megan fox. in a bikini.

By brendon June 01, 2010 @ 5:47 AM


Megan Fox and her boyfriend were in Hawaii this weekend, and I’m pretty sure these are the first Megan Fox bikini pictures ever. Well not “ever” but the first candids since she became a big star.

And despite regular rumors that she and whats his name are splitting up, they look pretty happy here. She could date someone richer but I guess she likes this dork. Or maybe she just likes the security of a long term relationship. Girls like that. They like to feel safe. Guys should take advantage of that. Next time you see a hot girl, wait until you’re alone, like in an elevator or something, and then say, “God has sent me to protect you.” Girls also like secrets, so after that put your finger over her lips and go, “Shhhhhh.”

I haven’t tried it yet but I feel like that would work.

most people seem to believe megan fox

By brendon May 27, 2010 @ 4:39 PM


When it was announced that Megan Fox had essentially been fired from ‘Transformers 3′, jealous fat girls and keyboard nerds all had a good laugh. The spaz from superficial even predicted the end of her career. It was a real low point for Megan. He may be awkwardly unfunny, but if there’s one thing that dork is good at, it’s predictions.

But then Megan said she had no intention of doing the movie anyway. And then Jezebel ran this article. And thewrap ran this article. And now Ted Casablanca on E! is running this article.

…says a close Fox friend and ally. “This was never about money. It’s always been how she was treated as a human being, it just wasn’t good.”
“Bay would constantly scream at her. He would scream at everyone, but especially Megan. Imagine a really, really bitchy grandmother on the set, and that’s what Michael Bay is like.”
(Michael Bay) certainly has the reputation around town of being very hard to work for, especially if you’re a woman.
Our Transformers insider says Megan told him: “All [Bay] wants to do is shoot my ass and my tits, I hate him!’”

In Bay’s defense, these movies are retarded. I’d film Megan Foxs tits and ass for 90 minutes too. The sequel would have been called, ‘Transformers 2: Erotic Awakening”.

It opens with Diora Baird at the sink rinsing some dishes. Megan Fox walks up behind her and gives her a hug, rests her head on Dioras shoulder. Megan thanks her for her help, then casually mentions how pretty Diora looked at the party tonight. Diora smiles and laughs, her skin beginning to tingle but surprised by this new intimacy. Then Megan says it again, “you looked really sexy”, and then, slowly, deliberately, Megan eases her hands up from Dioras tight stomach and soft hips, and begins to rub her breasts. Megans hot breath and wet tongue mark their way down the cool skin on Dioras neck, a rush of pleasure, of course she noticed Megan before, the quick glances, the penetrating stares, and of course she was curious about an encounter with another woman, but this was all so sudden. Was it the champagne or the look in Megans eyes, it was hard to tell by now, but one thing was certain: this night was going to be like no other, and come morning, nothing would ever be the same.

I haven’t really worked out all the beats yet but after that they go fuck. Oh and there’s no robots. And it’s set in the 70’s. The End.

(picture source of Megans Armani ads all across Rome = splash )

tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon May 25, 2010 @ 6:27 PM


‘PRINCE OF PERSIA’ - and ‘the Last Airbender’ are being accused of racism because their leads are played by white people. “Are these summer blockbusters racist?”, the Huff Post asks. “I sure do hope so,” I replied before feeling misled. (huff post)

MEGAN FOX - is not the first actress to accuse Michael Bay of being a prick. In fact I heard Claire Forlani had to sleep with him to get a role in ‘the Rock’. That’s just the rumor, and I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but I felt like the attention was shifting away from me for a second. (jezebel)

LINDSAY LOHAN - will still be able to take prescription meds like Ambien and Adderall even though she’s been ordered not to take drugs, and some say those meds are the root of her addiction problem. “You shut your whore mouth,” replied millions of people who take Ambien and Adderall. (tmz)

AVONS BREAST CANCER WALKS - start again this summer and people should go here and help Lauren. That’s what I did because I fucking hate breast cancer. I’ve loved big tits ever since I was like 3. There might as well be a disease that drowns Winnie the Poohs. (walk)

VANESSA HUDGENS - could be in a really hot incest porn with Thandie Newton. Someone look into setting that up.

megan fox > rosie huntington whitely

By brendon May 25, 2010 @ 11:47 AM


Various sources, including the Sun, are claiming Victorias Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely has been offered the female lead in ‘Transformers 3′, a role played by Megan Fox in the first two movies.

The 23-year-old Brit has no acting experience, but it wouldn’t matter anyway because these movies are retarded. John Turturro is a fantastic actor but he still looks like an asshole in these. This chick can’t act, AND is sort of goofy looking. It’s perfect. The working title for this movie should be, ‘Transformers 3: The Audience Can Go Fuck Themselves’.

(note – pretty much every picture after the first 8 are her naked or topless, so act accordingly)

megan fox quit, was not fired from transformers 3

By brendon May 20, 2010 @ 6:10 PM


Deadline Hollywood is defending their story that Michael Bay essentially fired Megan Fox from ‘Transformers 3′, and while Megan confirms she won’t be in the movie, she says the choice was hers…

“Megan Fox will not be starring in Transformers 3,” reps for the actress, 24, tell PEOPLE. “It was her decision not to return. She wishes the franchise the best.”
Citing unnamed sources, Variety reports the studio and the film’s director, Michael Bay, intend to cast another actress as star Shia LaBeouf’s love interest to move the story in a different direction.

Megan Fox was actually the best part about these stupid movies, so it’s hard to know how this makes the series any better. Picture these movies without her. Picture the scenes without her. Are those scenes good? Probably not, because these movies are terrible. Roger Ebert has defended her, but I guess keyboard nerds like that spaz on superficial know better. Firing her would be like taking a Ferrari and smashing it with a bat and then painting it with spray paint in hopes that it will run better.

megan fox fired from transformers 3

By brendon May 19, 2010 @ 6:43 PM

megan fox 170510

Last year during the promotional tour for ‘Jennifer’s Body’, Megan Fox said she was miserable working with director Michael Bay on the ‘Transformers’ movies and then compared him to Hitler. But then both sides said all the right things and everything seemed to blow over.

Oh until this…

I’ve just learned that Paramount won’t be picking up Megan Fox’s option on Transformers 3 — and that it was “ultimately” director Michael Bay’s decision. Right now Bay and writer Ehren Kruger et al are finishing up the script for the threequel and “giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story,” an insider tells me. Bay will start casting immediately for the new female co-star.

Whatever. These movies are retarded and everyone knows it and Bay probably would have fired her anyway. He’s very well known for trying to fuck every girl who auditions, and if you work with the same cast three movies in a row that really kills the quality of the pussy you’re getting. That’s why I just find new girls and get them hooked on cocaine. The brilliance in my plan lies in its simplicity.