Madonna tours with an anti-aging machine. Which is totally working.

By brendon July 26, 2012 @ 1:40 PM


While in Paris today for her MDNA tour, someone working for Madonna carried a machine made by Intraceuticals to her hotel room. It claims to “hydrate, lift and tighten, and improve the appearance of the skin.” So I don’t know if they’re being sarcastic or what. Maybe Madonnas just using it wrong her because when she isn’t flexing her skin hangs off her like she doesn’t have any bones.

(image source = inf, wenn)

Madonna still pointing guns at the audience

By brendon July 23, 2012 @ 1:34 PM


If you go see Madonna during her MDNA tour, there’s at least two songs where she pretends to shoot the audience while the sound of gunfire rings out and shell casings and blood splatter across a giant LCD screen behind her.

Now, considering that scenario played out for real when 71 people were shot and 12 killed in Colorado on Friday, you might think she’d edit that out of her concert on Saturday. But you’d be wrong because Madonna is a cunt.

“Madonna would rather cancel her show than censor her art,” a member of her tour staff told HuffPost’s Rob Shuter. “Her entire career, she has fought against people telling her what she can and cannot do. She’s not about to start listening to them now.”

Oh but you can bet your ass she’ll “censor her art” on October 18th when her tour goes to Denver, because Madonna is only controversial when it’s completely safe to be that way. She has no real courage and never actually stands up to anyone. Not that I’m implying that Madonna fans don’t deserve to have guns pointed at them. Believe you me, I’m not making that argument in any way.

(image source = wenn)

Madonna flashed her boob

By brendon June 11, 2012 @ 10:50 AM


Madonna, who turns 54 this summer, took her MDNA tour to Istanbul over the weekend, and mistaking the crowds polite enthusiasm for geriatric lust, she ruthlessly flashed her tit at them. If pure morbid curiosity forces you to watch the NSFW video, it takes less than 30 seconds before you’re haunted by the anguished screams of the audience as they cry out in horror.

If you don’t have the gag reflex for that, I made some screencaps (also NSFW, starting here). See the nauseous look on her face in the headline? Well just open the pictures in front of a mirror if you’d like to see it again.

(image source = inf)

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Madonna is still a hypocritical bitch

By brendon June 01, 2012 @ 11:29 AM

Madonna kicked off her MDNA tour in Tel Aviv last night, and even though she’s now 53 years old, she’s still at the top of her game. And by that I mean she’s a simple-minded cunt with no equal, and she stopped the show to lecture the crowd about respecting other religions and peace in the Middle East.

Which might not have been so bad except that Madonna still does all of her typical shit, so the night is filled with wild swings of hypocrisy that she doesn’t even think twice about.

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Madonnas MDNA tour brought back cone bra, manly arms

By brendon May 31, 2012 @ 1:37 PM


Madonnas much talked about and much delayed ‘MDNA’ tour kicked off tonight in Tel Aviv, and apparently the big news is that when she sings ‘Vogue’, she wears a new version of the cone bra she wore during her 1990 ‘Blonde Ambition’ tour.

What a thrill it will be for her fans to be reminded of the old cone bra when they see the new cone bra. I hope no one literally dies from the excitement.

(image source = wenn, getty)

Madonnas disastrous ‘MDNA’ now just $5 on Amazon

By brendon April 12, 2012 @ 7:25 PM


Madonnas ‘MDNA’ was only released a week ago, and yet last night Amazon dropped the price to just $5. For the entire album. And they didn’t do it to be nice. They had to, because as you may have heard, no one is buying this piece of shit.

Forbes says…

Madonna’s “MDNA” album is dead. It’s really quite amazing. has dropped the price of downloading “MDNA” to five dollars. On iTunes, the only version of the album on the chart is the explicit one, selling for $14.99. It’s at number 49 on their chart.
The situation is much worse. As a physical CD, “MDNA” is just gone. (Updated) The actual deluxe CD, has fallen to number 16. It’s the only one of the many versions of “MDNA” that’s selling at all. This is the second week of release. The clean version download — for $5 — is at #733. The dirty one, so to speak, is around 500. “MDNA” is just…gone. It’s a total sales collapse.

This really is delightful because Madonna is a complete bitch who’s only talent is to leach off the actual talent of others. The only way I’d spend $5 dollars on Madonna would be if I was buying a roll of quarters before I punched her.