Mario Lopez Got A Head Start

By Matt January 21, 2015 @ 6:06 AM


Mario Lopez lost his virginity at age 12 and regrets it for unknown reasons or most likely thought it was awesome then and is just pretending:

“I didn’t know what I was doing. It shouldn’t even count. But I figured it out and I didn’t even enjoy it because I didn’t know what I was doing … I can’t believe I was that foolish. Everybody grows up quick in the hood. Everybody starts things a lot younger than they probably need to.”

I guess I’ll take your word that you’re from The Hood, although that term technically applies to any street with houses. I think Lopez is being hard on himself. I totally get why he did this. He was twelve and some chick allowed him to. You take that bet a hundred times out of a hundred. The only shocking revelation here is Lopez didn’t know how to fuck like a porn star as a youngster. I think he’s losing his grasp on history.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Maria Menounos lost a bet

By brendon February 07, 2012 @ 11:58 AM


Maria Menounos is from Boston, and she’s seen at Patriots and Celtics and Red Sox games all the time, and somehow that ended up with her having to host Extra yesterday in a Giants bikini.

We didn’t get to see her vagina this time (unlike on Miami beach) but her body looked pretty hot. Things got weird however when she was posing between the black guy (A.J. Calloway) and the effeminate dandy (Mario Lopez). It was like the beginning of a cuckhold video.

McConaughey looks like a fool

By brendon May 21, 2009 @ 8:24 AM


I bet Mario Lopez is gonna have a good laugh when he sees Matthew McConaughey throwing out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game. “What is he doing, haha!”, Mario will probably say. “Why is he on the mound? You’re supposed to scooch way way up, like I did (1). Or like that 100 pound girl from “the Hills” (2). Or the Kardashian girls (3). And then spaz out when you throw it, as if you were a retard trying to catch a butterfly (4).”

“52-year-old Tom Hanks made the same silly mistake last week in Japan (5). So did 62-year-old President Bush when he threw that strike after 911 (6). The Dodgers must have played a joke on Matt. They told me the same thing. They said, ‘don’t you think people will notice that you’re a boy and you’re standing in the middle of the grass like a woman?’ But I don’t think anyone noticed. I was very sensible. It’s dangerous to throw from the mound. It’s too far, and I heard that rubber strip is made of poison.”

(image source = splash)

Mario Lopez is a real stud

By brendon May 19, 2009 @ 12:26 PM


Mario Lopez looked like a complete fairy when he threw out the first pitch at last nights Dodgers game, but it wasn’t his fault because they had him stand so far away. The pitchers mound is roughly 60 feet away, and Mario was about 10 feet in front of that. In Little League the mound is 49 feet away, so Mario was even further than those professionally trained 8-year-olds. He should get even closer to home plate. And when he’s about to throw it someone in an all green outfit could take the ball from his hands and run it over and put it in the catchers glove. Maybe even move the ball in some crazy pattern so it looks like Mario has this unhittable corkscrew pitch. What an athlete!


By brendon June 13, 2008 @ 6:32 AM

I don’t mean to brag, but I think I understand what the readers of this page like.  So with that in mind, here's a story about a muscular gay hunk in a cat-fight with Mario Lopez because of the costume choices for their lavish musical.  Dancing, singing, shirtless gay guys and underwear – this story has got it all!  Page Six says…

WHAT started as a battle of the biceps has turned into the battle of the bulges between stars of Broadway's "A Chorus Line."  Last month, Mario Lopez and co-star Nick Adams clashed when Lopez refused to wear his character Zach's trademark costume of a long-sleeve tan sweater. As first reported by The Post's Michael Riedel, Lopez wanted to show off his biceps, so he wore a short-sleeve brown shirt in order to display his "guns."  Lopez also requested that Adams cover up his navy-blue tank top with a baggy hoodie whenever he danced next to Lopez.  Now the rivalry between the hunks has been pumped up with word that the men's-underwear company 2(x)ist has decided it wants Adams front and center in a shirtless ad and that it passed over Lopez.  Mario was originally No. 1 on our radar as we planned the campaign," said an insider. "We were ready to call him with an offer, but then we saw Nick. He's younger, sexy, more interesting. On top of that, his body was crazy. We set up a meeting, and when he walked in, that was it. We never even looked at anyone else after that."

Nick Adams is this guy, and he seems like a smart ass, a trait I greatly admire in people.  The picture above (Nick on the right, Mario on the left) is from his flickr account, which he had to put up knowing about all this drama.  It must suck for Mario, to have someone you think is better looking than you right next to you.  I wouldn’t know of course, because I'm so hot.  In fact I'm so beautiful, in pictures I just show up as a beam of pure radiant light.