When the police showed up, Lindsay Lohans dad tried to escape by jumping into a tree from a 3rd story balcony because he violated probation by contacting the girl he was ordered not to contact yesterday after allegedly hitting her the day before.
I just had to get that out of the way because its so awesomely white trash. CBS News in Tampa says…
Police say Wednesday afternoon, not long after he was released from jail, Lohan called Major, violating that judge’s order.
Investigators say while officers were talking with Major at her apartment, Lohan called again. She put him on speakerphone and police listened in.
They went to the Tahitian Inn in South Tampa at around 1 a.m. Thursday to arrest him.
Officers say Lohan spotted them and jumped from a third story balcony to try to get away.
But police caught him and slapped on the cuffs.
When police got Lohan to the Orient Road Jail, deputies did not process him in; they think he may have a broken foot.
And while he was doing that, Lindsay was posing naked because she’s about to go to jail again and needs the money. In a sense I feel bad for her because she never had a chance with such shitty parents. In another, more accurate sense, I can’t wait to see her vagina. Here’s a shout out to all you shitty parents who make things like this possible!
It’s only a matter of time before Lindsay Lohan gives an interview where she says she did Playboy because she thought it would be fun and Marilyn Monroe was one of her idols and she was in Playboy and so was Cindy Crawford and the pictures were so beautiful and artistic and on and on like that for 20 minutes and holy fuck are you kidding me.
Needless to say that’s all bullshit and she’s broke.
Lindsay Lohan decided to do a Playboy photo shoot because she was extremely concerned about her financial situation and a possible jail sentence, Radar is exclusively reporting.
The embattled actress is facing up to 18 months behind bars for a possible probation violation in her shoplifting case. LiLo’s probation violation hearing is scheduled for November 2.
“Lindsay still hasn’t signed her contract to be in the John Gotti biopic. Lindsay is extremely concerned about her finances, and she needs the money. Lindsay’s flow of income has been greatly diminished in the last year. With the possibility of being sent back to jail for over a year, she felt that now was the time to do the Playboy photo shoot,” a source close to the actress tells us.
Well at least Playboy is getting their moneys worth because she reportedly went full frontal. That’ll be a real treat for the 40 or so guys who haven’t fucked her yet.
In an event that literally everyone predicted starting about 5 years ago, Lindsay Lohan posed naked for Playboy this weekend.
There’s no word on when the pictures will be released, and TMZ says this was just the first of a few planned shoots. For the record, after some negotiating, she was paid somewhere between $750,000 and $1,000,000.
She’s already posed naked before of course, in New York magazine (see those pictures here), but this should be even nakeder. Or at least it better be. It beter not that bullshit some celebrities pull where they giggle and cover everything good with sheets or their hands or by standing behind something like this is a god damn Austin Powers movie.
Dina Lohan is reportedly shopping a tell all book about Lindsay to explain how things went so wrong, and you’ll be shocked to hear that a Lohan is taking no responsibility whatsoever and this is all someone else’s fault. A few excerpts…
“I blamed her friends, her career and her handlers for an (sic) newfound lifestyle of partying excessively. Drinking, drugging and behaving irresponsibly became Lindsay’s way of daily living–and it tore me up inside.”
“How could I deny my daughter the chance of a lifetime? How could I hold Lindsay back from her dream of becoming an actress? So, I listened to others and sent my daughter to Hollywood with a few pieces of luggage and a chaperone.”
Well just because sending the 16-year-old daughter of two addicts to live in Hollywood with no supervision and unlimited money didn’t work out this time, I don’t think that makes it a bad idea, I think we can all agree on that. Lindsay is the exception to the rule.
Less than 24 hours ago Lindsay Lohan was in a courtroom being berated by the judge and having her probation revoked because she couldn’t be bothered to attend her community service appointments on time and was more of a disruption than anything else. After that the judge told her she must complete at least 32 hours at the LA county morgue before her next hearing in two weeks.
So, try and guess if she did what she was told and arrived on time today or if she was 40 minutes late and pissed everyone off?
Sources at the morgue tell TMZ Lindsay was scheduled to be at the morgue at 8 AM. At 7:40, Lindsay’s assistant called to say they were 10 minutes away. By 8:20, she was still a no-show.
So officials at the Coroner’s Office have decided if Lindsay eventually shows up they will turn her away.
And it gets way worse for Lindsay. We’re told the Coroner’s Office will notify Probation’s Volunteer Center — which monitors her probation — that Lindsay screwed up again, and the judge will then be notified.
And it gets even worse for Lindsay after that, because the LA County Sheriff told Good Day LA this morning that, despite the over crowding issues that has led to her early release every time in the past, he will find room in his jail for next time and he thinks she should go in for at least 60 days. And maybe that will do it. It’s hard to even explain how anyone could fuck up so many times. She has to either be retarded or she’s trying to impress some drug dealer/criminal that she has a crush on.
1. Lindsay Lohans latest mug shot has been released.
2. Her dad says she’s either on meth or crack.
And that’s pretty much all the new Lindsay Lohan news. Keep in mind her dad doesn’t really speak to her so he’s just guessing about her drug stuff, though it seems a reasonable assumption. I should issue like a $1,000 bounty on a lock of her hair so we can test it, but mostly because it would be funny to see people following her around with scissors.
