BRUNO - as expected won the box office this weekend, pulling in $30.4m in it’s debut. That’s way less than the 50m some Hollywood insiders were suggesting on Friday, but keep in mind, no one in Hollywood has any idea what the fuck they’re talking about. (variety)
MICHAEL JACKSON - as far back as 1993 Jackson was having doctors issue prescriptions in other people names to score pain killers for him. In a related story, I had to go to 2 different doctors to get 2 percent hydrocortisone cream after stepping in poison oak. You rich people can suck my dick. (source = tmz)
UFC - picked a new ring girl this weekend as part of UFC 100. Her name is Natasha, and she’s adorable but not as hot as Arianny Celeste. Actually, who cares, LOOK AT DAN HENDERSON! 4 seconds after the great Joe Rogan says if Michael Bisping keeps drifting left he’s gonna get annihilated, Michael Bisping drifts left and gets annihilated. If Henderson hit him any harder, Bisping would have just burst into flames. (source = splash news online)
The National Enquirer goes on sale today with a cover story claiming Michael Jackson took… well I mean you can see it. It’s right there.
That’s more than 50 pills a day … more than 30 different types of drugs “for a variety of real and imagined” problems, according to police sources close to the official investigation.
“He was literally living on drugs,” a close source divulged.
Well, he wasn’t “literally” living on drugs but whatever. We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. What’s the recommended daily allowance on painkillers? Is it four? Because he was taking four. Maybe he wasn’t getting enough from his diet alone. And what better way to know what sedative or stimulants work best than to put 8 of them in your system at the same time and let em fight it out?
In all likelihood, Michael Jacksons memorial service was the most watched funeral or whatever thing of all time. More than 31 million people watched the service on television, the third highest number ever for a televised funeral, only behind Princess Diana in 1997 (33 million) and President Ronald Reagan in 2004 (35 million). Putting Jackson on top was the millions more who watched online. MSNBC reported nearly 19 million streams, CNN had 10.5 million, and ABC had 6. Add it all up and it’s well over 1 million people (I’m not good with numbers).
By most accounts, the defining moment was when Paris Jackson spoke. I know I’ll never forget where I was when she got pushed to the mic against her will. I was over there, on the couch, taking a nap. Jesus that shit was boring.
MILEY CYRUS - Popeater has some uncomfortably sexy pictures of Miley from this months Elle magazine. Is it wrong to objectify a young religious teenager in a fashion magazine? Even I have lines that can’t be crossed. That’s not one of them though. (popeater)
ASHLEY OLSEN - has confirmed she’s given up acting to work full-time in fashion. Meaning “How The West Was Fun” can never be topped. (source = star)
LORD EVIL - aka Black Voldemort, has been identified. The man who startled the world when he sang at Michael Jackson’s memorial yesterday is Darryl Phinnessee, a longtime Jackson session musician. Uh, Phinnessee? Really? Is that a name or did a cat write that part of the story? (source = mtv)
KATY PERRY - played the Main Square Festival in Arras, France this week. As always, one second she was hot, the next it was right back to annoying. It really is like she’s just screwin with us at this point. (hq jump = here)
I’m just gonna add pictures and updates here all day. All the networks are running live coverage of course. In fact one just said if the dam were to break, thousands would be killed almost instantly. But that’s because I was watching Mega Disasters on The History Channel instead.
9:54am - Michael Jacksons golden casket has just arrived at Staples Center. The memorial will not be on time, but is expected to last well over 90 minutes. There appears to be no new information about the dam. Won’t someone help those poor people!
It would be awesome if those drums were Decepticons waiting to pounce on everyone involved with Michael Jacksons memorial later this morning. Seems unlikely. Hopefully you’re fascinated by all this because today is gonna be dominated by Michael Jackson like it was a drugged up little boy. Here’s the latest:
- The memorial from Staples is expected to begin in just over one hour, at 10am pct, 1pm ect.
- Family and friends arrived at Forest Lawn cemetery just about an hour ago (8am pct, 11am ect) for a private memorial. He will not be buried obviously, as his body will then be taken to Staples Center and placed on stage for the public memorial.
- Jacksons body will be escorted from Forest Lawn by a SWAT team, or maybe even flown on a fire department helicopter if the already “heavy” police escort is not enough.
- Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, the surviving Jackson brothers, Stevie Wonder and Usher will all perform, and rumor is John Mayer, Lionel Richie, Smokey Robinson, Beyonce and Whitney Houston could as well.
The public part of all this - the escorts, police presence, securing the freeways and area around Staples - is expected to cost well over 4 million. That of course will be paid for by the City of Los Angeles. 4 million is a lot of money to throw away on a private citizens funeral, but considering none of the Jackson actually live or pay taxes there, it makes sense.
