Liberty Ross’s divorce from director Rupert Sanders is finally complete, according to TMZ, and the model/actress has once again proven to the world that if a wealthy man is stupid enough to cheat in open daylight, he deserves to have his bank account torn to pieces. The divorce stemmed from Rupert’s affair with Kristen Stewart on the set of Snow White and the Huntsman, which Liberty also acted in, and because he couldn’t find a better place than the back seat of a car to fuck the most boring girl in Hollywood, Liberty is said to have made off with more than half of his assets. Meanwhile, when asked about the divorce, Kristen probably just brushed her hair to one side and bit her lip while looking at the ground, and then someone labeled her the most daring and compelling talent of her generation, because we’re all just big fucking idiots.
Nothing says I want to get this whole cheating and divorce scandal behind me like doing a tell all piece for Vanity Fair a year and a half after the story broke, and a year after nobody cares anymore. I don’t think there’s actually a way to spin the tale of losing your director husband to young Kristen Stewart demanding you service her angry snatch during set breaks. But Liberty Ross is trying in Vanity Fair, and she’s also taking off her top just to let you know she’s serious about being the aggrieved party.
‘I just visualised being this sort of Maasai warrior. I was just going to stand very still and very strong, and just let it roll past me.’
The Maasai warrior visualization technique is a pretty standard emotional survival response for models when bulimia and wearing oversized flannel shirts simply won’t do the trick. The Maasai tribes of sub-Saharan Africa are long heralded for handling cunnilingus cheating scandals.
I’ve done everything I could to be the perfect wife and mother and really support my husband. But I didn’t have any more to give, you know?’
Yes, yes, we do know. You were perfect. We don’t even need to cross examine this statement in the least if you give us a seductive photo shoot for the article. In fact, you show us some tit and we won’t even ask about what happened between you and ‘super close friend’ 60-year old Jimmy Iovine after you found out about your husband’s affair. Anybody who says print journalism is dead simply isn’t looking at Liberty Ross’ tits hard enough in this story.
Hollywood ranks as the third biggest dank-smoking industry in the world, right behind the National Basketball Association and South American Air Traffic Controllers, so it’s no surprise that somewhere around 68.9% of actors and actresses are puffing tough on Trainwreck at any given moment. But Kristen Stewart at the Academy Awards last night, she and that limp and that wicked unexplained arm bruise, she crashed through the ‘Bridge Out at 420′ sign and flew right off the embankment.
Kristen Stewart had quite a 2012. She compelled her Snow White director to chow down on her lunch box during union mandated production breaks, busting up his marriage to a hot Euro model, no less, she finally got her top off fully legit in On The Road, and in between giving the finger to paparazzi, broke up with her gay boyfriend who will certainly be missing that middle finger. She’s busy. And super fucking high.
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Check out Liberty Ross and her amazing legs and nipples. She’s the model whose director husband dove into Kristen’s breach face first and cost himself any shot at ever tweaking those nipples again in bed.