afternoon headlines

By brendon October 19, 2009 @ 3:14 PM

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WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE – ruled the weekend box office by earning 32.5M. Notice I said “earned”. You could learn a thing or two about hard work and the value of a dollar from this movie, young man. (boxofficemojo)

MADONNA – was sued on Friday by her Central Park condo neighbor, because Madge “forces neighbors to endure blaring music, stomping and shaking walls … unreasonably high-decibel, amplified music as bass-y vibrations rumble through walls, ceilings and radiators.” To be fair, Madonna is an old lady. She was probably just watching Wheel of Fortune. “The Pat Sajak really tickles my goose,” she says to her cats. (enquirer)

WILMER VALDERAMA – will star in a sitcom based on “the Dog Whisperer”. Wilmer, the producer of ‘Hung’ and Fox have all come together to tell comedy lovers to go fuck themselves. (comingsoon)

RANDY QUAID – was due in court this morning in Santa Barbara to explain the fraud charges against him, but of course he didn’t show up, and now may be extradited from Texas. I’m not surprised he didn’t show up, but it was just as likely he’d show up in a gold horse drawn carriage, then stepped out wearing a tuxedo with tails, a ivory tipped cane, a top hat and spats.  (e!online)

LILY ALLEN – hung out topless on her balcony of a Venice hotel this weekened. Considering how often she does stuff like this, that might the most dishonest “classified” stamp ever awarded. (hq jump here)

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thursday night headlines

By brendon September 24, 2009 @ 9:18 PM

MEGAN FOX – yesterday there was the Megan-Fox-girl-kissing scene from ‘Jennifers Body’, now comes the famous Megan-Fox-getting-out-of-the-water-naked scene. And it’s terrific. They shot it perfectly. So Sexy. There’s really nothing I would have done differently.

JOE FRANCIS – is being sued for a million dollars by Jayde Nicole, the girl he beat up in a bar in August. Jayde says she suffered a “black eye, swollen face, bruised ribs, a sore and bruised abdomen region, bruised arms and legs, ripped out hair along with utter emotional distress and humiliation and she claims she suffered permanent disability.” I get everything but “humiliation”. She dates Brody Jenner. How much pride could she really have? (radar)

LILY ALLEN – says she is done making music. “Just so you know, I have not renegotiated my record contract and have no plans to make another record.” Luckily she says this kind of thing all the time. She’s awesome, but very emotional. The type who would try to kill herself by holding her breath. (the sun)

RANDY QUAID – has been arrested in Marfa, Texas for that hotel bill thing, but they didn’t go down easy. “there was a struggle and deputies had to wrestle Evi to the ground as she screamed loudly … Randy assaulted (deputies) physically and verbally and resisted arrest.” They will now be extradited to Santa Barbara, which actually sounds really relaxing. (tmz)

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I Heart Lily Allen, part 29

By brendon June 02, 2009 @ 11:54 AM

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It’s not like Lily Allen looks amazing with her top off or anything, but she’s a big star and she lays out almost naked all the time.   She’s sold almost 4 million records, whereas Vanessa Hudgens never lays out almost naked and has sold less than 500,000 records.  Coincidence?  Probably, yes, but is Vanessa willing to take that chance.  She needs to think of her bikini top as a loaded gun, just waiting to murder her career.

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon May 26, 2009 @ 12:34 PM

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ZAC EFRON – is considering breaking up with Vanessa Hudgens because he’s being told, “When people see them together, they think of their characters.” As in from “High School Musical”.  Another way to change his image would be to rant about how the Jews control the banks.  They do, you know.  I’ve got some stuff you should read.  (source = star magazine)

LILY ALLEN – says that “Britain’s Got Talent” sensation Susan Boyle is overrated, and that 12-year-old Shaheen Jarfagholi should win (relevant videos over here).  More importantly, how come we’re stuck with Paula Abdul and they get hot-ass Amanda Holden.  Every time I see Amanda I wanna punch Paula.  I’d rather “Idol” switch to footage from a truck stop toilet than go to Paula after every song. (source = daily mail)

SHAUNA SAND – for the second time today, the “star” of a set of pictures from Miami Beach has been overshadowed (this time by the random topless chick) but if you need to describe these Shauna pics to a coworker, stumble back and point at the monitor and say, “OHMY FUCKINGGOD WHATISTHAT?!”  (source = mavrix and splash. jump to hq here)

i heart lily allen, part 28

By brendon February 19, 2009 @ 8:13 AM

Lily Allen updated her twitter this morning to show off the tat, the "shhh" on her finger, that she got last night in West Hollywood.  I don’t wanna call Lily a copycat, but it's pretty similar to the "zzzz" I got on my eyelids, and the "boooiiing" on my penis. 

i heart lily allen, part 27

By brendon February 16, 2009 @ 1:35 PM

Lily Allen relaxed in the Bahamas on Friday (as seen above) but today she’s back on tour and back on Twitter.  In a response to the UK tabloid News of the World, who cited a Dutch newspaper and claimed Lily advocated parents giving their kids ecstasy, Lily wrote…

Phoning my lawyers and taking legal action, news of the world need a better dutch translator, as if I would say that. And they know it…

Perez of course rocked back and forth to push up off his frosting stained couch to write unfunny insults over this, even though she didn’t do it, part of his history of printing the worst stuff possible about her, regardless of whether or not those things are true.  Almost one year ago, he said his sources told him Lily was on her way to rehab.  Never happened.  He said his sources told him her new music sucked.  "It's Not Me It's You" debuted at number one, and "The Fear" is the number one single for the third week in a row.  He said his sources told him her record label was "livid" with her.  Hey guess who bought her this gold Rolex last week.

I'm not entirely sure what my point is to this.  I think I’m just trying to show off in front of Lily.  She can’t help but be impressed with my skill as a blogger, a talent on par with being able to stand still in front of a door to prop it open.

(picture source = splash news online)