Heidi Klum And Malin Akerman Love The People

By Travis January 09, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

The People’s Choice Awards aired live from Los Angeles last night on CBS, which must have been so exciting for the simple-minded folk who think that casting votes for celebrities somehow bridges the gap between the elite and their fans. The big winners of the night were Heidi Klum and Malin Akerman, who were both nominated for Favorite Pair of Partially Exposed Breasts, and wouldn’t you know it? They tied!

But for a complete list of the evening’s winners, be sure to ask your recently-divorced aunt or the unemployed hoarder who lives next door to you, because they’re the only people on Earth who would know.

Photo Credits: Apega/WENN.com

Malin Akerman Was A Dirty Active Teenage Traveler

By Jack October 09, 2013 @ 3:34 PM

Malin Akerman described her slutty teenage years to pasted-together talk show host Chelsea Handler. In the soon to be cancelled show, The Trophy Wife, Akerman plays…well…the trophy wife of an older dude. So, Handler asked her if she’d ever slept with an older guy. She then told the sordid tale of having an affair with an aromatic 28-year-old Frenchie when she was just 16. When Handler pointed out that fucking a girl who is just old enough to drive is illegal she said,

“This was in France. … His name was Fabio, so that’s awesome. I vacationed a lot in European countries where there are no rules — drink at any age, have sex at any age, obviously.

I’m pretty sure there are age of consent laws in most countries, even in socially enlightened France. Then Handler said that she heard that Akerman didn’t shower for a month after getting fucked three ways from Sunday by this greasy Frog. Akerman added,

“Who has time? We do a European shower. You wash the parts that need to be washed because you kind of have to.”

I guess that works in France, where the concept of a daily shower seems as foreign as being polite to strangers. As for me, I almost don’t care how hot you are, I’m expecting basic hygiene. Malin Akerman is close. Still, when you come off looking less clean than Chelsea Handler, that’s a feminine issue that needs some addressing.

malin akerman seems cool

By brendon October 29, 2009 @ 5:10 PM

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‘Watchmen’ star Malin Akerman was in Stockholm, Sweden last night for the premiere of ‘Couples Retreat’, but her movie wasn’t the only thing making it’s public debut, if you catch my drift!

NOTE – in the last part, I was referring to her vagina.

(image source – fame pictures)

this is more like it

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 12:46 PM

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Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman walked the red carpet last night for the premiere of ‘Couples Retreat’, which is good news for me because I’ve had a crush on Kristen ever since ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’. It might be time to make my move. I finally have a plan in place to impress her. How? Simple. Kill … the Batman. Wait. Wait no that’s for something else. Aww god dammit. I don’t have a plan at all, do I?

(hq jump here.  source = splash news online)

NEW WATCHMEN TRAILER

By brendon November 14, 2008 @ 5:38 AM

The second Watchman trailer, due to premiere today in front of "Quantum of Solace", hit teh net last night, and I think we’re close enough now for me to admit this thing gives me a hard on. I could never make it through the book, but being online so much has atrophied my brain down to a nub so I don’t think that should count against them. If a normal brain looks like an owl with glasses and a graduation cap and a stick to point at things on the board, mine is that monkey who pee’d in his own mouth.

I feel compelled to cram in my gushing love letter to Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach.  It's Kelly Leak.  Kelly Leak god dammit!  How can you not love a guy who survives this awful fucking town.  Huge star in his teens, then didn’t have a single role from 1993 to 2006.  For 13 years he drove limos, finished furniture, and delivered pizzas, now he is to Watchmen what Wolverine is to X-Men.  Am I the only one who finds that amazing?  People come to LA and say, "I'll give it 6 months and see how it goes".  13 years!  The dude failed for 13 god damn years, yet still killed it when someone finally gave him a chance.  His Hollywood comeback couldn’t be any more dramatic unless he did riding a 10-story robot that looks like a tiger.

(Songy Trivia! Music over the second half = "Take A Bow", by Muse)