Lindsay Lohan is on the 25th hour of freedom before they take away her booze for 90 days. So she did what any drug-addled girl would do. She flew down to Brazil, let her boob fall out of her dress getting off a helicopter, hit the clubs, then hid under a table when the demons of her soul came looking for her. A day in the life.
Lindsay Lohan is apparently now stealing shit from production sets. It seems that while she was working on Anger Management she just walked off the set with a bunch of jewelry and clothes. She claims that the costumer told her that it was fine and that they would just deduct it from her salary. The problem is that both the costumer and the producers are saying that’s bullshit.
Sometimes actors are allowed to keep their wardrobe but it’s almost always written into their contract. Besides the costs, they won’t let you take shit off the set while they are filming is because they might need to do re-shoots. When Lindsay leaves it on the floor of a vomit covered nightclub’s floor, they have to buy all new stuff. Is this bitch really this stupid? People are working with her at this point out of pity, which is how she got the Anger Management job from Charlie Sheen. Now producers not only have to be wary of the money they are going to lose from her not showing up anywhere close to on time and having to do a million takes because she’s high but also that she’s going to steal her wardrobe. It’s just possible her career might be in trouble.
When the media reports on Lindsay Lohan and her constant troubles with drugs and alcohol, they like to use terms like ‘troubled’ or ‘party-girl’ or ‘wayward’. Like she’s a high school honor student who fell into the wrong crowd and came home with Natty Light on her breath in the first act of an after-school special. What about just calling her a freaking ‘addict’? A wired-to-the-core junkie with an insatiable desire to self-medicate through whatever illicit substance she can pour into her pie-hole, snuff up her nose, or rapidly yearn into her snatch. I suppose ‘wayward’ is more economical, and less harsh, but also completely dishonest.
Lindsay was spotted knocking back vodka out of an unmarked carafe at a local watering hole not long after her guilty plea to her latest criminal charges and yet another court mandated rehab stint. Which means 90-days before Lindsay is allowed to return to her blessed drugs. Which she will. Because she’s ‘wayward’.
It’s hard to really hate Lindsay Lohan. She’s a fucked up former childhood star with an addiction problem she’ll probably carry to her premature demise. Her parents are two of the foulest, most self-serving jackasses to ever walk the face of this planet. Lindsay doesn’t seem to be violent in any way. Just supremely messed up and unable to stop self-medicating with booze and drugs. Still, she could easily hurt somebody else, especially when she decides it’s time to take a Sunday drive after nine cocktails and a snort of GHB. Lindsay probably deserves to be locked up or in monitored care somewhere. But nobody seems to want to put her in jail. Larceny, cocaine possession, multiple DUIs, multiple probation violations and the court seems to think rehab is the place for Lindsay, even if she keeps climbing out the bathroom window every time she’s there.
In her latest round of ‘I dare you to put me in the big house’, Lindsay avoided jail once more after admitting that she lied to the cops about not driving the Porsche that slammed into a truck last summer in Malibu. She got more community service and more rehab. The court threw psychological therapy on for good and pointless measure. The dudes down at the County Morgue where Lindsay does her service time are probably jacked.
It’s a tough call as to what to do with fucked up former childhood stars. Maybe a desert island packed with cocaine and weapons, push them out of a low flying helicopter and tell them the only way off the island is to find and kill Nicholas from Eight is Enough. At least it’d be sporting.
I’m inclined to give most unusually wealthy 19-year olds a break, because I know deep down that if I could’ve had that kind of power at 19, I would’ve been a wildly annoying prick too. We all would. It’s why God made 99.9% of teenagers broke and disenfranchised. It’s really best for everybody. But even among the spoiled and privileged, Justin Bieber is a special kind of asswipe.
After Justin got mocked online on Thursday for being the next childhood star fuckup like Lindsay Lohan, he went onto Instagram to brag about how much money he has and how busted drug-addled Lindsay is.
To those comparing me to Lindsay Lohan look at her 2012 tax statements :)
Not only is that the total bitch move, now you’ve gone and made us feel sorry for Lindsay. Fuck you twice, Justin. You’re not like all the rest.
If your grandmother were here she would say, “no good deed goes unpunished”, because Lindsay Lohan was all over town last week, desperate to borrow a fancy dress for the amFAR gala, and was only successful when Charlie Sheen arranged for celebrity stylist Phillip Bloch to loan her one. And it was beautiful; a beaded full-length gown from Hollywood favorite Theia worth $1750.
But of course this is a Lindsay Lohan story, so, naturally, within a matter of hours, she was in a bar with a pair of scissors cutting the gown in half.
“She said that the dress had ripped (and) she couldn’t possibly wear it like that — so her stylist friend went to the club bouncer and requested some scissors to repair the torn part of the dress,” a source tells Us Weekly. “But what bouncer has scissors?”
Wouldn’t it be amazing if one day you woke up and read a story where Lindsay Lohan wasn’t a complete cunt? I think my legs would kick out and my hat would pop off my head like in cartoons.