M.I.A. ruined the Super Bowl, nations innocence

By brendon February 06, 2012 @ 10:54 AM

What began as a wholesome night of watching the worlds most powerful athletes try to cripple each other for personal glory and money turned into something tawdry and lewd during Madonnas halftime show when M.I.A. flipped off the camera.

The NFL and NBC both apologized, but by then I was already hiding in my bathtub, hugging my knees, rocking back and forth and crying. I don’t even know who won the game.

“The obscene gesture in the performance was completely inappropriate, very disappointing and we apologize to our fans,” said Brian McCarthy, spokesman for the NFL, according to the Associated Press.
The action eluded the NBC censors by less than a second, as viewers at home clearly saw M.I.A.’s middle finger raised, followed by a brief blurring of part of the stage.
“Our system was late to obscure the inappropriate gesture and we apologize to our viewers,” NBC spokesman Christopher McCloskey told the AP.

I did see that Madonna ended her performance by having “world peace” spelled out in lights. Madonna doesn’t care who’s toes she steps on, she’s so edgy! Take that, People Against World Peace!

Madonna is a simple midwest girl, football player

By brendon February 03, 2012 @ 4:52 PM

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Apparently we’re really doing this and Madonna, who is 53 and only liked by middle aged women and drag queens, will be performing at the Super Bowl on Sunday.

Yesterday she met with the media to talk about the show, then danced around for reasons that were probably even more annoying in person than they are in pictures, and explained that she’s actually just a simple girl from the heartland. And also a football player.

She told reporters at a press conference in Indianapolis, “This is a Midwesterner girl’s dream.”
One minor setback? A strained hamstring. But the 53-year-old insists she’s as battle-ready as any player on the Patriots or the Giants thanks to “lots of warm-ups and taping and ultrasound.”
“I feel like one of the football players now,” she said. “Mind over matter.”

Holy shit! If she feels like one of the football players, that means one of the football players feels like a frail old lady. But which one? Which team is he on? I HAVE MONEY ON THIS GAME!

Madonna deserves all your money

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 2:09 PM

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Furry old lady Madonna is a mean, self-centered cunt with no actual talent other than knowing which producers to hire to make her records for her, and if you needed some reminders about that, here they are.

On Lady Gagas song ‘Born This Way,’ which many say sounds like Madonna’s 1989 hit ‘Express Yourself.’

“Of course I heard it. How could I not? I think it was on the radio a few times. I thought, ‘This is a wonderful way to redo my song.’ I recognized the chord changes, I thought it was … interesting.”

And when asked if it’s reasonable to charge hundreds of dollars for tickets to her new tour during a recession:

“Start saving your pennies now,” she says, sounding annoyed that any-one would suggest these prices are prohibitive. “People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags. So work all year, scrape the money together, and come to my show. I’m worth it.”

Oh she sure is. What a treat it would be to see an old lady in a boa shuffle around the stage lip synching pop songs from the 80’s. It’ll be like a talent show in a nursing home, and who doesn’t love those?

(image source of madonna at the london premiere of ‘w.e.’ = wenn)

BREAKING NEWS: Madonna is a narcissistic cunt

By brendon January 16, 2012 @ 4:46 PM








Madonna beat out Elton John to win the Golden Globe for Best Original Song last night, and, naturally, she used her acceptance speech as a chance to thank herself for being so wonderful. She spoke for less than 2 minutes, and 26 of the 204 words she used were some version of “I” or “me”.

0 of the words she used were some version of “we” or “our”.

This did not go unnoticed by the crowd who sat in silence every time she tried to be cute, or by Elton Johns husband David Furnish, who went on his Facebook and wrote:

“Madonna. Best song???? F**k off!!!”
“Madonna winning Best Original Song truly shows how these awards have nothing to do with merit. Her acceptance speech was embarrassing in its narcissism.”

But it was all worth it to hear Madonna tell the crazy story about how the song got made. First someone suggested she do it, and then she did it. What a wild ride! Only in Hollywood, you guys!

Read more >

Madonna will play the Superbowl

By brendon December 05, 2011 @ 12:29 PM

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NBC and the NFL announced last night that Madonna will perform during the Super Bowl XLVI halftime show, and if you think that part sounds like a horrible fit for an NFL game, wait until you read this one…

Madonna said she’s partnered with a creative team from Cirque du Soleil, choreographer Jamie King and multimedia artists from Moment Factory, “to create a signature performance for the Super Bowl’s Halftime Show, which will be broadcast worldwide.”

Football fans are always saying, why don’t NFL games have old ladies singing awful music and French Canadian jugglers dressed as a cheetah, so this halftime show makes a lot of sense.

(the pictures are madonna in an old dolce and gabanna ad, followed by the un-retouched originals. and oh how they were touched)

Madonna stole her new single

By brendon November 09, 2011 @ 2:32 PM








The first single from Madonnas next album leaked yesterday, and about 30 seconds after that Nicola Roberts fans were online pointing out that it sounds suspiciously like Roberts’ song, ‘Beat of My Drum’ (listen to that here).

Both songs feature cheerleader-style choruses with Madge’s track, which is produced by William Orbit, featuring the lyrics: ‘L-U-V Madona’.
While on Roberts’ song, which peaked at 27 when it was released earlier this year, the chorus goes: ‘L.O.V.E/ Dance to the beat of my drum/ Dance to the beat of my drum.’

I didn’t really listen to either one of these songs but Madonna is a mean old selfish bitch so if someone says she stole a song I totally believe them. Hell, they could tell me she was raising those African kids to harvest their organs later and I would believe them. In fact I bet if someone checked their blood type they would match Madonnas. What a coincidence.

(image source of madonna looking like an old timey bank robber 4 days ago at a kaballah center in new york = splash)