Way to ease the baby you bought into his new life, you hagged bitch. Way to think of what's best for him. Little man was back in his quiet African village two weeks ago, using tiger teeth for money, sure, but sleeping under an endless night sky and thinking white people only existed in terrifying legends. Turns out he was right. You might as well put a caveman on an airplane after this or hook up a maternity ward with a disco ball and laser light show. God this poor kid. For this little guy, a day at the mall in front of thousands of paparazzi is about as soothing as having an alarm clock that drops a crocodile on top of you.
Madonna went on Oprah Winfrey’s show yesterday and made it known she has no intention of returning her adopted baby even though it is now clear that the father - who is a poor illiterate farmer in Africa - did not understand what the adoption process really meant. Madonna was noticeably angry that people would have the nerve to be upset after she stole a baby. Celebrities - they’re just like us! Madonna says:
"I understand that gossip and telling negative stories sells newspapers. But I think for me, I'm disappointed because it discourages other people from doing the same thing—for anybody who had the idea that they, too, would like to open their home and give a life to a child living in an orphanage who might possibly not live past the age of 5. Anybody who had that idea would be discouraged from doing it. For me, that's what disappoints me the most. I feel like the media is doing a great disservice to all the orphans of Africa, period, not just Malawi, by turning it into such a negative thing."
I read that like 5 times, mostly because I can barely read, but also because it seems the bitch who stole someones kid is trying to take the moral high ground. You can't just make things up and then use that as the foundation of your argument. No one's saying people shouldn't adopt orphans, they're just saying that maybe it's uncool to bumrush a starving illiterate farmer and play on the love for his son so you can get some attention. Need proof?
She added that her new baby David had been tested for several diseases and did not appear to have HIV, even though his mother and siblings had contracted the virus.
If Madonna gave a damn about giving kids comfort and hope, she would have adopted a child who had none. She probably whips her butler as he runs her around the gardens in a rickshaw and thinks she's hero then too, because the whip is made of rope and not leather. And he did turn that corner kinda fast.
Oprah Winfrey will tape an interview with Madonna on Tuesday so Madonna can address the controversy surrounding her adopted baby boy. The show is set to air Wednesday. Here’s a preview: Madonna will lie in a fake accent, Oprah will call Madonna "girl" and the baby’s father will get no voice. Problem solved! Tomorrow: the worlds most romantic boyfriends!
Keith Urban, who married Nicole Kidman in June, has entered a rehab clinic to be treated for alcohol dependency. He said in a statement that he "deeply regrets the hurt this has caused Nicole". In a statement of her own, Nicole said, "I'm pale and boney, and people often think their house is haunted when I'm there."
Kevin Federline will slay that dragon named dignity and appear again on RAW tonight, following last weeks show when he was body slammed by WWE Champion John Cena. WWE.com says, "K-Fed was furious with Cena’s actions and the treatment he received during his visit. As a result, he has informed RAW that he will be in Johnny Nitro's corner for his match this Monday on RAW with Cena."
Madonna's controversial adoption of an African baby got even controversialier yesterday when the boys father said he never meant to give away permanent custody of his son. Yohane Banda, father of the 13-month-old David Banda, says he was never told that the adoption papers he signed meant that David would no longer legally be his son He says he was told David would be raised in London, away from the poverty and strife of Africa, and then be allowed to return home. Yohane is illiterate, a simple farmer in Malawi, and says he did not understand the process as it was explained. He says:
"If we were told she wants to take the baby as her own, we would not have consented, because I see no reason why I should give up my son. I am just now realizing the meaning of 'adoption,' "
It seems clear what Madonna has to do now: she has to kill Yohane and bury him in the desert. Maybe - MAYBE - she could have adopted an actual orphan, a child with no parents, but those were all dirty and didn't photograph well in the test shoots, so she stole David. And now Yohane is causing trouble. Jeez, these African parents. Stubborn stubborn stubborn.
Fox 411 takes a closer look today at the charitable organization set up by Madonna in the nation of Malawi, the African home of her newly adopted son. The expressed goal of 'Raising Malawi' is to help orphans in that country, but scratch the surface and it appears to be little more than a front for the Kabbalah Centre in Hollywood. Fox says:
It seems that the charity she’s set up in Malawi is just the infamous Kabbalah Centre of Hollywood under a different name. The listed founders of Raising Malawi are Michael and Monica Berg. (Michael is) the son of Philip Berg, founder of the Kabbalah Centre. (Michael Berg) “is committed to providing psychosocial relief through the Spirituality for Kids curriculum.” (Spirituality for Kids) is essentially Kabbalah for children, a group that Madonna endorses. Raising Malawi is run entirely by Spirituality for Kids, or Kabbalah …
Guy Richie always seemed kind of cool but how cool can he really be if his wife is running around doing crap like this. It seems clear who’s in charge of that relationship. He better be careful, I think he can get pregnant when she uses a strap-on.
Madonna now says she want to adopt another child, this time a three-year-old girl, from the same village that her newly adopted son came from. The Mirror UK says:
Madonna, 48, told relatives: "I saw this girl with the saddest smile. I told Guy 'We must give this child a home too'." Jubilant at (her new sons) arrival, she said: "It was my wish to help one child escape an extreme life of hardship."
Jesus Madonna, they're not kittens. You can't just drown one of these after you're tired of it. And is life with Madonna really that much better. Granted, life in London will have fewer pterodactyl attacks and haunted jungles, but in the village she wouldn't ever stumble onto "mom" dangling from a noose in a leather mask with a zipper where the mouth should be.
