Photo Credit: INF
Photo Credit: INF
If you don’t see some nipple or female genitalia at a pop music concert these days, you’re getting ripped off. You used to just get horrible music and elaborate stage shows. Now you get horrible music and elaborate stage shows and naked body parts. At some point it’d be nice if they just played decent music and girls frigged themselves on the stage with some kind of strobe light dildos, but technically that’d be both pornographic and compelling.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
Lily Allen is a tough one to figure out, because there are times that she comes off annoying and strange and there are other times that she’s funny and sexy. This Instagram video from yesterday is a perfect example, because she’s dancing and shaking her hips in nothing but a pair of Spanx and an arm bra, which is great because topless girls are one of the world’s most important treasures. But then she’s also singing along with a Drake song and using a dumb voice, and that’s disappointing because it takes away from the joy of hoping that she’s going to move her arm. I guess what I’m trying to say is we’re not thankful enough for the mute button.
Singer Lily Allen had a little scare yesterday, as she was reportedly “rushed to the hospital” after she cut an interview short because of “projectile vomiting.” Sure, it sounds pretty serious on the surface, what with the public concerns of demonic possessions being at an all-time high, but Lily assured her fans that she was fine by posting a photo of herself looking like a corpse on Instagram. “I’m fine though guys,” she wrote, possibly while typing with small streams of puke hitting each individual key, “Just need some fluids cause I can’t keep anything down.” And somewhere, someone who really gets off on gross hospital photos of pasty white girls replied, “I’ve got some fluids for you.”
Lily Allen was one of the performers at last night’s celebration of the 275th anniversary of Coram, the oldest children’s charity in the world. Naturally, the only way to celebrate raising money to help kids is by wearing a flesh-toned top with no bra so it looks like your breasts are on full display. I’m not knocking it, of course, because there’s no better strategy in making old white men give out free money than by having naked women dance for it. They could just make a fun game out of it next time, and maybe have a more voluptuous singer like Katy Perry slowly remove her clothes as she performs, while the rich people throw money at her. Then, all of the really sick and dying kids could go out on stage and race each other in picking all the money up. However much they can hold is what goes toward saving their lives. Charity really doesn’t need to be so boring and proper all the time.
Photo Credits: Getty