Will Smith was at the Moscow premiere of ‘Men in Black 3’ today when a male reporter tried to kiss him on the lips. That went over about as well as you might think and Smith backhanded him in the face (it looks worse in the second clip), then said, “He’s lucky I didn’t sucker punch him.” Which would have been terrific. Like when Heath Herring knocked out that Japanese guy, except prissier.
Model and attention whore Micaela Schaefer went to the German premiere of ‘Men in Black 3’ in Berlin last night wearing little more than a belt and video tape. Which covered like a belt and video tape. But everyone seemed to love it, even German Santa. No German Santa, look away, the children might get the wrong idea!
The LA Times says today that Sony has already spent close to $375 million to produce, market, and distribute ‘Men in Black 3′ (meaning it could end up being the most expensive movie ever made), and essentially has no chance of making any of that back. Especially since it will almost certainly suck because they began shooting before they even finished the script.
As Huff Post (via Vulture) reminds us, here’s how director Barry Sonnenfeld explained it…
“What happened is that we wanted this to be Will Smith’s next movie, and he was sniffing around at other movies at the time … So we had a script, with a really good first act and a fantastic ending, but there were scenes in the middle that needed work.”
“Oh, so just a few scenes in the middle, that’s no big deal,” said a straw man I made up just now to make a point. Because no, that’s not how it works. Movies (generally) have three parts. Act 1 establishes the characters and sets up the conflict. It’s the first 10 minutes or so. Act 3 is when the hero blows up the Death Star or wins the race or fucks the girl or whatever. It’s usually the last 5 minutes.
So what ‘Men in Black 3′ didn’t have was that hour and half in between Act 1 and Act 3 that is supposed to show a logical progression of events where Will Smith figures out how to save Tommy Lee Jones. Instead of that we’ll be treated to Smith shouting things that really don’t need to be shouted and him telling us how handsome he is.
Will Smith and Josh Brolin were in Madrid yesterday for the Spain premiere of ‘Men in Black III’, and not only did they have to go to the Madrid Tennis Open but they got paraded around like assholes to hit a giant tennis ball with a giant tennis racket.
Josh Brolin seems cool, so it’s no ok that they did this to him, but Will Smith seems like a dick so I bet the studio lives for these moments. “Ok’a Wheel Smith, now you’a putta on’a dis diaper and we’a bang’a you wife’a.”
That probably sounded more Italian but you get the idea.
Sony released the first trailer for ‘Men In Black III’ this morning, the one with Will Smith going back in time for some vague reason, and with handsome Josh Brolin playing not-handsome Tommy Lee Jones at least well enough to scare any girl planning to marry handsome Josh Brolin.
FUN FACT: MIB3 is co-written by Etan Cohen, which is not “Ethan Coen” spelled wrong, and who presumably gets jobs because of real life versions of this.
KATY PERRY – will tie Michael Jacksons record if her 5th single off ‘Teenage Dream’ goes to number 1 like the other 4 have. And also if she gets two dozen little boys drunk and blows them. (mtv)
CARS 2 – is the worst reviewed Pixar movie ever, and not coincidentally they’ve now unveiled the characters for ‘Brave’, their first movie with a female protagonist. So I guess it’s about girl problems, like when there are no tampons in the ladies room. (joblo)
THE SUPERMAN REBOOT – will have Julia Ormond joining Russell Crowe as Supermans parents on Krypton before it explodes. Because this will tell the Superman origin story. Yet again. Otherwise no one would know what was going on. “There’s a new director now, so naturally I assumed the character would be completely different,” audiences will no doubt say to one another. “By showing me what I already know and saw in two other movies, I’m now reassured that Superman is still exactly the same as always. And it was great. I enjoy watching the same story over and over and over again. I’m like a fucking toddler.” (deadline)
MEN IN BLACK 3 – will cost $215 million, mostly because Will Smith is a pain in the ass. (the wrap)
JERSEY SHORE – will have an all new cast next year. Either that or they won’t, because MTV is denying these reports. As if they could ever find 8 more drunk Italians in New Jersey. (hollywood reporter)
PETER FALK – died “peacefully at his Beverly Hills home” last night at the age of 83, according to his family. But maybe their story comes unraveled if the detective says there’s “Just one more thing…” right before leaving. It can’t hurt to try. (ew)
PAZ DE LA HUERTA – walked around NYC on the phone. Presumably with someone asking what her tits felt like. (inf)