When Madonna fell off her horse during a riding session in New York four days ago, her publicist Liz Rosenberg does what she always does and blamed everyone else.  The Daily Mail says…

Her spokesperson Liz Rosenberg claimed the horse was 'startled by paparazzi jumping out of the bushes'.

Makes is sound so dramatic.  Like Madonna was peacefully enjoying the woods, floatin around like a little angel, and the pap's jumped from their hiding spot yelling "booga booga booga".  But another, more accurate way to look at it, is that the paparazzi had nothing to do with it and weren't near her in any way and she fell because she’s 900 years old and old people can't judge depth or distance. 

However, a police report said the singer did not report the supposed involvement of a photographer.
Sgt Herbert Johnson of Southampton Village Police Department (said): 'There is no mention of photographers. It's a matter of spin control that went out of control.
'If they felt there was something else, they would have written "paparazzi" in the form – if they felt there was a problem.'

This wobbly old hag better drink some milk and be glad she’s still alive.  She must have landed in a pile of pillows because normally someone that old would have exploded into a cloud of dust.

Even though the government there told her to F off last week when she tried to adopt a little girl, Madonna is said to be building a home in the African nation of Malawi.  The Sun says…

(She) has instructed her architects to draw up plans for a home in the African country, as she believes adopted son David would benefit from a connection to his birthplace.
“Madonna has a big, beautiful plot of land over there already. She’s planning to build a girl’s school in the Chinkhota village and those designs are well under way.  But she’s gone back to the designers and asked if they could accommodate a family home on the plot or on adjacent land.”

Oh what the fuck ever Madonna.  Here’s the answer: No.  No, David would not benefit from a connection to his birthplace, because his birthplace is a jungle of monkey attacks, genocide and science-fiction type plagues.  What the hell is he supposed to learn from that, heart pounding fear?