Madonna is a mean bitch, part 2

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 5:20 PM

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It would be easy to say that Lady Gaga does little else than rip off what Madonna used to do, and it would be easy to say that because it’s true. Nonetheless, Gaga has never been anything but reverent toward Madonna and will tell anyone who listens that shes her idol.

Madonna however can’t stand anyone else getting any attention ever, so at the premiere of Madonas directorial debut last night (where she was boo’d by the way) someone in the crowd yelled “Who needs Lady Gaga? To which Madonna cuntily replied, ”Lady who?” (video here)

Anyway, these pictures are her on the red carpet for the premiere, and I love how she spends most of the time trying to hide her old-lady hands. Haha, sorry jackass but we all know what you’re doing. Or should I say, sorry ma’am, maybe a hot bowl of soup will bring some color to those cheeks.

Madonnas brother is homeless

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

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Considering she couldn’t even be bothered to build that school for kids in Africa that she promised, you might be wondering if Madonna is a mean, cold hearted, selfish bitch. Well wonder no more, because yes, she is.

Madonna’s older brother, Anthony Ciccone, says he’s living homeless in Michigan after his family “turned their back” on him.  
Ciccone tells the Michigan Messenger he’s been living on the streets of Traverse City after losing his job at his father’s winery more than a year ago. “My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” Ciccone said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times – why my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I’m homeless on the street? Never say never. This could happen to anybody.”

Speaking of Madonna, she and her sexy hands were at Heathrow airport in London this morning. With any luck this will be followed by one of those stories where a celebrity is a pain in the ass and gets throw off a plane. Even better if the plane is in mid air when they do it.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Madonna is mysterious

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 2:48 AM

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Madonna left a church in New York on Sunday with her head covered by a blanket. Oh gosh I wonder why.

Please note that her bodyguard had to stop her from going the wrong direction because, to reiterate, there was a fucking blanket over her head. I also like that she’s essentially using her daughter, whose eyes are also covered by the blanket, as a bumper. “I’ll just wander toward the sounds of traffic with my kid in front, and when she says ‘oww’ or get’s yanked to the right suddenly, I’ll know to stop.” Nice parenting, dick.

(image source = inf)

Madonna demands workers avoid eye contact, face the wall

By brendon September 13, 2011 @ 4:58 PM

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When you think of Madonna, you think of a simple girl from humble origins who understands how lucky she is to have made it.

I’m lying of course. She’s a mean old cunt who doesn’t even question the “fact” that she’s better than everyone else and only puts up with her fans and servants when she absolutely has to, meaning when she wants more of their money or needs them to fetch things.

Case in point: she made volunteers at the Toronto International Film Festival, who is showing her directorial debut, avoid eye contact and face the wall when she was in the room. The Globe and Mail says…

…eight of the volunteers were asked to turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference about the film. One volunteer told the Globe they all dutifully stood with their backs to her as she passed.

In Madonnas defense, she looks like this now. I would want people to look at the wall when I walked by too, and if you pulled out a camera I would fight you to the grave and wrestle it from your hand as if you were lunging at my baby with a dagger. But hey, it’s not 1988 anymore, if Madonna wants me to face the wall when she comes into a room, that’s not a problem. I will, gladly. I would have anyway so this actually makes things way less awkward. Thanks stupid!

(image source = getty)

Madonna is entitled to hate your measly gifts

By brendon September 07, 2011 @ 2:43 PM

As expected, Madonnas publicist has issued a statement about the video of Madonna being a mean ungrateful bitch after receiving some flowers from a fan.

As not expected, her explanation is that Madonna has every right to think that you and your gifts are beneath contempt.

“She’s entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn’t want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world. No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers.”

Good point. Because that was the issue everyone had. That she didn’t like hydrangeas. It wasn’t her cunty attitude, it was her preference in flowers. If that was her only issue I need to find out what her favorite poisonous snake is. It would be gauche of me to put a cobra in her bed when she prefers black mambas. I’d have made the faux paus of the season!

Madonna loathes hydrangeas

By brendon September 06, 2011 @ 3:50 PM

While on a panel at the Venice Film Festival this weekend, some reporter gave Madonna some flowers as a gift. But since they were hydrangeas, which she “loathes”, she rightfully put them on the floor and immediately made it clear what an asshole the reporter was for not knowing that. As the old saying goes, “it’s not the thought that counts, if you don’t read someones mind and give them a gift they love, fuck you.”