tuesday afternoon headlines

By brendon May 25, 2010 @ 6:27 PM

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‘PRINCE OF PERSIA’ - and ‘the Last Airbender’ are being accused of racism because their leads are played by white people. “Are these summer blockbusters racist?”, the Huff Post asks. “I sure do hope so,” I replied before feeling misled. (huff post)

MEGAN FOX - is not the first actress to accuse Michael Bay of being a prick. In fact I heard Claire Forlani had to sleep with him to get a role in ‘the Rock’. That’s just the rumor, and I’m not sure if it’s relevant, but I felt like the attention was shifting away from me for a second. (jezebel)

LINDSAY LOHAN - will still be able to take prescription meds like Ambien and Adderall even though she’s been ordered not to take drugs, and some say those meds are the root of her addiction problem. “You shut your whore mouth,” replied millions of people who take Ambien and Adderall. (tmz)

AVONS BREAST CANCER WALKS - start again this summer and people should go here and help Lauren. That’s what I did because I fucking hate breast cancer. I’ve loved big tits ever since I was like 3. There might as well be a disease that drowns Winnie the Poohs. (walk)

VANESSA HUDGENS - could be in a really hot incest porn with Thandie Newton. Someone look into setting that up.

megan fox > rosie huntington whitely

By brendon May 25, 2010 @ 11:47 AM

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Various sources, including the Sun, are claiming Victorias Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely has been offered the female lead in ‘Transformers 3′, a role played by Megan Fox in the first two movies.

The 23-year-old Brit has no acting experience, but it wouldn’t matter anyway because these movies are retarded. John Turturro is a fantastic actor but he still looks like an asshole in these. This chick can’t act, AND is sort of goofy looking. It’s perfect. The working title for this movie should be, ‘Transformers 3: The Audience Can Go Fuck Themselves’.

(note – pretty much every picture after the first 8 are her naked or topless, so act accordingly)

megan fox quit, was not fired from transformers 3

By brendon May 20, 2010 @ 6:10 PM

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Deadline Hollywood is defending their story that Michael Bay essentially fired Megan Fox from ‘Transformers 3′, and while Megan confirms she won’t be in the movie, she says the choice was hers…

“Megan Fox will not be starring in Transformers 3,” reps for the actress, 24, tell PEOPLE. “It was her decision not to return. She wishes the franchise the best.”
Citing unnamed sources, Variety reports the studio and the film’s director, Michael Bay, intend to cast another actress as star Shia LaBeouf’s love interest to move the story in a different direction.

Megan Fox was actually the best part about these stupid movies, so it’s hard to know how this makes the series any better. Picture these movies without her. Picture the scenes without her. Are those scenes good? Probably not, because these movies are terrible. Roger Ebert has defended her, but I guess keyboard nerds like that spaz on superficial know better. Firing her would be like taking a Ferrari and smashing it with a bat and then painting it with spray paint in hopes that it will run better.

megan fox fired from transformers 3

By brendon May 19, 2010 @ 6:43 PM

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Last year during the promotional tour for ‘Jennifer’s Body’, Megan Fox said she was miserable working with director Michael Bay on the ‘Transformers’ movies and then compared him to Hitler. But then both sides said all the right things and everything seemed to blow over.

Oh until this…

I’ve just learned that Paramount won’t be picking up Megan Fox’s option on Transformers 3 — and that it was “ultimately” director Michael Bay’s decision. Right now Bay and writer Ehren Kruger et al are finishing up the script for the threequel and “giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story,” an insider tells me. Bay will start casting immediately for the new female co-star.

Whatever. These movies are retarded and everyone knows it and Bay probably would have fired her anyway. He’s very well known for trying to fuck every girl who auditions, and if you work with the same cast three movies in a row that really kills the quality of the pussy you’re getting. That’s why I just find new girls and get them hooked on cocaine. The brilliance in my plan lies in its simplicity.

afternoon headlines

By brendon April 07, 2010 @ 7:20 PM

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MEGAN FOX - should be on this list of famous people who blaze up (here’s a diff one). I’d also like to see her on a list of famous girls who have swallowed my semen. (htgb)

JENNIFER ANISTON - still sucks. ‘Bounty Hunter’ only made 3.8m in it’s UK debut. It’s hard to figure out why no one goes to see her movies. Perhaps it’s because she’s a terrible actress and self-pitying bitch. Oh wait I guess it wasn’t that hard to figure out. (daily mail)

TIGER WOODS - had sex with the daughter of one of his neighbors last year. She was 21, and lived so close they could see Tigers house when they were doin it. He must have a really good Homeowners Association. All I get is some votive candles on Christmas Eve. (radar)

MICHELLE HUNZIKER - is still in Miami, bless her heart. Blond white girls are boring, but … the pigtails. Pigtails are fuckin hot. More girls don’t wear them and that bugs me. It works especially well on Michelle because she’s Swiss. This would be a good ad for tropical cocoa. (fame images, splash news)

megan fox is good, not a slut

By brendon March 03, 2010 @ 3:36 PM

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Megan Fox doesn’t get the credit she deserves as an actress and still gets labeled as slut who skates by on her looks, but I’ll continue to stand up for her because when you love someone that’s what you do. And also because I know all too well what it’s like when people try to brand you as just a pretty face. Hopefully a new interview with Harpers Bazaar (via the Huffington Post) will help her cause.

On her sex partners:
“I’ve only been with two men my entire life. My childhood sweetheart and Brian. I can never have sex with someone that I don’t love, ever. The idea makes me sick. I’ve never even come close to having a one-night stand.”

On giving provocative interviews:
“My biggest regret is that I’ve assisted the media in making me into a cartoon character. I don’t regret what has happened to me, but I regret the way I have dealt with it.”

I still can’t believe she has sex with that dork and it doesn’t look like they’re breaking up any time soon. That dude needs to go.

Hey does anyone know how to cut the brake lines on a car? Hypothetically speaking of course.

(there aren’t any good new pics of Megan, so here’s her looking nerdy a few years ago)