Yesterday Deadmau5 went on Facebook and called Madonna a “fucking idiot” for promoting the use of ecstasy, then implied that she’s a irrelevant has-been who just parrots what everyone else says and does so people today will still think she’s “cool”.
But clearly that’s not the case, so she went on twitter to post black and white picture of her that was taken in 1987. It says…
“From one mouse to another I dont support drug use and i never have. I was referring to the song called “Have You Seen Molly” written by my friend Cedric Gervais who I almost worked with on my album.”
Stuff like this is why Madonna can go fuck herself. Because she expects us to believe that she wasn’t referring to ecstasy, but just randomly asked about a song, that has nothing to do with her, and by sheer coincidence the word “molly” is slang for ecstasy. Also a coincidence: her new album is named “MDNA”, and “MDMA” is the proper name for ecstasy. But she’s not pretending to be some cool club kid. No way. Not her. Just like the bottle I’m gonna throw in her direction. Will it her in the face? Who knows, there’s no order in life, it’s all up to the hand of fate!
Madonna introduced Avicii at Miami’s Ultra Music Festival Saturday night, and in an effort to reach out and connect with todays young people, she asked how many people in the crowd have seen “molly”, an abbreviation of “molecular”, slang for pure ecstasy.
Deadmau5 apparently hadn’t seen molly, because he went on facebook and wrote:
“That’s your big contribution to EDM? Thats your big message to ultra attendies? hipsterspeak for looking for drugs? fuck off you fucking IDIOT.”
“very classy there madonna. ‘HUR DUR HAS ANYONE SEEN MOLLY???’ such a great message for the young music lovers at ultra. quite the f’n philanthropist. but hey, at least yer HIP AND TRENDY! fucking cant smack my head hard enough right now.”
Yeah, Deadmau5 has it all wrong. When someone Madonnas age wears fishnets and wanders up to strangers asking if they’ve seen someone, it’s because they’re very cool. Or that she hasn’t taken her dementia medication and is lost. Either way it’s rude for him to yell at them.
Madonna became famous when she released her debut album in 1983. She was 23 at the time. New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz was -3 at the time.
This, along with the fact that she’s a mean bitch, might be a clue to explain why Cruz turned Madonna down, twice, when she tried to arrange a meeting; first at the Super Bowl and then again at a party a few days later.
Gosh, I wonder if a rep for Madonna will try to spin this.
A rep for the singer insists Madonna was only trying to connect with him for professional reasons.
“(Madonna) needed footage of him doing his salsa dance. She wanted to try it at a press conference.”
Oh well of course. That makes perfect sense. Because the best way to get footage of him doing his touchdown dance would be to ask him personally. He probably carries around a highlight DVD just in case someone needs one. And his version is so unique and elaborate, he’s the only who could ever explain it. It’s as though I’m transported to a 1940′s Cuban nightclub every time I see it.
Madonna was on Ryan Seacrests radio show this morning, and even though her entire career is based on being a “scandalous” attention whore, she thinks it’s juvenile and desperate when other people do the very same thing.
Madonna says her Super Bowl experience was filled with “warmth, love, and support,” but when it came to M.I.A.‘s digit malfunction, (she) was not happy.
“I wasn’t happy about it. I understand it’s punk rock and everything, but to me there was such a feeling of love and good energy, and positivity — it seemed negative. It’s such a teenager…irrelevant thing to do.”
That’s right Madonna. What M.I.A. does is “punk rock”, and flipping off a crowd is a “teenager” thing. After that Madonna told Ryan about the time she caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. “I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”
What began as a wholesome night of watching the worlds most powerful athletes try to cripple each other for personal glory and money turned into something tawdry and lewd during Madonnas halftime show when M.I.A. flipped off the camera.
The NFL and NBC both apologized, but by then I was already hiding in my bathtub, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth and crying. I don’t even know who won the game.
“The obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans,” said Brian McCarthy, spokesman for the NFL, according to the Associated Press.
The action eluded the NBC censors by less than a second, as viewers at home clearly saw M.I.A.’s middle finger raised, followed by a brief blurring of part of the stage.
“Our system was late to obscure the inappropriate gesture and we apologize to our viewers,” NBC spokesman Christopher McCloskey told the AP.
I did see that Madonna ended her performance by having “world peace” spelled out in lights. Madonna doesn’t care who’s toes she steps on, she’s so edgy! Take that, People Against World Peace!
Apparently we’re really doing this and Madonna, who is 53 and only liked by middle aged women and drag queens, will be performing at the Super Bowl on Sunday.
Yesterday she met with the media to talk about the show, then danced around for reasons that were probably even more annoying in person than they are in pictures, and explained that she’s actually just a simple girl from the heartland. And also a football player.
She told reporters at a press conference in Indianapolis, “This is a Midwesterner girl’s dream.”
One minor setback? A strained hamstring. But the 53-year-old insists she’s as battle-ready as any player on the Patriots or the Giants thanks to “lots of warm-ups and taping and ultrasound.”
“I feel like one of the football players now,” she said. “Mind over matter.”
Holy shit! If she feels like one of the football players, that means one of the football players feels like a frail old lady. But which one? Which team is he on? I HAVE MONEY ON THIS GAME!