afternoon headlines

By brendon October 15, 2009 @ 7:09 PM


HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN – Over 2000 people, people with no connection to each other, from different parts of the world, all claim to have seen this man in their dreams. I would have posted this sooner, but I was hiding under my desk in a puddle of urine and jabbing espresso into my heart. (

LINDSAY LOHAN – has to appear in court tomorrow because she’s apparently failing the alcohol education course she is ordered to attend as part of her probation. I could barely catch my breath when I heard the news, on account of being so surprised. (tmz)

LEONA LEWIS – was punched in the face yesterday, and today the 29yo man who did it has been charged with assault and placed in a mental-health ward. Hopefully one with pretty dresses, because Leona walked away from the incident. He couldn’t even punch out an unsuspecting woman. I would jam a bottle in my ass and break it off right now if I were him, because he’s gonna get annihilated once he gets to prison. (people)

JOHN AND KATE PLUS 8 – will go off the air in November because Jon Gosselin threw a hissy fit last month after TLC decided to film the show without him. This guy is a PR genius. He get’s more likable every day. (radar)

KATIE PRICE – If there’s something better than big tits, I am not aware of it. (hq jump. source = fame and inf daily)

leona lewis got punched in the face

By brendon October 14, 2009 @ 3:09 PM

Leona Lewis Attending Her Book "Dreams" Launch In London (USA AN

Leona Lewis was signing copies of her new book’ Dreams’ in London today, and hopefully one of her dreams was to have a random stranger punch her in the face, because thats what happened. The Sun says…

The thug – said to be in his late 20s or early 30s – queued up for a signed copy of the singer’s new book, Dreams, and then attacked her in front of 200 stunned onlookers.
Pretty Leona reeled back in shock clutching her face as her five burly bouncers dived on the attacker while cops rushed to the scene.
A pal of the star said: “The man queued up patiently, then as soon as she signed his book he smashed her in the face.
“He didn’t say anything to her and she is at a loss as to why anyone would do such an evil thing.”

A suspect has now been arrested, so hopefully we can at least get some kind of explanation for why he did this. When she signs her name, her L’s look like J’s. Maybe he’s like an English teacher or something. I bet poor penmanship get’s to be really frustrating.

They should put stuff lower

By brendon June 02, 2009 @ 6:54 AM


Leona Lewis left LAX a few hours ago, on her way back home to London after a stop in LA to work on her, uh … career.  In the field of. As a … art.  Tist.  And as we all know, she’s one of the best!  It’s why she really is a huge deal in the UK.  More to the point – tits!  My God those things are terrific.  Might be one of the reasons she’s such a popular … s-sing, singer?

(image source = splash. full size jump = here)