This seems unlikely even for her, but the New York Post says you can hire Lindsay Lohan to appear at your next wedding, birthday, corporate event, or any other event that you want to have clumsily robbed.

Page Six received an email pitch from 123Talent with the subject line “Book One of Hollywood’s Biggest Movie Stars Lindsay Lohan Now!” offering us the opportunity to request the presence of Lohan herself at whatever event or venue.
In bright pink lettering, the email reminds us that “Not only is Lindsay an Actress but she is also a Fashion Designer, Model and Recording Artist.”

So this sounds like bullshit because, for one, I’ve never heard of 123Talent, and two, Lindsay will attend anything with an open bar anyway, regardless of wether or not you hire her, or invite her, or have security throw her out.

Scrores strip club in New York is offering to pay the $16,000 Lindsay Lohan owes on her storage locker, which will be put up for auction if she can’t pay, and the rent on her house in Beverly Hills for the next few months, in exchange for hosting an online chat on their website.

And they don’t even want her to strip, which is understandable at this point.

Hopefully she says yes because it’ll show how desperate she is. By this time next year, for $5,000, she’ll wear a horse mask and let you shoot her with a paintball gun.

Lindsay Lohan had her probation (the one she got for robbing that jewelry store) revoked this morning at a hearing accusing her of lying to police after her car crash in June. So someone should tell her that when she wakes up in a few hours because she wasn’t even in court today (apparently it wasn’t mandatory), and now there’s another hearing for this exact same thing on January 15th.

Assuming of course she’s not in jail in New York after her court date there on January 7th for assault.

Knowing Lindsay, she’ll skate on both, whereas a non-famous person would have been sentenced to fight some other criminal to the death in an abandoned swimming pool by now.

Lindsay Lohan will be back in court tomorrow for lying to the police after her car crash in June, which violated her probation, and faces up to 245 days in jail. Which she won’t get. Because she never does. The End.

Remember earlier this year, when Lindsay Lohan rented an astoundingly expensive house in Beverly Hills, even though it was pretty obvious to the entire world that she’d never be able to pay that rent?

Well she can’t pay the rent.

We’re told Lindsay signed the lease on the home back in February … when her career was on the upswing and the money seemed to be rolling in.
But according to our sources, when Lindsay’s finances took a turn for the worse, Lindsay began doing whatever she could to make rent each month, often hitting up friends for money. 

“Ok Lindsay, so you want to borrow 10 grand, and you have no means of paying it back, and you’ll avoid me and lie for the next six months, and when you go to the bathroom in a minute you’ll steal one of my watches and then tell the cops I’m a crazy liar? Well that sounds good, I accept your terms, we have a deal.”

Or more accurately, Ali Lohan is selling Lindsays old clothes for cash now, because the IRS seized Lindsays bank accounts, and she’s too uppity to do it herself.

Radar Online reported Friday that Lindsay Lohan sent sister Ali to Wasteland, a used clothing store in Los Angeles with a collection of designer clothing.
But despite the magnificence of Lindsay’s castoffs, Ali wasn’t able to realize much on the deal.
“Thirty dollars for these? They cost $700!” Ali said.
But the management didn’t budge, and Ali ultimately left the store not much richer than went she went in.

Yeah but keep in mind that Lindsay probably stole most of that stuff anyway, so it’s still free money as far as she’s concerned.