Lindsay Lohan: Master Thief?

By Jack March 29, 2013 @ 1:54 PM

Lindsay Lohan is apparently now stealing shit from production sets. It seems that while she was working on Anger Management she just walked off the set with a bunch of jewelry and clothes. She claims that the costumer told her that it was fine and that they would just deduct it from her salary. The problem is that both the costumer and the producers are saying that’s bullshit.

Sometimes actors are allowed to keep their wardrobe but it’s almost always written into their contract. Besides the costs, they won’t let you take shit off the set while they are filming is because they might need to do re-shoots. When Lindsay leaves it on the floor of a vomit covered nightclub’s floor, they have to buy all new stuff. Is this bitch really this stupid? People are working with her at this point out of pity, which is how she got the Anger Management job from Charlie Sheen. Now producers not only have to be wary of the money they are going to lose from her not showing up anywhere close to on time and having to do a million takes because she’s high but also that she’s going to steal her wardrobe. It’s just possible her career might be in trouble.

Lindsay Lohan Braless Knockers Knock Back a Last Few

By Lex March 25, 2013 @ 12:29 PM

When the media reports on Lindsay Lohan and her constant troubles with drugs and alcohol, they like to use terms like ‘troubled’ or ‘party-girl’ or ‘wayward’. Like she’s a high school honor student who fell into the wrong crowd and came home with Natty Light on her breath in the first act of an after-school special. What about just calling her a freaking ‘addict’? A wired-to-the-core junkie with an insatiable desire to self-medicate through whatever illicit substance she can pour into her pie-hole, snuff up her nose, or rapidly yearn into her snatch. I suppose ‘wayward’ is more economical, and less harsh, but also completely dishonest.

Lindsay was spotted knocking back vodka out of an unmarked carafe at a local watering hole not long after her guilty plea to her latest criminal charges and yet another court mandated rehab stint. Which means 90-days before Lindsay is allowed to return to her blessed drugs. Which she will. Because she’s ‘wayward’.

Photo credit: GSI

Lindsay Lohan Avoids Jail, Again (VIDEO)

By Bill March 19, 2013 @ 8:24 AM

It’s hard to really hate Lindsay Lohan. She’s a fucked up former childhood star with an addiction problem she’ll probably carry to her premature demise. Her parents are two of the foulest, most self-serving jackasses to ever walk the face of this planet. Lindsay doesn’t seem to be violent in any way. Just supremely messed up and unable to stop self-medicating with booze and drugs. Still, she could easily hurt somebody else, especially when she decides it’s time to take a Sunday drive after nine cocktails and a snort of GHB. Lindsay probably deserves to be locked up or in monitored care somewhere. But nobody seems to want to put her in jail. Larceny, cocaine possession, multiple DUIs, multiple probation violations and the court seems to think rehab is the place for Lindsay, even if she keeps climbing out the bathroom window every time she’s there.

In her latest round of ‘I dare you to put me in the big house’, Lindsay avoided jail once more after admitting that she lied to the cops about not driving the Porsche that slammed into a truck last summer in Malibu. She got more community service and more rehab. The court threw psychological therapy on for good and pointless measure. The dudes down at the County Morgue where Lindsay does her service time are probably jacked.

It’s a tough call as to what to do with fucked up former childhood stars. Maybe a desert island packed with cocaine and weapons, push them out of a low flying helicopter and tell them the only way off the island is to find and kill Nicholas from Eight is Enough. At least it’d be sporting.

Justin Bieber Mocks Lindsay’s Broke-Ass

By Bill March 15, 2013 @ 8:18 AM

I’m inclined to give most unusually wealthy 19-year olds a break, because I know deep down that if I could’ve had that kind of power at 19, I would’ve been a wildly annoying prick too. We all would. It’s why God made 99.9% of teenagers broke and disenfranchised. It’s really best for everybody. But even among the spoiled and privileged, Justin Bieber is a special kind of asswipe.

After Justin got mocked online on Thursday for being the next childhood star fuckup like Lindsay Lohan, he went onto Instagram to brag about how much money he has and how busted drug-addled Lindsay is.

To those comparing me to Lindsay Lohan look at her 2012 tax statements :)

Not only is that the total bitch move, now  you’ve gone and made us feel sorry for Lindsay. Fuck you twice, Justin. You’re not like all the rest.

Lindsay borrowed this $1750 dress, immediately destroyed it

By brendon February 20, 2013 @ 6:16 PM


If your grandmother were here she would say, “no good deed goes unpunished”, because Lindsay Lohan was all over town last week, desperate to borrow a fancy dress for the amFAR gala, and was only successful when Charlie Sheen arranged for celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch to loan her one. And it was beautiful; a beaded full-length gown from Hollywood favorite Theia worth $1750.

But of course this is a Lindsay Lohan story, so, naturally, within a matter of hours, she was in a bar with a pair of scissors cutting the gown in half.

“She said that the dress had ripped (and) she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But what bouncer has scissors?”

Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day you woke up and read a story where Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a complete cunt? I think my legs would kick out and my hat would pop off my head like in cartoons.

Lindsay Lohan would like $500,000 please

By brendon February 19, 2013 @ 5:01 PM


Lindsay Lohan would be lucky to get an energy drink promotion where they didn’t charge her for the cans she opened, but instead she wants half a million dollars to go to Dubai and promote Mr. Pink. This is the same drink she promoted back in October, which had absolutely no effect on its brand recognition or approval. Or at least she would have done this except for her multiple court dates and probation.

“Lindsay wants $500k for an appearance in Dubai to promote Mr. Pink’s Ginseng Energy Drink, which executives at the company are balking at. Mr. Pink is prepared to offer the actress $200k, and would pay for all of LiLo’s travel expenses,” a source told Radar.
“However, the trip might not happen at all because of Lindsay’s criminal past and current pending criminal charges. Dubai has very strict laws about convicted criminals entering the country, and Lindsay is still on probation for a necklace theft case.”

This is not really relevant but I hate the way Lindsay wears hats. It’s as if someone put it on her while she was passed out, and had to do it really gently, and then she got up and left and just never noticed. Either that or shes hiding stuff under there. So in hindsight maybe it was relevant.

(image source of lindsay being screened at lax, and then somehow being let in = bauer griffin)