Hot Female Hunter Captures NBA G.O.A.T.

November 13, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Lebron James is a basketball player, father, and married man in that order. When your career allows you to afford child support married men can commit to diving into DMs like a pirate looking for lost doubloons. 


LeBron James Grows A Pair

February 1, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Someone should inform LeBron James that what he’s doing isn’t all that serious or important. There’s a lot of money involved, but stop acting like you’re on House of Cards.


LeBron James Takes Safety Pin Challenge

December 16, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

LeBron James is wearing a safety pin on his lapel on the cover of Sports Illustrated, where he was just named the gender neutral Sportsperson of the Year. The safety pin is meant to show solidarity with those who feel disenfranchised by Trump winning the election. While they may have some legitimate cause for concern, the safety pin is a total poser move and stupid idea.


LeBron’s Posse Hurts

November 17, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Phil Jackson is an overpaid crotchety pretentious fuck who is almost certainly a dick to the waitress. He thinks he’s really smart because he coached the best teams of all time. Roll out the ball and ramble about yoga.


King James DMs PAWG

April 13, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Lebron James sent a direct message to meaty-assed Instagrammer Rachel Bush. Bush promptly posted a screenshot of the message because that’s standard operating procedure for girls who have selected the exciting career field of posting pictures of themselves in thongs to the Internet LeBron is married and Bush is dating the safety for the Cleveland […]


LeBron James Ten Year Old College Bound

February 26, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

LeBron James ten year old son, LeBron James Jr, has already been recruited by multiple colleges according to James who expressed his irritation and then dangled a carrot in front of anyone potentially interested: “It’s pretty crazy. It should be a violation. You shouldn’t be recruiting 10-year-old kids… He plays just like I did.” Stop […]


LeBron James Taking The NBA Down With Him

February 17, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

LeBron James and Kevin Hart hosted the NBA All-Star All-Style Fashion Show over All Star Weekend, where players competed for an award for being Best Dressed. This was widely considered an embarrassment to the NBA and the male race as well by everyone except those involved including those of us within ear shot, or close to a […]


LeBron James Delusional

October 31, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

LeBron James is utterly mistaken about how important he is and thinks his first game back in Cleveland will be remembered throughout history somewhere between the Immaculate Reception and the fall of the Berlin Wall. That fell, right? “For me, none of us should take this moment for granted. This is probably one of the […]


LeBron Returns to Cleveland; Cleveland Lays Out Like a Doormat

July 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In Northeast Ohio, nothing is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home. That’s how LeBron called upon his inner Tom Wolfe to announce his decision to return to Cleveland. It had nothing to do really with anything he wrote previously in his talking […]


LeBron James Marries His Baby Mama

September 17, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

LeBron James got married over the weekend. If you believe media accounts, it was romantic as fuck. Beautiful hotel, Beyonce flew in from wherever Beyonce flies in from to sing with Jay-Z at the reception. LeBron married Savannah Brinson, the girl he started banging without protection in high school and made two babies with then […]