Elizabeth Hurley and her fiancé Shane Warner took his kids trick or treating around their neighborhood in Melbourne today in the most half-assed ninja costumes you’ll ever see. I mean she’s wearing a fur for fucks sake, the boys just have their collars pulled up over their face, and the little girl has a fucking easter basket.
Kids: “Trick or treat/happy easter!”
Person at door: “Are you robbing me or did someone fart, and if you think I’m dying you an egg you can fuck off.”
(source = pacific coast news)
Just in case anyone in Edinburgh, England, wasn’t aware that this is breast cancer awareness month, Liz Hurley went to Estee Lauder’s Breast Cancer Awareness campaign yesterday and promptly made sure that everyone was aware of breasts. This is why I’m trying to convince Liz I’m not aware of blowjobs. (image source = splash)
I’m glad that 45-year-old Liz Hurley and her amazing tits still look this good in a bikini, but it’s also troubling. Where are all the new hot bitches in Hollywood? The wave of Megan Fox, Jessica Alba, Scarlett Johansson, and Jessica Biel is sort of done, Lindsay Lohan looks worse at 24 than Benjamin Button, and Jessica Simpson simply refuses to stop eating.
What the fuck. I can’t think of even one new girl who is as good as they were. Three years ago we had all of them at once and now there’s no one. Megan Fox is still hot enough that if we were married and she died I’d have her stuffed and mounted and happily hump that for the rest of my life, but some new hot bitch needs to step up fast.
(image source = pacific coast)
Elizabeth Hurley attended a charity event in London last night for something called the Naked Heart Foundation, and to get into the spirit of things, she showed off her Naked Breast. Which reminds me, Elizabeth Hurley is 100 percent invited to my bulimia awareness event for the Swallow It Now! coalition. I’m incredibly optimistic she’ll misinterpret this one too.
(picture source = getty images and wenn)
BRAD PITT - is being asked to run for mayor of New Orleans. He doesn’t have any political experience, but he does have experience with kids who have never met their biological father, and that’s like half the city, so this might work. (source = mirror uk)
E! - announced yesterday that they will no longer report on Heidi and Spencer, after 94 percent of their readers voted to ban them. Is E! just following what I did three weeks ago? I don’t care. (source = e! online)
LIZ HURLEY - it’s frustrating that all women could have huge racks, just like Liz Hurley, but they won’t do it. What are you Amish? We can do this now, it’s all figured out. You gonna stop driving a car too, and wash your clothes on a rock in the river. God you suck so much. (hq jump here. source = splash)
JOHN MAYER - gawker says his new song is about a “woman obsessed with another man and can communicate only indirectly, for example through national tabloid magazines.” But they don’t name the woman, instead they say something about Jenifer Ansiton. Hey Gawker, WTF? (gawker)
BRITNEY – she's apparently “fallen for her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, and is trying to rebuild their broken family.” But the 5 paragraphs before that are about her gettin it on with some other dude. So Kevin is forgiven if he’s getting mixed signals. (source = ok)
LIZ HURLEY – she’s a genius when it comes to understanding the power of tits, so of course when she opened her store in Bicester, England yesterday – not a bikini store, mind you - she had hot teen girls in bikinis. Rest assured, if there’s a way to get clean renewable energy and tits are somehow involved, Liz Hurley will figure that shit out. (source = getty and wenn)
