afternoon headlines

By brendon June 17, 2010 @ 5:35 PM

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IAN SOMERHALDER - is politely wondering why Hollywood isn’t doing anything to help the Gulf Coast in the wake of the oil spill, considering they raised 58 million for Haiti which is a complete shithole anyway. It’s like putting a new refrigerator in a house that’s on fire. Fuck those other countries. U-S-A, U-S-A, U-S-A!!! (popeater)

HARRISON FORD – took a break from filming ‘Cowboys and Aliens’ in New Mexico on Tuesday and married Calista Flockhart, his girlfriend for the past 8 years. It makes sense that his wedding would be tied to a movie like that since he’s so god damn in love with shoving aliens into places where they clearly don’t fucking belong. (abc news)

JONAH HILL – has revealed how he got the huge scar on his arm. He was “not a good kid” when he was 15 and one night he and a friend took an SUV and flipped it. Hills arm was hanging out the window at the time and it was dragged along the ground. He says he woke up to hear the doctors discussing if they should amputate it. Ohh brother, I know what that’s like. One time I stepped on a tack. (huff post)

MEGAN FOX - is of course the new Armani girl, and a second wave of lingerie pictures for her ad campaign are coming out. Like this one. Actually that’s the only one. This story went to hell pretty quick, didn’t it.

TWITTER ……. FACEBOOK ……. BEARS FIGHT DIRTY

megan fox is engaged again

By brendon June 16, 2010 @ 12:20 PM

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While in Hawaii two weeks ago, Megan Fox reportedly got engaged to Brian Austin Green (for the second time), but really all this story will do is give the dorks and fatties and keyboard nerds another reason to make fun of her. Us magazine says…

Green popped the question to Fox (on) June 1. But in all the excitement, the happy couple somehow lost the ring.
“I saw her jumping up and down,” a witness (says). “Later, I saw a half dozen staff sifting through the sand.”
Alas, the 2-carat sparkler, which the pair picked out together from Excalibur jewelry store in Beverly Hills, remains MIA.
“Security and maintenance staff spent a couple of hours looking for it,” another source tells Us Weekly. “No one found it.”

Megan has been especially low profile lately, maybe because this is true and she is engaged and doesn’t want to be hounded about it. Or maybe she heard I went off the grid and is trying to hide under that hat. Oh silly Megan. When two hearts are meant to be together no hat or smart ass judge or manhunt can stand between them.

love hewitt wants to play wonder woman, is delusional

By brendon June 10, 2010 @ 10:50 AM

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I don’t think there’s been any movement on the Wonder Woman movie in years, but Jennifer Love Hewitt seems to think there is, and that she would be a perfect choice to play the superhero. I wonder how she plans on getting her fat ass in that costume.

Jennifer Love Hewitt is pleading with movie studio bosses at Warner Bros. to hire her for the part.
She says, “I’m fighting so hard. I think Warner Bros. is getting ready to make Wonder Woman and I really want to play Wonder Woman. I am obsessed with Wonder Woman.”

You can forget about it fatty. Just cast Megan Fox. Or Denise Milani (below). Wonder Woman doesn’t really do anything anyway so how hard could it be. She was constantly getting captured and none of her ideas ever worked. She would lasso the monsters foot and then the monster would walk away with a lasso on its foot and after that she had no plan. At best she would distract the monster with her big tits and slutty little outfit, turning it from a regular monster to a horny monster with a hard on, which is actually much much worse than a regular monster, I would have thought. 

megan fox in a bikini, part 3

By brendon June 02, 2010 @ 2:20 PM

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Megan Fox and that guy whose name I can never remember are on day 3 in Hawaii, and that means day 3 in a bikini, and day 3 of answering persistent rumors that their relationship is in trouble. It looks ok here. Could marriage be next? Only they know for sure and he aint talkin. Maybe a little torture will loosen his tongue.

(source and more = just jared)

megan fox in a bikini, part 2

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 11:28 AM

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Megan Fox spent a second day on the beach in Hawaii, and this time she looked even better than the first time. Although this time was frustrating because it looks like her suit is just barely staying on. Seems like something should slide up or down or slip out at any moment. Wouldn’t take much. Don’t bother shaking your monitor though. All that did was make my arms sore.

(source = splash news online)

megan fox. in a bikini.

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 5:47 AM

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Megan Fox and her boyfriend were in Hawaii this weekend, and I’m pretty sure these are the first Megan Fox bikini pictures ever. Well not “ever” but the first candids since she became a big star.

And despite regular rumors that she and whats his name are splitting up, they look pretty happy here. She could date someone richer but I guess she likes this dork. Or maybe she just likes the security of a long term relationship. Girls like that. They like to feel safe. Guys should take advantage of that. Next time you see a hot girl, wait until you’re alone, like in an elevator or something, and then say, “God has sent me to protect you.” Girls also like secrets, so after that put your finger over her lips and go, “Shhhhhh.”

I haven’t tried it yet but I feel like that would work.