Victor Cruz turned down Madonna at the Super Bowl

By brendon February 24, 2012 @ 5:12 PM


Madonna became famous when she released her debut album in 1983. She was 23 at the time. New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz was -3 at the time.

This, along with the fact that she’s a mean bitch, might be a clue to explain why Cruz turned Madonna down, twice, when she tried to arrange a meeting; first at the Super Bowl and then again at a party a few days later.

Gosh, I wonder if a rep for Madonna will try to spin this.

A rep for the singer insists Madonna was only trying to connect with him for professional reasons.
“(Madonna) needed footage of him doing his salsa dance. She wanted to try it at a press conference.”

Oh well of course. That makes perfect sense. Because the best way to get footage of him doing his touchdown dance would be to ask him personally. He probably carries around a highlight DVD just in case someone needs one. And his version is so unique and elaborate, he’s the only who could ever explain it. It’s as though I’m transported to a 1940′s Cuban nightclub every time I see it.

Madonna is disappointed in M.I.A, todays young people

By brendon February 10, 2012 @ 3:55 PM


Madonna was on Ryan Seacrests radio show this morning, and even though her entire career is based on being a “scandalous” attention whore, she thinks it’s juvenile and desperate when other people do the very same thing.

Madonna says her Super Bowl experience was filled with “warmth, love, and support,” but when it came to M.I.A.‘s digit malfunction, (she) was not happy.
“I wasn’t happy about it. I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity — it seemed negative. It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do.”

That’s right Madonna. What M.I.A. does is “punk rock”, and flipping off a crowd is a “teenager” thing. After that Madonna told Ryan about the time she caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. “I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”

(source = getty and access hollywood)

M.I.A. ruined the Super Bowl, nations innocence

By brendon February 06, 2012 @ 10:54 AM

What began as a wholesome night of watching the worlds most powerful athletes try to cripple each other for personal glory and money turned into something tawdry and lewd during Madonnas halftime show when M.I.A. flipped off the camera.

The NFL and NBC both apologized, but by then I was already hiding in my bathtub, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth and crying. I don’t even know who won the game.

“The obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans,” said Brian McCarthy, spokesman for the NFL, according to the Associated Press.
The action eluded the NBC censors by less than a second, as viewers at home clearly saw M.I.A.’s middle finger raised, followed by a brief blurring of part of the stage.
“Our system was late to obscure the inappropriate gesture and we apologize to our viewers,” NBC spokesman Christopher McCloskey told the AP.

I did see that Madonna ended her performance by having “world peace” spelled out in lights. Madonna doesn’t care who’s toes she steps on, she’s so edgy! Take that, People Against World Peace!

Madonna is a simple midwest girl, football player

By brendon February 03, 2012 @ 4:52 PM


Apparently we’re really doing this and Madonna, who is 53 and only liked by middle aged women and drag queens, will be performing at the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Yesterday she met with the media to talk about the show, then danced around for reasons that were probably even more annoying in person than they are in pictures, and explained that she’s actually just a simple girl from the heartland. And also a football player.

She told reporters at a press conference in Indianapolis, “This is a Midwesterner girl’s dream.”
One minor setback? A strained hamstring. But the 53-year-old insists she’s as battle-ready as any player on the Patriots or the Giants thanks to “lots of warm-ups and taping and ultrasound.”
“I feel like one of the football players now,” she said. “Mind over matter.”

Holy shit! If she feels like one of the football players, that means one of the football players feels like a frail old lady. But which one? Which team is he on? I HAVE MONEY ON THIS GAME!

Madonna deserves all your money

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 2:09 PM


Furry old lady Madonna is a mean, self-centered cunt with no actual talent other than knowing which producers to hire to make her records for her, and if you needed some reminders about that, here they are.

On Lady Gagas song ‘Born This Way,’ which many say sounds like Madonna’s 1989 hit ‘Express Yourself.’

“Of course I heard it. How could I not? I think it was on the radio a few times. I thought, ‘This is a wonderful way to redo my song.’ I recognized the chord changes, I thought it was … interesting.”

And when asked if it’s reasonable to charge hundreds of dollars for tickets to her new tour during a recession:

“Start saving your pennies now,” she says, sounding annoyed that any-one would suggest these prices are prohibitive. “People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I’m worth it.”

Oh she sure is. What a treat it would be to see an old lady in a boa shuffle around the stage lip synching pop songs from the 80’s. It’ll be like a talent show in a nursing home, and who doesn’t love those?

(image source of madonna at the london premiere of ‘w.e.’ = wenn)

BREAKING NEWS: Madonna is a narcissistic cunt

By brendon January 16, 2012 @ 4:46 PM

Madonna beat out Elton John to win the Golden Globe for Best Original Song last night, and, naturally, she used her acceptance speech as a chance to thank herself for being so wonderful. She spoke for less than 2 minutes, and 26 of the 204 words she used were some version of “I” or “me”.

0 of the words she used were some version of “we” or “our”.

This did not go unnoticed by the crowd who sat in silence every time she tried to be cute, or by Elton Johns husband David Furnish, who went on his Facebook and wrote:

“Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!”
“Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism.”

But it was all worth it to hear Madonna tell the crazy story about how the song got made. First someone suggested she do it, and then she did it. What a wild ride! Only in Hollywood, you guys!

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