Drake And Macklemore Shot Into Space And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 17, 2014 @ 12:30 PM

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The inexplicably popular Drake used his forum as host of the ESPYs to throw shade at Macklemore. He’s still jealous that the talentless shitburger beat him at the Grammys to which he wore his very neatest suit. I wish Easy-E hadn’t died of The AIDS so he could set these kids straight, with a gun.

Read what the handicapped kid from Degrassi had to say about Macklemore. (Huffington Post)

Want to see a picture of Kate Upton big ole titties? Of course you do! (Drunken Stepfather)

Bruce Willis’ daughter Rumer is hot, especially when she wears a see-through shirt. (Taxi Driver)

Britney Spears dined and very slowly dashed at the Cheesecake Factory (The Superficial)

Chrissy Teigen warms up for a performance by spazzing out all sexy on the floor. (COED)

Selena Gomez isn’t wearing any underwear under her Renn Faire dress. (Popoholic)

Whore banshee Jenny McCarthy claims she’s burned through 400 vibrators. (BroBible)

Macklemore Loves the Gays, the Jews Maybe a Bit Less

By Lex May 20, 2014 @ 5:44 PM

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Macklemore is under fire from Jewish Groups and Seth Rogen, Hollywood’s Ambassador for Jewy Jewishness for dressing up with a fake mop top, beard, and a crooked nose and performing his Thrift Shop song during a show in Seattle. Cries of anti-Semitism resounded pretty quickly after Macklemore donned what he claimed to be a completely innocent costume for the song about scoring deals on cheap shmata:

Some people there thought I looked like Ringo, some Abe Lincoln. If anything I thought I looked like Humpty Hump with a bowl cut. I wasn’t attempting to mimic any culture, nor resemble one. A ‘Jewish stereotype’ never crossed my mind. I acknowledge how the costume could, within a context of stereotyping, be ascribed to a Jewish caricature. I am here to say that it was absolutely not my intention.

In short, c’mon, I married 33 gay couples at the Grammy’s? How about I get free pass on this Fagin business? Only bad people like the Duck Commander can be intolerant. Good people like me and Alec Baldwin use the term faggot and coon as terms of righteous endearment on their crusade of enlightenment. Later Macklemore Tweeted something about Donald Sterling being a vile racist then donned his sombrero and fake mustache for his song, ‘Taco Stand Illegal Wetback No Mas’.

Queen Latifah Marries Gay Couples at Grammys

By Lex January 27, 2014 @ 1:34 PM

That four ring circus of everything but music jumped the auto-tuned shark last night when Queen Latifah married thirty-four couples on stage while Macklemore and Roy Rogers sang Same Love, a song about how all love is special love, including I think furry cosplay creampies, but I’m still checking the lyrics. Madonna wanted the world to know that banging African men half your age is same love, though it’s important to actually only marry successful white guys. Macklemore wanted to triple apologize to everybody for not being gay himself, though if only God had answered his prayers. And Queen Latifah just wanted to do anything on stage since she shat out 40 lbs for her daytime talk show. It all culminated in the Queen joining a few dozen couples on stage in holy matrimony. There were midgets and old people and Mexicans marrying Jews and I think one Yemeni stone mason married his four-year old second cousin, but the social statement oomph was the marriage of the gay couples. Using her regal powers, Latifah married them all in one fell swoop, signifying the hyper-holy nature of matrimony on national television set to Madonna music.

Grammy producers were quick to insist that the marriage set wasn’t just a publicity stunt. They also insisted that music sales are going great and American record stores continue to thrive.

“We don’t need to stoop to the level of trying to find gimmicks and sensationalistic approaches to what we do”
–Neil Portnow, the president of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences

Neil, this would be the time to shut the fuck up, you know what you did. Now there’s a Yemeni dude raping a child on their wedding night and you are most definitely to blame. Still, you beat The Bachelor in ratings. Thirty-four gimmick weddings trounce one.

Macklemore Loves Jerking It In Airplane Bathrooms

By Steve G. March 20, 2013 @ 3:16 PM

This is the final frontier of celebrity gossip retardation.

The “Thrift Shop” rapper was on his way to catch a flight at LAX last night when we asked if he’d ever thrown a mid-flight bone … something that’s become harder than ever to pull off these days.
I’ve jacked off in a lot of airplanes [in the bathroom], but I don’t think that counts as the mile-high club.

This reminds of the time my friend told a group of us when he jerks off he’s sometimes too lazy to clean himself off afterwards. He thought we would all agree with him, but he was surely mistaken. Which brings me to my question, how do they do it? How do people silence that little voice in their head that says…think?  I guess this isn’t all bad  You do have to kind of respect the zero fucks given with this quote. Ups his street cred. Plus, it’s just jerking. We all do it. Not in public places like an ape mind you, but everyone does it. So…Jerk on, I guess. I like your music?