By brendon January 06, 2009 @ 10:58 AM

How can you not love Lily Allen?  She’s actually a big music star, but she runs around naked constantly and is a complete pain in the ass.  She's harmless of course, she's not gonna back over you with her car and then dump your corpse in a swamp, but she is the best when it comes to stuff like this…

LILY ALLEN has combined her two favourite things — t’internet and slagging people off — to re-ignite her feud with KATY PERRY.
Writing on her Facebook page, Lily said: “I have Katy Perry’s number, someone did me a favour.
“I’m just waiting for her to open her mouth one more time then it hits Facebook.”
Lily also joined two groups on the networking site.
One is called “I hate Katy Perry and her dumb-ass song I Kissed A Girl”.
The other is “Katy Perry? Who in the hell does she think she is?”

Katy Perry is an annoying pain in the ass so screw her, I hope Katy does it.  Or send it to me, I’ll do it.  WTF do I care?  What’s gonna happen?  Is Katy not gonna sleep with me if I cross this line?  I rarely get laid anyway, and there was at least a 50 percent chance she wasn’t gonna F me regardless, so I hardly see that as any kind of threat.


By brendon December 23, 2008 @ 6:45 AM

You could definitely definitely definitely make the argument that Lily Allen doesn’t have the body to walk the beach topless, but god bless her because she’s doing it anyway.  Its things like this that make her so cool.  Uppity bitches like Beyonce are so full of themselves they cant even go to starbucks without sending out two decoy cars, yet here’s Lily, all like BAM.

(these pictures are from todays Sun, so theyre really small.  I'll update with better when they show up)


By brendon December 19, 2008 @ 12:00 PM

Lily Allen hit up the Prada store in London last night wearing a see-thru shirt, and only a well-placed jacket kept her being essentially topless.  She doesn’t really have the body to pull this look off, but she gets an "A" for effort.  It's not that she has a bad body, it's just that she doesn’t have a hot body.  At least she's not fat, because I've seen fat girls wear this same kind of shirt, and it is visually disturbing.  I'm sure in their head they look sexy, but in reality it just looks like they’ve been captured.

(picture source = splash news)


By brendon December 15, 2008 @ 1:43 AM

Last night my girlfriend asked me if I would ever leave her for my beloved Lilly Allen if the situation presented itself. And I’m not good under pressure, so I punched her in the tummy, called her a fag and then ran away. Whew. That was a close one.


By brendon October 24, 2008 @ 12:01 AM

I make no apologies for my ever increasing crush on Lilly Allen.  She’s adorable, so it's with no hesitation that I mention she snuck a new song onto her myspace yesterday from her album which comes out at the beginning of next year.  It's not as good as the new song she had on there before (after the cut) bit it's still good.  It's about drugs or something, and how we shouldn’t do them.  I'm incredibly impressionable so if I stop using drugs I’ll give Lily full credit, much as I blame rap music for that time I shot some guys. 


By brendon September 05, 2008 @ 7:31 AM

My beloved Lily Allen has been getting killed all week by vindictive dickheads like Perez after she got drunk and had a little spat with Elton John while hosting the GQ Man of the year awards this past weekend. Now, Lily has taken to her myspace to give her side.

Elton john and I are friends. I was honoured when Elton asked me to present the GQ awards with him this year in association with Elton's AIDS foundation. Not only was it for a good cause but who would say no to Elton.
I'm not defending my drunkeness because i don't need to, i'm 23 it was an awards ceremony i drank the free champagne, how awful of me.
Trying to create a feud on the other hand, and trying to make me out as being some rude little girl with a drink problem is just unfair, Elton and I exchanged jokes and there were no hard feelings at all, infact neither of us gave it a second thought. It's sad that an evening enjoyed by all had to ruined by some bitter journos again.

But the Daily Mail paints a different picture after reading her personal facebook account:

Lily Allen has launched a worrying tirade of self-loathing on her personal Facebook page, describing her emotional state as 'dying inside'.  At 5.52pm yesterday, her Facebook entry read: 'Lily is dying inside.'  This replaced an earlier statement, posted at 4.30pm yesterday, when she wrote on her page: 'Lily has had enough feels like killing herself.'

Don’t care don’t care don’t care.  I’m unapologetically in love with Lily Allen.  Look!  It’s a Pink Panther pop.  And she had pink hair.  She’s adorable!  You just have to realize that if you invite her somewhere, she may get drunk and flail around.  So just don’t invite her to pick out plates or place the angel atop your newly decorated Christmas tree and things will be fine.