The New Human Barbie Is Almost Perfect

By Lex August 22, 2014 @ 9:50 AM

Human Barbie Lolita Richi Facebook Photo
She’s sixteen. She’s from the Ukraine. She has a 20-inch waist and 32F breasts. And she has a glassy empty robotic stare. Lolita Richi is perfect! Almost. Because this human Barbie doll speaks, and speaks, and speaks:

People have openly told me that they’re jealous of me and how good I look. All of the boys at school fancy me as well but I don’t like any of them. They are not to my taste.

Ah, make it stop! She’s ruining everything.

I think I’ve achieved this image better than anyone else. I’m the ultimate vamp woman. I haven’t even heard of Valeria Lukyanov.

What repair shop will make my Barbie doll shut the fuck up? I’m prepared to buy one of these action figures once they figure out why the real doll versions are so popular. The owner provides the words.

Photo Credit: Lolita Richie/Facebook