I Heart Lily Allen, part 29

By brendon June 02, 2009 @ 11:54 AM

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It’s not like Lily Allen looks amazing with her top off or anything, but she’s a big star and she lays out almost naked all the time.   She’s sold almost 4 million records, whereas Vanessa Hudgens never lays out almost naked and has sold less than 500,000 records.  Coincidence?  Probably, yes, but is Vanessa willing to take that chance.  She needs to think of her bikini top as a loaded gun, just waiting to murder her career.

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 26, 2009 @ 12:34 PM

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ZAC EFRON – is considering breaking up with Vanessa Hudgens because he’s being told, “When people see them together, they think of their characters.” As in from “High School Musical”.  Another way to change his image would be to rant about how the Jews control the banks.  They do, you know.  I’ve got some stuff you should read.  (source = star magazine)

LILY ALLEN – says that “Britain’s Got Talent” sensation Susan Boyle is overrated, and that 12-year-old Shaheen Jarfagholi should win (relevant videos over here).  More importantly, how come we’re stuck with Paula Abdul and they get hot-ass Amanda Holden.  Every time I see Amanda I wanna punch Paula.  I’d rather “Idol” switch to footage from a truck stop toilet than go to Paula after every song. (source = daily mail)

SHAUNA SAND – for the second time today, the “star” of a set of pictures from Miami Beach has been overshadowed (this time by the random topless chick) but if you need to describe these Shauna pics to a coworker, stumble back and point at the monitor and say, “OHMY FUCKINGGOD WHATISTHAT?!”  (source = mavrix and splash. jump to hq here)

i heart lily allen, part 28

By brendon February 19, 2009 @ 8:13 AM

Lily Allen updated her twitter this morning to show off the tat, the "shhh" on her finger, that she got last night in West Hollywood.  I don’t wanna call Lily a copycat, but it's pretty similar to the "zzzz" I got on my eyelids, and the "boooiiing" on my penis. 

i heart lily allen, part 27

By brendon February 16, 2009 @ 1:35 PM

Lily Allen relaxed in the Bahamas on Friday (as seen above) but today she’s back on tour and back on Twitter.  In a response to the UK tabloid News of the World, who cited a Dutch newspaper and claimed Lily advocated parents giving their kids ecstasy, Lily wrote…

Phoning my lawyers and taking legal action, news of the world need a better dutch translator, as if I would say that. And they know it…

Perez of course rocked back and forth to push up off his frosting stained couch to write unfunny insults over this, even though she didn’t do it, part of his history of printing the worst stuff possible about her, regardless of whether or not those things are true.  Almost one year ago, he said his sources told him Lily was on her way to rehab.  Never happened.  He said his sources told him her new music sucked.  "It's Not Me It's You" debuted at number one, and "The Fear" is the number one single for the third week in a row.  He said his sources told him her record label was "livid" with her.  Hey guess who bought her this gold Rolex last week.

I'm not entirely sure what my point is to this.  I think I’m just trying to show off in front of Lily.  She can’t help but be impressed with my skill as a blogger, a talent on par with being able to stand still in front of a door to prop it open.

(picture source = splash news online)

i heart lily allen, part 26

By brendon February 13, 2009 @ 4:35 PM

Pictures like this are why people say a picture is worth a thousand words.  You can just look and tell Lily Allen was doing a radio interview and they asked about her third nipple and, even though she was wearing a dress, she didn’t even pause to hike that thing up and show them.   Most other girls aren’t like that.  They’re all stuck up.  You rarely get to see them take their clothes off at a moments notice.  Unless you pretend to be the cable guy and hide cameras in their bedroom.   Which is why I do that.

(picture source = splash news)

i heart lily allen, part 25

By brendon February 10, 2009 @ 2:19 PM

Today is boring as hell, and to perfectly illustrate that here is Lily Allen (her album is out today!) doing nothing this morning in New York.  Honest to god, fire-breathing dragons could take over the earth tonight and, when taken as a whole, it would still be the most painfully slow day I can remember. 

(picture source = splash)