Lolo Jones Will Tell You What To Do

February 19, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Self-proclaimed virgin Lolo Jones doesn’t want you to see Fifty Shades of Grey¬†because she doesn’t approve of the sex she’s never had. She’s likely projecting her circumstances unto the rest of society like your dumb teenage nephew in the... READ MORE

Lolo Jones Feels Bad for Oscar Pistorius

October 31, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lolo Jones has notably failed at many things, but she’s the big winner in being the first to publicly support and pray for Oscar Pistorius, the blade running killer. Her sympathy for Pistorius stems from her own dad being... READ MORE

Lolo Jones Keeps Losing

September 18, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Repeated non-winner Lolo Jones driveled some fairly transparent attention seeking after losing on Dancing With The Stars. Jones is known for being kind of hot and losing a ton of shit that she was never expected to win. She... READ MORE

Lolo Jones, Red Bull, Short Dress, I Still Ain’t Watching

September 10, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Dancing with the Stars has to be the biggest gay trap on television. Dancing anything really. I’m not like Alec Baldwin. I hold no dark and hateful sentiment toward men who love one another with little seductive nibbles on... READ MORE

Lolo Jones Bitches About Her Paycheck

June 19, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Noted 30-year old virgin and twice Summer Olympics failed Lolo Jones took to the annoying new Vine video feed to bitch about her U.S. Bobsled team paycheck. Apparently, training to be on a Winter Olympics team isn’t a way... READ MORE