Madonnas much talked about and much delayed ‘MDNA’ tour kicked off tonight in Tel Aviv, and apparently the big news is that when she sings ‘Vogue’, she wears a new version of the cone bra she wore during her 1990 ‘Blonde Ambition’ tour.
What a thrill it will be for her fans to be reminded of the old cone bra when they see the new cone bra. I hope no one literally dies from the excitement.
Madonnas ‘MDNA’ was only released a week ago, and yet last night Amazon dropped the price to just $5. For the entire album. And they didn’t do it to be nice. They had to, because as you may have heard, no one is buying this piece of shit.
Madonna’s “MDNA” album is dead. It’s really quite amazing. Amazon.com has dropped the price of downloading “MDNA” to five dollars. On iTunes, the only version of the album on the chart is the explicit one, selling for $14.99. It’s at number 49 on their chart.
The amazon.com situation is much worse. As a physical CD, “MDNA” is just gone. (Updated) The actual deluxe CD, has fallen to number 16. It’s the only one of the many versions of “MDNA” that’s selling at all. This is the second week of release. The clean version download — for $5 — is at #733. The dirty one, so to speak, is around 500. “MDNA” is just…gone. It’s a total sales collapse.
This really is delightful because Madonna is a complete bitch who’s only talent is to leach off the actual talent of others. The only way I’d spend $5 dollars on Madonna would be if I was buying a roll of quarters before I punched her.
Last week Madonna used a secret weapon to push her new album all the way to number 1 on the Billboard 200. Meaning she gave it away for free to everyone who bought tickets to her tour and for some reason Billboard counted that.
She couldn’t do it again this week though, and so now she’s set the all-time record for the biggest second week drop in chart history. Forbes.com says…
When all the numbers are in on Tuesday night, “MDNA” will have fallen from number 1 by 88% … from 359,000 copies in its first week to roughly 46,000 the second week.
I still don’t get how getting a free Madonna CD is some kind of enticement to buying a Madonna concert ticket. That would be like catching an STD from your rapist. It’s two awful things instead of just one. The only thing worse than going to a concert with the Cool Mom who thinks she can hang out with her teenage daughter is if the Cool Mom is the one actually on stage.
Yesterday Deadmau5 went on Facebook and called Madonna a “fucking idiot” for promoting the use of ecstasy, then implied that she’s a irrelevant has-been who just parrots what everyone else says and does so people today will still think she’s “cool”.
But clearly that’s not the case, so she went on twitter to post black and white picture of her that was taken in 1987. It says…
“From one mouse to another I dont support drug use and i never have. I was referring to the song called “Have You Seen Molly” written by my friend Cedric Gervais who I almost worked with on my album.”
Stuff like this is why Madonna can go fuck herself. Because she expects us to believe that she wasn’t referring to ecstasy, but just randomly asked about a song, that has nothing to do with her, and by sheer coincidence the word “molly” is slang for ecstasy. Also a coincidence: her new album is named “MDNA”, and “MDMA” is the proper name for ecstasy. But she’s not pretending to be some cool club kid. No way. Not her. Just like the bottle I’m gonna throw in her direction. Will it her in the face? Who knows, there’s no order in life, it’s all up to the hand of fate!
Madonna introduced Avicii at Miami’s Ultra Music Festival Saturday night, and in an effort to reach out and connect with todays young people, she asked how many people in the crowd have seen “molly”, an abbreviation of “molecular”, slang for pure ecstasy.
Deadmau5 apparently hadn’t seen molly, because he went on facebook and wrote:
“That’s your big contribution to EDM? Thats your big message to ultra attendies? hipsterspeak for looking for drugs? fuck off you fucking IDIOT.”
“very classy there madonna. ‘HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???’ such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. quite the f’n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! fucking cant smack my head hard enough right now.”
Yeah, Deadmau5 has it all wrong. When someone Madonnas age wears fishnets and wanders up to strangers asking if they’ve seen someone, it’s because they’re very cool. Or that she hasn’t taken her dementia medication and is lost. Either way it’s rude for him to yell at them.
Madonna became famous when she released her debut album in 1983. She was 23 at the time. New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz was -3 at the time.
This, along with the fact that she’s a mean bitch, might be a clue to explain why Cruz turned Madonna down, twice, when she tried to arrange a meeting; first at the Super Bowl and then again at a party a few days later.
Gosh, I wonder if a rep for Madonna will try to spin this.
A rep for the singer insists Madonna was only trying to connect with him for professional reasons.
“(Madonna) needed footage of him doing his salsa dance. She wanted to try it at a press conference.”
Oh well of course. That makes perfect sense. Because the best way to get footage of him doing his touchdown dance would be to ask him personally. He probably carries around a highlight DVD just in case someone needs one. And his version is so unique and elaborate, he’s the only who could ever explain it. It’s as though I’m transported to a 1940′s Cuban nightclub every time I see it.