Megan Fox Gets Down to Business

By Lex May 06, 2013 @ 3:12 PM

Megan Fox On Set Of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle In NYC
When Megan Fox arrives on set, it’s time for the real acting to begin. This time, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The film sparked an uproar early on among computer science majors when it was suggested this origins movie would give the turtles an alien background, not make them real earthbound mutants. Unless you’re getting laid by a girl in thick glasses you really need to not engage in these types of conversations. They’ll only lead to early onset diabetes. It’s going to be dumb either way. But Megan Fox has three mouths to feed now, so I’m guessing she’ll show a lot of cleavage. It’s on my go-list.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash

Megan Fox is in Esquire, might be insane

By brendon January 15, 2013 @ 4:38 PM

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Megan Fox is in the new issue of Esquire, and if anyone thought she might be another one of these stars who has their interviews filtered through a publicist, this should put an end to that. Because she’s candid. Psychotically candid.

Others in her situation have found release in booze and pills. Fox has found hers in church.
“I have seen magical, crazy things happen. I’ve seen people be healed. Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues, and I’d have to shut it off because I don’t know what that church would do if I started screaming out in tongues in the back.”

Luckily, weirdness is right at home in Esquire, who fag upeverysingleinterviewand profile they ever do with a hot girl by studying her features the way a serial killer would right before turning her into a lamp.

The symmetry of her face, up close, is genuinely shocking. The lip on the left curves exactly the same way as the lip on the right. The eyes match exactly. The brow is in perfect balance, like a problem of logic, like a visual labyrinth. It’s not really even that beautiful. It’s closer to the sublime, a force of nature, the patterns of waves crisscrossing a lake, snow avalanching down the side of a mountain, an elaborately camouflaged butterfly. What she is is flawless. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her.

Are… are we still talking about Megan Fox? What was all that about a labyrinth and butterflies and an avalanche? It’s like Esquire is trying to sell us a racehorse.

Megan Fox is a dark immortal

By brendon December 13, 2012 @ 2:20 PM

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Megan Fox looks great considering she just had a baby in September, but the spooky eyeliner isn’t doing her any favors. It makes her look older. As in 500 years older, when she was bitten by the dark lord and cursed to a life as a hunter of the night.

(image source of megan at last nights ‘this is 40′ premiere = getty)

Megan Fox just snapped right back

By brendon November 30, 2012 @ 7:56 PM

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Megan Fox looked awesome yesterday at a photocall in Beverly Hills to promote ‘This is 40’, barely two months after giving birth. It’s amazing. Actually have we even seen that kid yet? She looks so good I’m starting to think she was just lying.

Megan Fox just had a baby, still fantastic looking

By brendon November 20, 2012 @ 8:43 PM

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Megan Fox gave birth to her son Noah less than two months ago (September 27th), but you wouldn’t know it by the way she looked last night at a screening for her new movie ‘This is 40′ at the Writers Guild Theater in Beverly Hills. Because “the way she looked” was terrific. I don’t know what her secret is, and I don’t wanna know. It could be eating human flesh for all I care, old Megan Fox is back.

Megan Fox had her baby 3 weeks ago, is awesome

By brendon October 17, 2012 @ 3:39 PM

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If Megan Fox wanted to, she could very definitely be like Jennifer Lopez and whore out her pregnancy to the media for all kinds of interviews and million dollar deals for pictures. But she’s not, so instead she quietly went through her pregnancy and had her baby. Last month.

And no one knew it until today, when she made a simple announcement on her facebook:

“We have been very lucky to have had a peaceful few weeks at home, but I would like to release this myself before others do. I gave birth to our son Noah Shannon Green on September 27th. He is healthy, happy, and perfect.
We are humbled to have the opportunity to call ourselves the parents of this beautiful soul and I am forever grateful to God for allowing me to know this kind of boundless, immaculate love.
Thanks to those of you who wish to send your positive energy and well wishes. May God bless you and your families abundantly.”

Again, Megan Fox is awesome. If you sent Mariah Carey or Beyonce “positive energy” after they had their baby they’d tell you to go fuck yourself. If you’re not bringing chests of gold, frankincense, and myrrh, or a diamond teddy bear with rubies for eyes, don’t even bother to show up.

(image source of megan leaving a doctors office in beverly hills on september 23rd, 4 days before she gave birth = fame/flynet)