Polaroids of Marisa Miller Testing Bikinis for SI

By Lex May 07, 2014 @ 4:39 PM

Marisa Miller Models Bikinis In Polariods For The 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
Good news. Marisa Miller has yet to find another job outside of swimsuit modeling. From the looks of these Polaroids, Marisa will be an active participant in creating draft images for SI, ultimately to be airbrushed, scraped, pixelated, nipples extracted, and properly hued, colored, and disfigured for presentation next February in the Swimsuit Edition. It’s not that I can’t enjoy cartoon versions of hot girls with big tubes in bikinis. It’s just that they pale in comparison to candid Polaroids that look like they were shot by Turkish sex slave abductors.

Photo Credit: Sports Illustrated

marissa miller makes baseball way better

By brendon July 13, 2010 @ 6:15 PM

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The MLB All-Star game will be played tonight, but much more interesting was the celebrity softball game. Because Marissa Miller was in it. And she ran around wearing pants that showed off her amazing body and an ass so rock hard you could use it to open jars.

marissa miller is up to something

By brendon December 15, 2009 @ 1:57 PM

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These pictures of Marissa Miller backstage at the Victorias Secret Fashion Show are taken as if she doesn’t know she’s being watched, but whoever took them has a lot to learn about gathering intel on a human target I mean romancing a lady. She’s not naked in any of them. What’s the point in that? If I wanted to see Marissa Miller with clothes on in an intimate setting I would just pretend to be her dentist again.

Michael Jackson was gay

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 7:48 PM

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The image of Michael Jackson fondling some little kid is repulsive of course, but is it the worst image ever or just kind of weird and super inappropriate? Yesterday it would have been the worst thing ever, but this morning the Sun had an article describing him licking another mans penis and having gay sex in dirty Las Vegas motels, so how can that not be number 1?

A new book insists “virtually everybody” around him knew he was gay.
One (lover) met him for liaisons at a grungy motel which was all the debt-ridden star could afford.
And one told Halperin (the author): “The very first time he had sex with me he said, ‘The King of Pop’s going to lick your lollipop’. I still laugh thinking about that.”
Halperin said: “Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined.”
He claims the two lovers he traced were a Hollywood waiter and an aspiring actor, “Lawrence”.
“He was very shy. But when he started to have sex, he was insatiable.”
Halperin says Jackson was known to slip out to a motel for gay sex in 2007 when he had moved to Las Vegas.
He reportedly fell in love with a burly half-Asian in his early 20s.
Halperin alleges: “He rarely left his residence, but when he did, according to one of Jackson’s closest confidants, it was to meet a boyfriend at a run-down motel.”
A source tells the book: “He met a construction worker and fell madly in love with him.
“Michael would leave the house in disguise, often dressed as a woman, and would go to meet his boyfriend at a motel that was one of Vegas’ grungiest dives.
“Michael was broke. It was all he could afford then.”

You know Michael was no master criminal if his idea of a disguise was dressing like a woman. A wig, foundation, lipstick, skintight pants with rhinestone shoes. It’s not a disguise if you just pick things out of your closet.

And what does Marissa Miller naked in GQ have to do with gay sex. Absolutely nothing, thank fucking god. 13 pics of her really topless here just to make sure.

SHHH, ITS A SECRET

By brendon November 04, 2008 @ 2:14 PM

These are nothing but behind-the-scenes pictures of a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot, but today is boring because everything is wrapped up in election.  In the banner pic we see Miranda Kerr getting made up while Truman Capote makes some last second changes and my high school drama teacher tries to pull Mirandas underwear up to her chest.  It's certain to be the steamiest shoot ever, at least among shoots where girls stand in front of a blank white wall.  The competition in this category includes mugshots and ransom note pictures.


MARISA MILLER IS SOMEWHAT ATTRACTIVE

By brendon June 19, 2008 @ 7:59 AM

This is why everyone hates Maxim magazine.  They have a photoshoot with Marisa Miller this month, and she's the greatest thing ever.  Christmas and sunsets and the laughter of children can all go fuck themselves, Marisa Miller is the winner of the contest.  Yet all Maxim does for the most part is stand her in front of a grey wall.  It's like they did the shoot at the DMV.  I'll still masturbate to these, but I won't be happy about it.  Not one bit.

(her husband = still a dork)