i heart lily allen, part 19

By brendon January 16, 2009 @ 10:52 AM

I simply don’t understand why everyone doesn’t love Lily Allen as much as I do. Unless you’re a narcissistic sociopath like Perez who declares anyone who doesn’t kiss his ass as a blood enemy. That’s why he doesn’t like her, and it's why he makes up blatant lies about her. She's adorable. And her laugh is infectious. Here in a clip from Dutch TV she even lets the interviewer feel her third nipple, and on top of that she’s nice enough to flash her second nipple in the process. What an awesome job this guy did. No on has done this much for society since I helped boost teen pregnancy rates in the 90's.


By brendon January 07, 2009 @ 11:29 AM

So many big stars never give good answers to anything; they just sputter out some poorly formed nonsense that is perfectly safe and boring.  Lily Allen on the other hand…

You never hear the good things about taking cocaine … the only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you – you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that's not true.  I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work.  But we never hear that side of the story.  I wish people wouldn’t sensationalise it.  Some people are just bad at taking drugs.

Lily says she tried coke and didn’t like it, but please don’t think she's done pissing people off.

I don’t like Christianity much.  I was brought up in a Catholic school and they told me gays, adultery and drugs were bad.  All my mum’s friends were gay, my dad was having affairs and there were drugs in the house when I was a kid, so it was a bit cruel.

I admire her can-do spirit about coke.  We only hear the liberal medias negative spin, but without it our models would be fatasses and our linebackers would never reach a hundred tackles.  More importantly, look, if you can think of some better way to get 17-year-old runaways to do anal in a porn, I'm all ears, Mr. Fixit.

(picture source = splash news)


By brendon January 06, 2009 @ 10:58 AM

How can you not love Lily Allen?  She’s actually a big music star, but she runs around naked constantly and is a complete pain in the ass.  She's harmless of course, she's not gonna back over you with her car and then dump your corpse in a swamp, but she is the best when it comes to stuff like this…

LILY ALLEN has combined her two favourite things — t’internet and slagging people off — to re-ignite her feud with KATY PERRY.
Writing on her Facebook page, Lily said: “I have Katy Perry’s number, someone did me a favour.
“I’m just waiting for her to open her mouth one more time then it hits Facebook.”
Lily also joined two groups on the networking site.
One is called “I hate Katy Perry and her dumb-ass song I Kissed A Girl”.
The other is “Katy Perry? Who in the hell does she think she is?”

Katy Perry is an annoying pain in the ass so screw her, I hope Katy does it.  Or send it to me, I’ll do it.  WTF do I care?  What’s gonna happen?  Is Katy not gonna sleep with me if I cross this line?  I rarely get laid anyway, and there was at least a 50 percent chance she wasn’t gonna F me regardless, so I hardly see that as any kind of threat.


By brendon December 23, 2008 @ 6:45 AM

You could definitely definitely definitely make the argument that Lily Allen doesn’t have the body to walk the beach topless, but god bless her because she’s doing it anyway.  Its things like this that make her so cool.  Uppity bitches like Beyonce are so full of themselves they cant even go to starbucks without sending out two decoy cars, yet here’s Lily, all like BAM.

(these pictures are from todays Sun, so theyre really small.  I'll update with better when they show up)


By brendon December 19, 2008 @ 12:00 PM

Lily Allen hit up the Prada store in London last night wearing a see-thru shirt, and only a well-placed jacket kept her being essentially topless.  She doesn’t really have the body to pull this look off, but she gets an "A" for effort.  It's not that she has a bad body, it's just that she doesn’t have a hot body.  At least she's not fat, because I've seen fat girls wear this same kind of shirt, and it is visually disturbing.  I'm sure in their head they look sexy, but in reality it just looks like they’ve been captured.

(picture source = splash news)


By brendon December 15, 2008 @ 1:43 AM

Last night my girlfriend asked me if I would ever leave her for my beloved Lilly Allen if the situation presented itself. And I’m not good under pressure, so I punched her in the tummy, called her a fag and then ran away. Whew. That was a close one.