thursday morning headlines

By brendon August 12, 2010 @ 10:09 AM

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JULRI WATERS – is beautiful, short, Asian, has huge breasts, and parades around naked for Playboy. In other words she’s historys most perfect girl (NSFW pictures here). Easily manipulated, she asked me to mention that she and Julia Morse (direct link to their NSFW Playboy pics here and here) are in Sturgis for the bike rally, and at the Silverado casino today and tomorrow from 1-4 signing stuff. I’m gonna go at 4 when she’s tired and see if she’ll blindly sign a marriage license. (silverado, playboy)

JIMMY KIMMEL - was on his Twitter last night asking about his computer generated “Who To Follow” suggestions. Twitter is kind of a smartass, as it turns out. (twitpic)

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – is having her home searched for listening devices so no one can secretly record her conversations. “She’s worried either Mel or the media has planted cameras or wiretapping devices.” The balls on this chick. The judge should throw out the case just for this. Then have the bailiff go punch her in the stomach. (tmz)

TWITTER – Follow me today and you’ll receive 10 free internets. (twitter)

SOFIA VERGARA – says Madonna looks like a freak. While not opposed to plastic surgery, she says some women go to far. “That thing with the cheeks. Like Madonna. Who do they think they’re fooling? It doesn’t make them look young. You end up looking like a freak.” Keep in mind Madonnas arms look like this. She looks like an old tree. (us)

Mel Gibsons ex might be lying, part 4

By brendon August 04, 2010 @ 4:32 PM

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Oksana Grigorieva’s former lawyer has been contacted by investigators to ask about some of the most damning claims she’s making about Mel Gibson. Because even though she’s gone on record before, she keeps adding new things to her story.

Specifically she spoke to attorneys while negotiating a settlement from Gibson after they broke up. This was her time to present all the evidence she had to get the most money possible. And yet…

- During the mediation she never expressed any concern that Mel was a threat to baby Lucia
- During the mediation she never said that Mel threatened to kill her, Alexander, Lucia, and himself
- During the mediation she never made any mention nor produced any photo of a black eye

She originally agreed to a 15 million dollar settlement, but then decided that wasn’t enough. Gibsons attorneys have said from the beginning that she was trying to extort money out of Mel, and if he didn’t pay, she would… well she would do this. So enjoy your Pyrrhic victory dipshit. You wanted more of his money, so you made sure he’ll never make any. Bravo. It would be like breaking into a bank by burning it down.

Mel Gibson is an excellent father

By brendon July 28, 2010 @ 1:48 PM

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Oksana Grigorieva has accused Mel Gibson of some pretty horrific stuff, but every time she tries to prove it there’s always some element that makes it look like she’s exaggerating at the very least.

The worst of it was the claim that he hit Oksana while she was holding their baby daughter, and in the process ended up hitting the baby too. To prove it she released a picture of the baby, which proved absolutely nothing except that it needs an orthodontist.

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tuesday morning headlines

By brendon July 27, 2010 @ 11:44 AM

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MEL GIBSON – has reportedly been sober for years, which means he was sober during the now famous phone calls that his ex recorded. Which is weird because he sounded drunk as hell. Also he’s Irish (*). Those people love getting drunk, yelling racist names and starting fist fights. That’s why I don’t spend Christmas with my family. (tmz)

OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – has a new evidence picture to use against Mel Gibson, this time showing “deep bruises around her left eye”. She told police he punched her once in the mouth and once in the temple. But not the eye. It’s all part of her plan to make people like me think she’s lying. (radar)

MARISA MILLER – is in the new issue of the FHM, the British magazine that failed here in America despite being way bigger and better funded than it’s rivals. If you used Playboy to represent the Continental Army, this would be a good way to teach history to boys in junior high. (fhm)

(*) a bunch of people emailed about this, because Mel was born in New York and raised in Australia, but his mom was Irish, and he has dual citizenship in America and Ireland.

Mel Gibson wanted “Jew blood” on his hands. Or not.

By brendon July 23, 2010 @ 1:00 AM

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Every new day brings more stories about Mel Gibson, though lately they’re starting to sound more and more made up. Like Radar reporting that he wanted “Jew blood” on his hands, for example. Specifically the Jew Harvey Levin, founder of TMZ.

The anti-Semitic slur was allegedly made (because Levin) had “publicly humiliated” him.
Gibson hired individuals to place (Levin) under surveillance, Oksana told authorities.
“Oksana says Mel told her, ‘I want Jew blood on my hands,’ and said he wanted (Levin) taken to the desert, stripped naked, knee capped and left in the heat.”

This would seemingly give TMZ an unmatched opportunity to place themselves in the spotlight, yet they say the story is completely false.

Oksana never mentioned a word of this to any of her lawyers while she tried negotiating a $15 million package in May during the mediation, using the tapes as her secret weapon.  One person involved in the mediation laughed, saying Oksana brought out every piece of ammunition imaginable to score a financial package, so why was this story mysteriously absent?

So far the only real evidence that Mel did anything was the audio tapes, and he sounded drunk as hell during those. That wouldn’t make what he said okay, but getting drunk also makes girls more likely to say things like, “I want it in my mouth”, so let’s not be to hard on the concept of getting drunk.

thursday headlines: special mel gibson edition

By brendon July 22, 2010 @ 1:02 PM

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Look, if I could make Megan Fox and Jessica Alba blow me while I took pictures of it for the website, I assure you I would. Until then here’s three Mel Gibson stories, because that’s the only thing in the news.

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