The ‘leave your worries behind’ Ford ads are disgusting, vile and offensive to all women,” a Kardashian attorney told “omg! Insider.” “It is unacceptable that Ford would align itself with an ad agency that would so carelessly release these ads. The Kardashians do not take this lightly and they are exploring all of their legal options.” (Yahoo!)

If anyone knows what is disgusting, vile and offensive to all women, it’s the women who became famous because one of them made an amateur porn movie that was basically directed by her own mom. And it’s the women who challenge each other to pussy-smelling contests by rubbing napkins on their vaginas. And it’s the women who… just go ahead and insert anything else they’ve ever done here, because it’s all equally horrible.

(Photo Credits: Getty)

Hulk Hogan filed a $100M lawsuit over his sex tape

By brendon October 16, 2012 @ 1:16 PM

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While standing in his finest black t-shirt and most solemn bandana skull cap, Hulk Hogan announced a $100,000,000 lawsuit over his leaked sex tape today, suing both Gawker Media, who released edited portions of the tape, and Bubba the Love Sponge, his former “best friend” whom he claims gave the tape to Gawker.

Hulk Hogan filed two lawsuits Monday over the infamous sex tape featuring his bedroom romp with his best friend’s ex-wife — even as the best friend denies any involvement in releasing the tape.
?(Hogans attorney) said the two suits would argue one basic concept — invasion of privacy.?

Well he’s off to a bad start because he can’t prove (yet) who leaked the tape and Gawker is incorporated under a shell company in the Cayman Islands so good luck suing them, but on the plus side, his attorney is scaring the shit out of me right now. It’s like someone tried to kill an evil ventriloquist dummy by burning it but all the fire did was make it come to life. If I were on a jury my pants would be soaked in urine. I’ll do whatever you say just please don’t kill me.

(source = ny daily news, image source = getty)

heres the first POS suing over the Dark Knight Rises shooting

By brendon July 24, 2012 @ 11:31 AM

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71 people were shot when James Holmes opened fire during the midnight premiere of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ on Friday, but Torrence Brown, Jr. wasn’t one of them. He was there (he works in the movie theater and a friend of his was killed) but he wasn’t injured in any way.

Nonetheless he’s the first to hire an attorney and announce a sweeping lawsuit because money. First he’ll sue the movie theater, because he thinks emergency exit doors should have magic charms on them like in ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’ so only the penitent man shall pass.

Then he’ll sue:

Holmes’ doctors.  (Browns attorney) says it appears Holmes was on several medications — prescribed by one or more doctors –  at the time of the shooting and he believes the docs did not properly monitor Holmes.

Was James Holmes on some sort of “medication”? Perhaps! Did the doctors monitor him correctly? I have no idea, but let’s sue them anyway and look into that later. I don’t have all day, ya know.

(Brown will also sue) Warner Bros. (claiming) “Dark Knight Rises” was particularly violent and Holmes mimicked some of the action. 

Keep in mind that Holmes hadn’t even seen ‘Dark Knight Rises’. He was at the premiere. But according to the attorney, he watched 20 minutes of it, went home, dyed his hair like a character from a different movie, built a time machine to go buy 4 guns and wire his apartment with explosives, then came back to our time and shot up the theater. He invented time travel, we can’t arrest him now, he’s the future of humanity.

A second male masseuse is now suing John Travolta

By brendon May 08, 2012 @ 5:12 PM

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John Travolta was trolling male masseuses for easy gay sex, but everything fell apart because he was so creepy about it, and I’m not talking about the sexual battery lawsuit filed yesterday, or the new one filed today, but an email I posted in 2006 saying Travolta was doing the exact same stuff back then while filming ‘Hairspray’ in Toronto.

While in town, he went to the Mayfair Raquet and Fitness Centre to get some massage therapy and he specifically requested male therapists. The RMT he ended up with is a fairly flamboyant gay man. After his first treatment he promptly rebooked weekly appointments with the same therapist.
Here’s where it gets better. Last week the club asked him to no longer come back due to “too much gay behaviour in the locker rooms” as he was making other members very uncomfortable.

And I know I’ve said this before but I used to work at the Ritz-Carlton in Marina del Rey, and Travolta personally invited me to his room on several occasions. He did the same with our doorman. So when his lawyer says these events are “a complete fiction and fabrication” and that “None of the events claimed … ever occurred”, it is laugh out loud funny, because these events have occurred dozens of times, for years, all over the place. It’s offensive to me. Because Travolta offered those guys money. What do I look like, some cheap slut?