Ellen DeGeneres Hates the T’s in LGBT

By Jack March 04, 2014 @ 2:03 PM

Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres is catching a shitload of flack from the transgender community for the only funny joke she made all night at The Oscars, pointing out that Liza Minnelli looks like a dude playing Liza Minnelli:

“Hello to the best Liza Minnelli impersonator I’ve ever seen. Good job, sir.”

People who support transgender rights have their various and assorted privates in a bunch about it. Ellen, who is the poster child for boring politically correct society, is now being called transphobic, which based on my single year of Latin tells me that Ellen hates things that change. I suppose in this case that means penis to vagina or vagina to penis. I’ve never been called transphobic before, it’s yet to catch on as a standard charge against people who don’t wholeheartedly support your right to be awesome. But I bet it hurts Ellen who even though she’s kept her lady parts, likes to package herself like John Peterman. I’m sensing a fracture from the T’s in the LGBT alliance. This isn’t exactly the Russians moving into Crimea, but the Bisexuals better look out for the nad-swappers, there’s going to be one glamorous fucking rumble.

Liza Minnelli Won The Best Old Lady Nipples

By Travis March 03, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Liza Minnelli attended the Academy Awards last night because her mother, Judy Garland, was being honored for some reason, and what better way to pay tribute to the woman who gave birth to you 67 years ago than by going commando? Liza’s decision to not wear a bra to the Oscars not only left her tits looking like the lowest branches on a weeping willow, but what made the whole thing really come together was that fact that her nipples clung to the material like a frightened child, and that gave us all a perfect look at her big old lady milk saucers. Speaking of the kids, somewhere, a young boy was probably watching the show with his parents, and he caught a glimpse of Liza when they showed her on the red carpet or in the audience, and those nipples are the first that he’d ever see in his life. And that, friends, is how Broadway’s engine keeps running.

Photo Credits: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com