Justin Bieber has to give a second DNA test

By brendon November 23, 2011 @ 5:16 PM

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Even though Justin Bieber has already given one DNA test to prove he’s not the father of her baby, Mariah Yeater is now demanding a second, but this time not done after Justin sneaks off somewhere in secret. Her attorney tells E! news

“We are trying to set up a DNA test—to test the mother and the child and to retest Justin Bieber. Because we have to make sure the chain of custody is properly supervised.”
“I wasn’t aware Justin Bieber was allegedly taking (his first DNA test) until I read about it. I don’t know if it was even his DNA. Evidence has to be properly supervised to make sure it is not corrupted.”

At first the lawyer was suspicious because the DNA reveled the subject didn’t have a Y-chromosome, just two X-chromosomes, but then someone showed him some pictures of Justin Bieber and he was like, oh ok.

(image source for the unrelated pictures of a nervous 1-day-old hippo hiding under his mom, taken yesterday at the cabarceno wildlife park in spain, because baby animal pictures are somehow less gay than how bieber looked on the today show this morning in his little christmas outfit = splash)

Justin Bieber took his DNA test

By brendon November 21, 2011 @ 3:36 PM

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Justin Bieber has finally taken a DNA test to prove that he is not the father of Mariah Yeaters baby as she claims. So now we just have to wait for the results. Though If I were Justins attorney I’d go steal her baby and trade it out with another one just in case. This girl doesn’t really seem all that hard to trick.

(image source of the androgynous looking Bieber with Selena Gomez at last nights American Music Awards = getty)

Mariah Yeater might be lying

By brendon November 17, 2011 @ 12:49 PM

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TMZ has gotten at least two major stories wrong in the past week (onetwo), but today they’re saying they have proof Mariah Yeater is lying about Justin Bieber getting her pregnant, and that seemed pretty likely anyway so they might actually be right this time.

Justin Bieber’s alleged baby mama sent a text Wednesday to a friend, begging him to erase an incriminating text in which her mom says someone OTHER than Justin Bieber is the baby daddy, and then promising to give him a cut of the action when she scores a payday.

Yeater pleads for John to “ERASE ALL MESSAGES from my mom.”
The text goes on to say that her mom sent John messages in the past, stating that baby Tristyn was fathered by Robbie — an ex-boyfriend.

She then goes on to talk about giving John money if he cooperates:  “Ill kick u when we get paid.”


Wow. She signs all her texts with her first and middle name. That was convenient. And I bet even Mariahs own attorneys would have to admit that something like this would be impossible to fake.

SUSPICIOUS UPDATE – someone emailed and said the text in the headline picture looks fake because it was sent with IOS 5, which wasn’t available until October. I don’t know how you can tell just by looking at it but I do know that most people had their old texts deleted when they upgraded to 5, so it’s odd that this guy would have a text from IOS 4. So this is all mildly suspicious, even though this chick seems completely crazy and is totally lying.

its pictures of (probably not) Justin Biebers baby

By brendon November 16, 2011 @ 4:12 PM

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There are two photo shoots today with Mariah Yeater and the baby she claims she had after Justin Bieber got her pregnant, her 4 month old son Tristyn.

I can’t tell if the baby looks like Bieber, but he has a gay name (it rhymes with “fistin”) so he does remind me of Bieber. One thing that is clear though is that, as you can see above, Mariah is a natural mother. Good job not touching the baby with your hands Mariah, babies are made of poison!

(image source = bauer griffin)

Justin Biebers paternity lawsuit is still on

By brendon November 16, 2011 @ 3:21 PM

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OK so TMZ’s story this morning saying that Mariah Yeater had dropped her paternity lawsuit against Justin Bieber was apparently not correct, because her attorney told WGN in Chicago this afternoon that Mariah still “believes Justin Bieber is the father” and the case is still on. Which is a smart move. It’s her word against his, it’s not like they can prove it either way. This chick is gonna be rich!

(source of the mariah yeater pics = pacific coast)

the Justin Bieber paternity suit has been dismissed

By brendon November 16, 2011 @ 9:45 AM

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Two weeks ago Mariah Yeater claimed that Justin Bieber got her pregnant when they had sex in a bathroom after a concert, and about a day later that story started to completely fall part, and then he announced he was gonna take a DNA test and then sue her.

And so, very wisely, she quietly snuck over to the courthouse and told them, “uh, never mind,” and now the case has been dismissed.

So does this mean he didn’t take a stranger into a bathroom and tell her that he wants to “fuck the shit” out of her? Not necessarily. It just means it didn’t happen with Mariah Yeater. Justin Bieber is a hardcore badass, he probably does that once a day. With models. That guy is 95 pounds of pure sexual power and attitude.