Maitland Ward Is Red Sonja of Long Beach

By Lex September 30, 2014 @ 9:58 AM

Maitland Ward Is Red Sonja At Long Beach Comic Con
Somebody leaked the enormous gate receipts at San Diego Comic-Con a few years back and about five minutes later every city with a convention center that could hold 1,001 nerds opened their own Comic-Con. Why the fuck not. Adult male fanboys spend cash like girls at the mall with their parents CCV codes. You put some cosplay tits in their face and they will cash out their Radio Shack 401(k)’s. These comic book conventions have created an entirely new job function for big topped did a show once actresses like Maitland Ward who are still willing to dress up like Red Sonja to make man-boys experience diurnal emissions. Unlike most comic books, the conventions usually have a happy ending. That’s a euphemism for Maitland Ward having to shower with bleach while repressing memories of continuous sticky pawed assaults on or near her tits and ass.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Maitland Ward Works Out Well

By Lex September 18, 2014 @ 12:20 PM

Maitland Ward Shows Her Nips While Working Out
I’m assuming this chick who was once on Boy Meets World knows she’s being photographed working out. It’s not so much the elaborate stretches in a sunlit courtyard so much as the wet braless tank top thing. You only see that in gym scenes in porn. Working out on this elliptical in some guys carpeted bedroom makes me want to have sex on a stage set decorated with one fake bench and locker as well. I don’t mind a ruse when it’s backed by large pre-moistened breasts. I’m all in.

Photo Credit: Splash

Maitland Ward Virtually Undressed By Super Nerds

By Lex June 02, 2014 @ 2:30 PM

Maitland Ward In A Princess Leia Gold Bikini At The Long Beach Comic Expo
Everybody and their mother is having a Comic convention of some kind these days. It’s a great way to prove the theory that money travels from the stupid to the smart and eventually to the good looking Ukrainian model the smart is boning. These expos serve as an opportunity to give five bucks a signature to the original comic book artists who got fucked in their original deals and now live almost entirely off Campbell’s chunky soups. It also serves as a make-work program for D-list actresses to dress up in showy costumes for a ten thousand nerd strong virtual bukkake session. I can only imagine the feeling of raw power knowing an army of virgins has placed you second to the half-dragon lady one booth over in terms of whose cloacal sac they’d like to violate after lifting their replica chainmail. Still, any excuse to get to Long Beach.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

Little Rachel McGuire Is All Grown Up

By Travis April 17, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

The only thing that bullshit nostalgia is ever really good for is lining a studio’s or network’s pockets once the public starts acting like some old TV show was greater than it actually was. Case in point, Boy Meets World is getting a new spinoff series called Girl Meets World, because those kids weren’t terrible enough actors back in the 90s, and we should bring them back now as really terrible adult actors. However, Maitland Ward is starting to give me a change of heart about this negativity, as the actress who played Rachel McGuire on the original series attended last night’s premiere of A Haunted House 2 in Los Angeles. I’d watch Girl Meets World if it’s a show about Maitland wearing this dress with no bra or underwear as she travels the globe, twirling her hula hoop. That has to be good enough for at least three seasons before she turns 40 and I lose interest again.

Photo Credits: Getty

Maitland Ward In A Bikini Playing With A Hula Hoop

By Lex June 20, 2013 @ 3:22 PM

Maitland Ward In A Bikini Playing With A Hoola Hoop On The Beach In Los Angeles
Sometimes I wonder if girls on fairly innocent teen TV shows know that a million and one men out there are secretly tugging their dongs to them. But then I realize I’m thinking about a million and one men’s dongs and I start thinking about the NBA and how much I like girls just to get my compass straight. I knew a girl who worked on one of those TV shows once. She tried to hand me a fan letter she got but I refused to touch it. Because when not thinking about sports and girls, I thought about who was touching it before it went into the mailbox.

Here’s Maitland Ward from Boy Meets World spinning in a hula hoop. In a more perfect world, girls with big tits would be legally mandated to hula hoop in public.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN