I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 11

By brendon September 03, 2008 @ 7:28 AM

Lily Allen was the co-host of the GQ Man of the Year awards in London last night, and there’s no need to ask if she was awesome, because of course she was.  The Times of London says…

Young pop singer Lily Allen received a very public dressing down from industry veteran Sir Elton John last night as the pair hosted the GQ Men of the Year Awards.
In front of an audience comprising the crème of the entertainment world, the 23-year-old chart-topper sipped champagne on stage until she began slurring and swearing.
When Allen told the audience at London's Royal Opera House "now we reach a very special point in the evening", Sir Elton replied: "What, you are going to have another drink?"
Allen, dressed demurely in a full-length ball gown, responded: "Fuck off Elton, I'm 40 years younger than you, I have my whole life ahead of me."
The 61-year-old superstar, watched by audience members including Gordon Ramsay, Thandie Newton and Elle MacPherson, then told her: “I could still snort you under the table.”

Okay so it definitely seems like Elton got the best of that exchange, but keep in mind that Lily was drunk, and thinking up clever comebacks is hard like that.  She’s a dynamite lady.

I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 10

By brendon August 21, 2008 @ 6:52 AM

It took a few days for good pictures of this to show up but here they are and here we go.  The story is this: Lilly Allen was out early Tuesday morning when some woman starting saying something to her.  Lily didn’t like it, so she threw a punch with one hand while holding a cigarette with the other, then she flashed her breast.  And this is why I'm so devoted to Lily Allen.  She’s the best.  In fact if she told someone, "I'm gonna kill that girl, you have my word", I would stand up and say, "and my bow".  And then you could stand up and say, "and my axe".  Together we would be unstoppable.

(picture source = splash news)



I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 9

By brendon August 08, 2008 @ 5:56 AM

Yesterday while running some errands in London, Lily Allen and her hilariously oversized shirt got out of a car and flashed one of her breasts.  Then later, she did it again, but this time flashing the other one.  As seen here.  I feel like we're dating at this point.

I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 8

By brendon August 07, 2008 @ 9:28 AM

How can you not love Lily Allen?  She's adorable.  I miss the pink hair, but now I can see her tits.  I consider this an acceptable substitution.  I'm tough but fair.

(picture source = splash news, more on less clothes)



THIS IS A TRAVESTY

By brendon July 08, 2008 @ 10:53 AM

Most chicks are too uppity to dye their hair orange or pink or blood red, which sucks because that shit is hot.  My point being, today just went to hell because it seems Lily Allen has dyed her back its natural brown, even though she looked adorable when it was pink.  I think I might dye my girlfriends’ hair pink to fill the void.  It shouldn’t be hard to convince her, considering my "girlfriend" is a pillow in a dress and sunglasses and a mop for hair.  I'm so lonely!

I HEART LILY ALLEN, PART 7

By brendon June 13, 2008 @ 5:06 AM

The myspace fight between Lily Allen and Perez Hilton went into round 2 yesterday, when Lily updated to answer some of Hiltons accusations.  The highlights are this: Hilton said Lily was pissed at her record label, Capitol, because they’re promoting Katy Perry, whoever the fuck that is.  Lily replied by saying of course Capitol was promoting Katy because Katy is new and Lily hasn’t had a record out on two years.  Perez called her a liar and idiot. Touché!  Then Lily wrote:

"I am not a liar Pee pEe.  how can I possibly have been to Capitols office in the last year when my visa to get into the states was only granted three weeks ago. there is no Capitol office in LA as far as I know and I certainly haven't been to New York in the past few days.  you should know, you've documented my every move since I got here.  And many people ask to have their photos taken with me, I don't keep a record of peoples names . You wouldn't understand that though, you can probably remember the names and faces of all seven fans that turned up to your clothing line signing the other day.

According to a story Hollywood Grind did on that Hot Topic signing, seven may be generous.  Regardless, Hilton put down his bacon long enough to threaten her and stamp his fat feet like the narcissistic sociopath queen he truly is.  

You're obviously an idiot!  How could you not know that your U.S. label, Capitol Records, has an office in Los Angeles????  In fact, their building is one of the most iconic structures in Hollywood!
Did we also mention that you're a liar?

He mentions the famous Capitol Records building and calls her an idiot, but somehow forgets to mention that it’s no longer the Capitol Records building.  It was sold two years ago to a New York firm called Argent ventures.  But the point to all this is this picture, which Lily made (saved as chubbshiltonartwork.jpg) and even used as her myspace icon for a brief while yesterday.  The lesson to be learned here is, don’t fuck with Lily Allen.  The only way she could own him any more is if she wacked him on the head with a shovel and then buried him alive.