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Michael Douglas Monster Dong And Shit Around The Web

Old raw dogMichael Douglas claims that he's packing some heavy meat in his pants. This is also the guy who said he got throat cancer from eating out Catherine Zeta-Jones. Either way, great stories. Me think the lady doth protest too much. (The Superficial) Madison Banes gets naked to report on the death of Nintendo president. (Egotastic All-Stars) The Hulk and the Terminator are old as fuck. (TMZ) Elle France is...read more

Michael Douglas Thinks American Actors Are Effeminate

Michael Douglas has come to the conclusion that British and Aussie male leading actors are snaking all the major studio film roles because American actors have become super pussified. Douglas later hedged and explained that the social media culture in the U.S. encourages male actors to spend time grooming their public images rather than honing their craft. Which I think means banging women with your eyes open so you...read more

Catherine Zeta-Jones And Michael Douglas Don't Look Very Separated

Steven Soderbergh's new play The Library opened in New York City last night, and it was such an important and magical evening that it even managed to bring Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones back together. This miracle of modern love reminded us that the couple had announced its separation almost eight months ago, and it helped show us all that nothing is ever bad enough to make two married actors, 25-years...read more

Michael Douglas Captains the Good Ship Cunnilingus After Separation Announcement

She's bipolar and likes to throw shit. He's got cancer from munching too much dirty box. If these two crazy lovebirds can't cut it in this world, what chance do the rest of us have finding true and lasting love? The good thing about being rich and famous is that even when you're old and getting divorced for the tenth time, you can still go hit the yacht and grab some binoculars to scope out the next younger hot woman...read more

Michael Douglas And Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Done

It has been a little more than four months since Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were photographed together at the 40th anniversary of the Chaplin Award Gala and they'd been going on separate vacations during that time, so I thought everyone already basically assumed that they had divorced. But they were still faking along, pretending to be happy, until People revealed that they're "taking a break" this week,...read more

Did Tainted Box Give Michael Douglas Cancer?

Yep. Looks like it, according to Michael Douglas. And science. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: "No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus." -- The U.K. Guardian Everybody thought Michael Douglas was crazy....read more

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Catherine Zeta Jones is back at work

Just 7 days ago, Catherine Zeta Jones was so depressed and overwhelmed that she checked into a mental health facility to be treated for a bipolar disorder. It was so bad she even turned down a People magazine cover story when they asked to interview her about it. Oh wait never mind. (Jones) realized she needed help in the face of mounting depression. "The simple things would just seem overwhelming, like going out to...read more

Catherine Zeta Jones is bi-polar

The last time we saw Catherine Zeta Jones, she was in London to receive a medal from Prince Charles (wait, what?). She was with her husband Michael Douglas, going through a crowd of paparazzi and then screaming, "How dare you punch me" like a crazy woman (video here). Now it turns out she is crazy. Crazy about hats? Yes! But also regular crazy too. Catherine Zeta-Jones has checked into a hospital for Bipolar II...read more

Michael Douglas thinks he can fight

Entertainment Tonight has video of Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas in London last night, and as they went from their car to their hotel, Jones started screaming hysterically that one of the paparazzi punched her. Then Douglas called the guy an asshole, pushed him, and told him to "get the fuck out of here with that." After that he strutted away triumphantly, still undefeated in fights against people who...read more

Michael Douglas looks... uh... better?

When we last saw Michael Douglas 9 days ago, he looked like he had just punched his way out of a grave, and there was nothing to say but AAAHHH!! But that was right after his fourth and final chemo treatment, so hopefully that was gonna be him at his worst. He actually seemed to be in a good mood yesterday - perhaps because of his snazzy new hat - and though he looked slightly better than he did last week, he's still...read more

Michael Douglas doesnt look so good

On August 31st, Michael Douglas went on David Letterman and revealed that he had been diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer just three weeks earlier. He said he had completed the first of eight weeks of treatment, and he told Dave he was confident he could beat it. Which brings us to today, when an unrecognizable Douglas took his daughter Carys Zeta Douglas to school. And, umm... yikes. This is what he looked like one...read more

Wednesday headlines

MICHAEL DOUGLAS - may lose the ability to speak after his 8 weeks of chemo for throat cancer. So if you need an A-list star in your movie about a mummy, send the script to Michael Douglas. (the sun) SANDRA BULLOCK - says there is no chance at a reconciliation with Jesse James, who has taken the hint and started dating Kat Von D. It's just like the last time I got dumped, except instead of banging new stray pussy, I...read more

Tuesday morning headlines

MICHAEL DOUGLAS - has throat cancer, and is about to start 8 weeks of chemo. And since if he dies, Catherine Zeta Jones will be rich and single, his treatment isn't gonna go so well if you catch my drift. (the sun) LAURENCE FISHBURNE - has spoken to his daughter Montana for the first time since she announced she's going into porn, but it was only to tell her he isn't speaking to her until she gets out of porn. Luckily...read more

Michael Douglas sure is smart

Michael Douglas told the United Nations that it should be embarrassed for failing to reach an agreement on nuclear weapons. During a visit on International Peace Day yesterday, Douglas lashed out at the organization for not addressing the nuclear issue at a summit last week. "We could not come up with any wording or phrasing regarding the issues of nuclear proliferation. Hopefully the silence of that is going to be...read more