Saturday Night Live is awful, I don’t think anyone is here to argue that, but Holy Shit Andy Samberg does a pretty damn awesome Mark Wahlberg impression. It’s not SNL’s fault that Wahlberg is a shitty, one-note actor who does the same thing in every single role, but yesterday Wahlberg made it clear to the NY Post that he doesn't like when people point that out.

Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And "Saturday Night Live" hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now.

Actually a Mark Wahlberg impression seems pretty easy.  All you have to do is make your voice go up and down and up and down all the way through the sentence.  It also helps if you’re 18 inches tall and produce a horrible TV show that is little more than a tribute to how wonderful you are.  Tomorrow I'll give you tips for a good Crocodile Hunter impression (basically you just lie perfectly still).

I hate Mark Wahlberg and his wooden line reads and the way he furrows his stupid brow and tries to look intense but just looks confused, like a caveman poking a turtle with a stick, so obviously it's reason to celebrate as "the Happening" marks its place in history as one of the worst things ever filmed.  M Night Shyamalan gets more pretentious every single movie, this time even making commercials with him just sitting there talking.  At this point he could make a movie about the Civil War and he would cast himself as Abraham Lincoln.  Despite all this Mark Wahlberg still had the nerve to talk shit about the Oceans 11 movies:

Is it true you turned down the chance to be in the Ocean's films?
Yeah – and it was well worth it! The second one sucked! People tell George Clooney it's great, but we all know it sucked. I made two bad movies instead – Planet Of The Apes and The Truth About Charlie – but doing that was better than sitting with Brad and George, telling the press how great everybody is! "We were in Europe, George was funny, then we had some wine…" – that's not for me. I do love those guys, but I had to step out on my own.

Did you know that M. Nights real name is Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamalan.  When you say it out loud it doesn’t even sound like an actual name.  It sounds like a spell.  I heard that if you say it out loud three times you can turn someone into a bunny.