Madonna will play the Superbowl

By brendon December 05, 2011 @ 12:29 PM


NBC and the NFL announced last night that Madonna will perform during the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show, and if you think that part sounds like a horrible fit for an NFL game, wait until you read this one…

Madonna said she’s partnered with a creative team from Cirque du Soleil, choreographer Jamie King and multimedia artists from Moment Factory, “to create a signature performance for the Super Bowl’s Halftime Show, which will be broadcast worldwide.”

Football fans are always saying, why don’t NFL games have old ladies singing awful music and French Canadian jugglers dressed as a cheetah, so this halftime show makes a lot of sense.

(the pictures are madonna in an old dolce and gabanna ad, followed by the un-retouched originals. and oh how they were touched)

Madonna stole her new single

By brendon November 09, 2011 @ 2:32 PM

The first single from Madonnas next album leaked yesterday, and about 30 seconds after that Nicola Roberts fans were online pointing out that it sounds suspiciously like Roberts’ song, ‘Beat of My Drum’ (listen to that here).

Both songs feature cheerleader-style choruses with Madge’s track, which is produced by William Orbit, featuring the lyrics: ‘L-U-V Madona’.
While on Roberts’ song, which peaked at 27 when it was released earlier this year, the chorus goes: ‘L.O.V.E/ Dance to the beat of my drum/ Dance to the beat of my drum.’

I didn’t really listen to either one of these songs but Madonna is a mean old selfish bitch so if someone says she stole a song I totally believe them. Hell, they could tell me she was raising those African kids to harvest their organs later and I would believe them. In fact I bet if someone checked their blood type they would match Madonnas. What a coincidence.

(image source of madonna looking like an old timey bank robber 4 days ago at a kaballah center in new york = splash)

Madonna is a mean bitch, part 2

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 5:20 PM


It would be easy to say that Lady Gaga does little else than rip off what Madonna used to do, and it would be easy to say that because it’s true. Nonetheless, Gaga has never been anything but reverent toward Madonna and will tell anyone who listens that shes her idol.

Madonna however can’t stand anyone else getting any attention ever, so at the premiere of Madonas directorial debut last night (where she was boo’d by the way) someone in the crowd yelled “Who needs Lady Gaga? To which Madonna cuntily replied, ”Lady who?” (video here)

Anyway, these pictures are her on the red carpet for the premiere, and I love how she spends most of the time trying to hide her old-lady hands. Haha, sorry jackass but we all know what you’re doing. Or should I say, sorry ma’am, maybe a hot bowl of soup will bring some color to those cheeks.

Madonnas brother is homeless

By brendon October 24, 2011 @ 3:14 PM


Considering she couldn’t even be bothered to build that school for kids in Africa that she promised, you might be wondering if Madonna is a mean, cold hearted, selfish bitch. Well wonder no more, because yes, she is.

Madonna’s older brother, Anthony Ciccone, says he’s living homeless in Michigan after his family “turned their back” on him.  
Ciccone tells the Michigan Messenger he’s been living on the streets of Traverse City after losing his job at his father’s winery more than a year ago. “My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time,” Ciccone said. “You think I haven’t answered this kind of question a bazillion times – why my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I’m homeless on the street? Never say never. This could happen to anybody.”

Speaking of Madonna, she and her sexy hands were at Heathrow airport in London this morning. With any luck this will be followed by one of those stories where a celebrity is a pain in the ass and gets throw off a plane. Even better if the plane is in mid air when they do it.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Madonna is mysterious

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 2:48 AM


Madonna left a church in New York on Sunday with her head covered by a blanket. Oh gosh I wonder why.

Please note that her bodyguard had to stop her from going the wrong direction because, to reiterate, there was a fucking blanket over her head. I also like that she’s essentially using her daughter, whose eyes are also covered by the blanket, as a bumper. “I’ll just wander toward the sounds of traffic with my kid in front, and when she says ‘oww’ or get’s yanked to the right suddenly, I’ll know to stop.” Nice parenting, dick.

(image source = inf)

Madonna demands workers avoid eye contact, face the wall

By brendon September 13, 2011 @ 4:58 PM


When you think of Madonna, you think of a simple girl from humble origins who understands how lucky she is to have made it.

I’m lying of course. She’s a mean old cunt who doesn’t even question the “fact” that she’s better than everyone else and only puts up with her fans and servants when she absolutely has to, meaning when she wants more of their money or needs them to fetch things.

Case in point: she made volunteers at the Toronto International Film Festival, who is showing her directorial debut, avoid eye contact and face the wall when she was in the room. The Globe and Mail says…

…eight of the volunteers were asked to turn their faces to a wall so that they would not look at the pop-star-turned-movie-director as she made her way to her press conference about the film. One volunteer told the Globe they all dutifully stood with their backs to her as she passed.

In Madonnas defense, she looks like this now. I would want people to look at the wall when I walked by too, and if you pulled out a camera I would fight you to the grave and wrestle it from your hand as if you were lunging at my baby with a dagger. But hey, it’s not 1988 anymore, if Madonna wants me to face the wall when she comes into a room, that’s not a problem. I will, gladly. I would have anyway so this actually makes things way less awkward. Thanks stupid!

(image source = getty)