The Ninja Turtles Did 9/11 And Shit Around The Web

By Michael July 29, 2014 @ 2:01 PM


Michael Bay is in shitload of fake trouble after releasing a poster for the shitty looking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that looks like they are falling from an exploding World Trade Center. In response, Michael Bay said, fuck you, my money’s guaranteed and so are my bitches. I’m paraphrasing.

Check out the Ninja Turtles falling to their deaths. (Gawker)

Vanessa Hudgens’ has an entire caravan of camel toe in her shorts. (Drunken Stepfather)

Beyonce is secretly looking for a new place in Manhattan. (Dlisted)

DMX screaming like a bitch on roller coaster is amazing. Grrrr. (Complex)

Zoe Saldana gets naked for Women’s Health or something. Who cares, tits! (Huffington Post)

Hillary Duff gets a bikini rubdown in her new video. (The Superficial)

Hannah Ferguson gets all wet and eats a burger all sexy like. (COED)

(Image Via Paramount)

Michael Bay Implodes On Stage (VIDEO)

By Michael January 07, 2014 @ 1:04 PM

Michael Bay fell to pieces on stage at a Samsung press conference in Vegas yesterday. The director of cinematic classic like Armageddon and Transformers was brought on to talk about Samsung’s new ultra high definition TVs. Because, you know, he doesn’t have enough fucking money that he needs to shill consumer electronics to sweaty fat Americans. The hissy fit happened when his teleprompter began to malfunction during his truly from the heart remarks. He paced around in a circle muttering that he was just going to wing it and eventually just walked off stage and left the presenter in the lurch. The audience broke into applause when they realized that’s all it took to rid themselves of Michael Bay.

Another Attempt To Extort “Transformers” Money On Hong Kong Set

By Michael October 24, 2013 @ 4:54 PM

Members of the Hong Kong Triads gang tried to extort money from another member of the crew of Transformers 4: Age of Extinction. We told you about Tranformers‘ action-hack director Michael Bay getting attacked in a similar extortion scheme last week. Supposedly two dudes attacked the shitty director and asked for $13,000. He claims he wasn’t bashed in the head with an AC unit as was originally reported. In this latest scheme the cops arrested one gang member and are looking for three more after they asked for money from a female member of the crew. It’s a common practice in the Hong Kong film world to give the Triads kickbacks for the honor of shooting on the streets of the city. The thing I don’t get is why they ask for so little?

These craptacular Transformers movies cost a shitload of money to make. They spend more than 13k on bagels every day. It shows how clueless the Triads are of their targets. This isn’t some low budget Hong Kong Kung Fu shoot’em up. This is a Michael Bay movie financed by Hollywood studios and Satan himself. C’mon, Triads, ask for something significant like $300,000 and the bare coochie shots of Megan Fox you know Michael Bay has somewhere in his collection.

(photo via Celebuzz)

Michael Bay Did Not Get Beat Up in Hong Kong, According to Michael Bay

By Lex October 17, 2013 @ 2:04 PM

First reports came out of the set of Transformers 4 in Hong Kong that Michael Bay got beat up on the set of his own movie by a couple Chinese brothers who shook him down for cash. I think one of the brothers couldn’t be drowned and the other couldn’t be beheaded or some shit like that. The tale of Michael Bay being beat down got around fast. So it took some time before Michael could respond via a P.R. rep to the New York Times with his own accounting of the mugging:

“Contrary to several erroneous news reports made today, Bay did not get hurt in a fight on set. The production company did have a bizarre encounter with a man (allegedly under the influence of a narcotic substance) who was wielding an air conditioning unit as a weapon. The man, who had earlier accosted several other crew members, rushed onto the set in Quarry Bay and swung the air conditioning unit directly at Bay’s head. The director ducked and wrested the air conditioner from his attacker, preventing what could have been a serious accident.”

So, there you have it. Michael Bay didn’t get beat up like the news outlets reported, he actually went all Optimus Prime on a drug addicted Megatron, snagging the air conditioning unit, and saving the day. Pretty fucking heroic really. Also in Michael Bay’s accounting, the bad guy was of alien origin, which quickly pissed off a ton of fat dudes living in their parents’ basements.

Photo Credit: WENN

ok now The Rock is what a bodybuilder looks like

By brendon April 24, 2012 @ 7:23 PM


If you know anything at all about bodybuilding, then you know how laugh-out-loud stupid it was for Michael Bay to cast Mark Wahlberg as a bodybuilder alongside Dwayne Johnson in the movie ‘Pain and Gain’.

As you can see in these pictures taken on set today in Miami, he doesn’t even know how to cycle right so he doesn’t get bloated. He looks absolutely nothing like a real bodybuilder. He looks like an arena league linebacker that running backs would point at as they jog into the end zone.

(image source of johnson, wahlberg and anthony mackie = inf, bauer griffin)

Mark Wahlberg doesnt do his own crunches

By brendon April 02, 2012 @ 4:06 PM


Mark Wahlberg plays a bodybuilder in the new movie ‘Pain and Gain’, directed by Michael Bay, and hopefully they mean in drag as a female bodybuilder because he is nowhere even remotely close to looking like a real bodybuilder. In fact in some of these scenes he’s not even doing his own crunches and has a harness lift him up and down.

They could have cast him as ‘Seabiscuit’ and let Tobey Maguire ride on his back for two hours and it still would have been more believable than letting him play a bodybuilder.

(image source = inf)