Marissa Miller had a baby

By brendon December 14, 2012 @ 7:19 PM

marissa_miller_fhm

It was depressing when Marisa Miller got pregnant, and the only things that would have made it better is if I were the one that did it or if she had a girl for me to leer at in 15 I mean 18 years. Neither one of those things happened.

Marisa Miller and her husband, music producer Griffin Guess are parents after welcoming their first child (yesterday).
Son Gavin Lee Guess was born in Santa Cruz, Calif. at 7:58pm.
“I’m completely overjoyed by the birth of our son. I feel so blessed to be a mom and am so excited to experience this next part of life,” the model, 34, tells People

Yeah this sucks, and I haven’t checked the national news or twitter in the past few hours, but I’m very confident in saying that this will the be the saddest child related story all day.

Marisa Miller is pregnant

By brendon June 19, 2012 @ 5:01 PM

mm9

Marisa Miller, who was Kate Upton before Kate Upton was, announced today that she’s pregnant for the first time with her husband griffin Guess. This spindly jackass, who yes, still wears a faux-hawk and who, with a child on the way, has no idea what’s about to hit him. It’s a bat. The one in my hands, for ruining the greatest stomach in the history of bikini modeling.

Marisa Miller won the Academy Awards

By brendon February 27, 2012 @ 2:07 PM

marisa_miller_2012_vanity_fair_oscar_party

Marisa Miller was another of the famous people at the Vanity Fair and Elton Johns AIDS Foundation parties last night, because if a girl this hot with boobs that big can’t sell magazines and/or cure AIDS, no one can.

(image source = getty and splash)

Marisa Miller is naked

By brendon December 10, 2010 @ 4:23 PM

marisa_miller_naked

Marc Jacobs is one of the worlds most famous fashion designers, and he’s currently the Creative Director for Louis Vuitton, so it makes perfect sense that his new campaign would have Marisa Miller completely naked. Actually I guess it doesn’t. But it turns out I don’t give a fuck why she’s naked, as long as she is, so we’re good here.

Marisa Miller is here to remind you about the NFL

By brendon October 28, 2010 @ 2:16 PM

marisa_miller_london_nfl

The only thing better than football is hot girls with big tits*, so it was very wise of the NFL to send Marisa Miller to London this morning to promote Sundays game at Wembley Stadium between the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos. Because not everyone over there knows what American football is exactly. Like this guy. He came up and said, “whas all this then? Whos this bird in the skinnies, with that lil fizzy gig like in the contest on the telly. A real rum tum tiger she is!”

Or maybe that means he does understand American football. Honestly, I can never tell what the fuck those people are saying.

* just ask Brett Favre – ZING!

Marisa Millers husband is still an unworthy jackass

By brendon October 06, 2010 @ 12:43 PM

45762PCN_Marisa

Any rational conversation about the hottest girl ever would have to include Marisa Miller, who went to Katsuya in LA last night with her husband.

I know what you’re thinking: “Where? Where’s her husband? I wanna see her husband! Is he behind that jerkoff with the physique of a seventh grader and who still wears Vanns and a fauxhawk in 2010?”

Nope. That’s him. That’s the guy who married Marisa Miller in 2006. The guy who doesn’t have a real job and mooches off Marisa.

On the bright side, seeing a complete tool with the worlds most perfect supermodel should actually be encouraging for normal looking guys like you and people like you. Doesn’t help me though. I’m breathtakingly gorgeous.

(image source = pacific coast news)