Lisa Opie Eschews Undergarments

Women going out for the evening without underpants used to have a very limited upside. You weren't necessarily shuffled up to the VIP room to meet the visiting royals and Haliburton execs. But the bartender would fuck you in exchange for comped drinks. read more

Lisa Opie Graduates Northward

Lisa Opie won a beauty pageant on one of the Caribbean islands where people go on package deals to fuck other people's wives. Opie is a more practical pageant contestant. If she's got stories on billionaires ogling her or making dirty jokes in the dressing room, she's... read more

Lisa Opie in a Bikini

Fat women will point out how skinny women are just as likely to die in a thermonuclear explosion as they are. It's probably not to your benefit to skip meals to fit perfectly into your little bikini. But that's you. Let's talk about me. I appreciate it. There'll be time... read more

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Lisa Opie In A White Bikini

The obvious downside of being a chick who wears a bikini for her nine to five is the starvation and gym workouts you can't fake. The upside, sleeping until 11:00 am and casually running a credit check on the guy in your bed who claims to be a successful night club owner.... read more

Lisa Opie in A Bikini Doing Yoga

I'm not sure women should be allowed to strike this particular pose on the public beach. It's like showing off breasts. It's merely going to cause boys to become interested in girls and someday want to have sex with them. Somebody needs to explain to these boys that... read more

Lisa Opie in a Bikini

If you can't pull off a decent upward bow, you can't be my girlfriend. Fuck if I grimace when I try to touch my toes. If I can't rest my chalupa party pack on your midsection for at least the first half of a Sunday NFC East showdown, I'm not going to meet your parents... read more

Lisa Opie And Kristina Sofia Wear Bikinis Together On The Beach In Miami

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Lisa Opie Talks On The Phone In A Bikini On Miami Beach

Photo Credit: Splash [gallery ids="1757750,1757754,1757755,1757756,1757751,1757752,1757753,1757757"] read more

Lisa Opie And Ana Braga in Bikinis

I admire the way women so seamlessly interact within each other's personal space. If any of my buddies asked me to pull their swim trunks out of their ass, I'd punch them hard in the neck and tell them we can't play D&D anymore. That's not homophobic, that's... read more

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Lisa Opie Bikini Yoga, Why the Fuck Not

Yoga really is the ultimate in training for the mind, body, and soul. It's hard to imagine what India would be like today were it not for 5,000 years of yoga enlightenment. Millions of people might be shitting in the streets with millions more poking through that shit to... read more

Lisa Opie In A Nude Bikini At The Beach In Miami

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Lisa Opie In A Bikini

I really like this Lisa Opie girl. Her background in beauty pageants lets me know she's a talent woman. She always seems to be doing something interesting with her days on the beach. Sometimes she's on her stomach, sometimes her back. Sometimes she's on the phone, or... read more