Maitland Ward And Elle Alexandra Kiss

By Lex January 16, 2015 @ 2:34 PM

Maitland Ward And Elle Alexandra Celebrate International Kiss A Ginger Day
Two girls tickling each other’s vaginas with feathers will never be wrong. I don’t care if that Charlie Hebdo terrorist fugitive chick started tonguing Joan Rivers’ cadaver, I’d watch and throw in some cash. It starts at high school parties watching¬†girls with poor self-esteem being prodded to make out. It quickly escalates to¬†Jenna Haze banging her onscreen horny roommate with a strap-on. Watching sex without having to see another dude’s sweaty junk. It’s inherently beautiful. Go on about your business, girls. Mom and me will be in the other room listening to our disco records.

Photo Credit: Splash

Maitland Ward Figures Out Shopping

By Lex January 02, 2015 @ 6:19 AM

Maitland Ward Tries On New Years Eve Dresses
I like that this chick tried on a bunch of New Year’s Eve dresses solely to see which best highlighted her spectacular boobs. Women have a thousand different bits of jargon to describe how perfect a certain dress is, but it always boils down to, does this dress make my tits look amazing. Once you get past the pretense, you can cut your shopping time by an easy ninety percent. Will the men be cranking their necks to check out my rack? Yes, no, no, yes, no, no, no, yes. I’ll take these three, please.

Photo Credit: INF

Maitland Ward Works Hard

By Lex December 01, 2014 @ 11:26 AM

Maitland Ward Wears A Pink Low Cut Dress While Eating Ice Cream At The Grove
I really like this Maitland Ward chick. Her job seems to consist of slipping into low cut dresses and licking things in public places. That could describe many illicit occupations, but in Hollywood it’s an actual real job. All these girls show up at some warehouse each Thursday where a dude with gold caps climbs out of a rented Mercedes and shows everybody his W-2 from 2009 and how they can be rich like him someday. It’s all in the licking.

Photo Credit: INF

Maitland Ward Seems Smarter Than Most

By Lex November 11, 2014 @ 11:07 AM

Maitland Ward Strips Down To Nothing For Descent Into The Malestrom Photoshoot
This former kid TV actress wasn’t getting much work so she decided to just go everywhere nerds go and show off her big boobs. It would sound simply moronic if it wasn’t working perfectly. And proving once again that a woman with large tits will never go hungry.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Maitland Ward Is Red Sonja of Long Beach

By Lex September 30, 2014 @ 9:58 AM

Maitland Ward Is Red Sonja At Long Beach Comic Con
Somebody leaked the enormous gate receipts at San Diego Comic-Con a few years back and about five minutes later every city with a convention center that could hold 1,001 nerds opened their own Comic-Con. Why the fuck not. Adult male fanboys spend cash like girls at the mall with their parents CCV codes. You put some cosplay tits in their face and they will cash out their Radio Shack 401(k)’s. These comic book conventions have created an entirely new job function for big topped did a show once actresses like Maitland Ward who are still willing to dress up like Red Sonja to make man-boys experience diurnal emissions. Unlike most comic books, the conventions usually have a happy ending. That’s a euphemism for Maitland Ward having to shower with bleach while repressing memories of continuous sticky pawed assaults on or near her tits and ass.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Maitland Ward Works Out Well

By Lex September 18, 2014 @ 12:20 PM

Maitland Ward Shows Her Nips While Working Out
I’m assuming this chick who was once on Boy Meets World knows she’s being photographed working out. It’s not so much the elaborate stretches in a sunlit courtyard so much as the wet braless tank top thing. You only see that in gym scenes in porn. Working out on this elliptical in some guys carpeted bedroom makes me want to have sex on a stage set decorated with one fake bench and locker as well. I don’t mind a ruse when it’s backed by large pre-moistened breasts. I’m all in.

Photo Credit: Splash