Mark Wahlberg Rapes Royalties, Not Women

January 23, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mark Wahlberg thought that hiding in plain sight would work but sadly he was mistaken. There are no limits to the levels of schmuck this man can reach. He recently tried to have his hate crimes expunged from his record because advancement as a restaurateur is easier with a clean record. I’ve still never seen […]


Mark Wahlberg Man-blames With Monetary Donation

January 16, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Marky Mark Wahlberg didn’t make the same mistake many other melanin devoid rappers outside of the Eminem exception make which is stay in rap too long. He could have easily been just another Vanilla Ice if he didn’t transition into movies. But now that he has made millions and only two films that are actually […]


Mark Wahlberg Regrets Boogie Nights

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Thanks to Weinstein, every white male in Hollywood is rushing to dive into benevolent social activity covers. Mark Wahlberg chose the Catholic Church. Religion being the last refuge of a third rate actor scoundrel.


Mark Wahlberg Highest Paid Actor

August 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Women, and the men who are scared of them, are already complaining about how much money Mark Wahlberg, and second place earner, The Rock, make in annual movie pay compared to leading actresses. It’s easy to complain about numbers when eliminating science from your arguments. 



Mark Wahlberg’s Wife Shows No Signs of Wahlberg Procreation

December 29, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rhea Durham’s had some Catholic mom number of kids and she’s approaching forty and she merits a camel hugging thong. They don’t pass out these Victoria’s Secret runway invites to anybody at twenty-two.


Ryan Phillippe Takes The Bullet

July 13, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The USA series Shooter is about an ex Marine who is coaxed out of retirement when he learns of a plot to kill the President. This is the fallacy of all shitty movies and TV shows. There’s not just one guy who’s good at shooting a rifle or bouncing at bars or driving a getaway car. There are literally thousands.


Mark Wahlberg Was a Very Busy Teenager

January 20, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Krisyn Atwood wants to be sure Wahlberg isn’t remembered as the movie star who just beat the shit out of Vietnamese immigrants, he’s also the guy who dropped n-bombs and threw rocks at fourth grade black girls going to the beach. Sort of like how everybody remembers him from Boogie Nights, but everybody forgets about […]


Mark Wahlberg’s Wife In a Bikini

December 27, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’d caption this photo, ‘Hey, look, gooks on our beach, let’s go skin them.’ I kid, because Mark Wahlberg once blinded a Vietnamese guy who later forgave him because he saw The Happening and felt he was mildly retarded. None of this takes away from the fact Mark’s wife still looks pretty hot after pumping […]


Mark Wahlberg Wants To Be a Cop

December 9, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mark Wahlberg wants to join the LAPD as a Reserve Officer, a program the LAPD invented so celebrities that fervently support gun control can have the right to carry personal firearms and make sure their bodyguards can do the same. Unfortunately you can’t join the LAPD Reserve Officer program when you have a rap sheet for […]


Mark Wahlberg Seeks Pardon For Hate Crime

December 8, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Mark Wahlberg is seeking a formal pardon from the State of Massachusetts for assaulting two Vietnamese guys in the 1980s when he was in his racial assaults experimental phase. Wahlberg hit one dude with a big stick while yelling “Gook” and “Vietnam Fucking Shit” and sucker punched another dude so bad he was left blind in […]