10.27.2009 morning headlines

METALLICA - has offered $50,000 as a reward to help find a girl who went missing after one of their concerts in Virginia. Have they checked the hospitals? Maybe she checked into one to see if they could help with her shitty taste in music. (ap)

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - has created a new comic book, described as a “horror anthology in the vein of Twilight Zone and Outer Limits”. When asked for a comment, Twilight Zone and Outer Limits said, “hey don’t you dare write that shit in a description. Don’t associate her with us, are you out of your god damn mind? You take that off right now.” (ifanboy)

KATE GOSSELIN - thinks she can be an actress. “I’ve done enough years on TV that I feel like it’s a normal, comfortable, natural place to be. I’d love to be in a movie at some point … I think that would be fun.” This would mean more time away from the kids of course, but most of them are 4, and it’s time for them to grow up. They should be ashamed of themselves for standing in the way of Kates dreams. (people)

BAR REFAELI - headlines the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Portfolio. It’s a book with pictures of girls in bikinis. This was considered hardcore pornography back when the editors of SI were still in their 50s, but now you gotta be god damn kiddin me. Who is gonna buy this? Fancy perverts? Fine, I’ll put on a top hat and extend my pinky as I jack off on it. (more on this behind the cut)

32 photos in gallery >

03.21.2009 saturday headlines

METALLICA – in a club that held little more than two thousand people. Metallica played a surprise one-hour show at the SXSW festival in Austin last night. Lead singer James Hetfield said, "Here is the grass roots. Here is the basis of why we like music. Artists getting up in front of 2,100 people and giving it what they got." And don't forget Austin’s fabulous shopping! (source = ap)

NATASHA RICHARDSON - Liam Neeson, her mom Vanessa Redgrave and her sister, Joely Richardson of “Nip/Tuck”, held a wake last night in NYC. A few hours earlier, more than 50 theaters across London's West End dimmed their lights to remember her. The day before, Broadway had done the same. She will be buried Sunday. (source = BBC)

OLGA KURYLENKO - these modeling pictures of actress Olga Kurylenko aren’t really relevant to anything, in fact they’re from 2004, but I don’t see girls in lingerie very much, so this is nice. Normally when I stick it to some hot supermodel, they’re pretty excited so they get naked right away, and when we’re done I don’t really wait around. They usually leave the money in an envelope by the door so I just head out.