Lindsay Lohan's Parents Unite Around Rich Boyfriend

Lindsay Lohan may beengaged to a wealthy kid from RussiawhereMean Girls is still the number one movie on Pirate Bay. Lohan's parents canceled snorting and drinking and beating the crap out of each other for one evening of detente to express their mutual affection for 22-year oldEgor Tarabasov who they've never met in person. That can't be an unintentional oversight. Michael Lohan: He has a lot of strong connections in...read more

Lindsay Lohan Got A New Mommy

Michael Lohan decided not to tell his kids that he was making an honest woman out of Kate Major the second she got out of jail gestating his second bastard child. It's kind of romantic in an abandoned building shooting gallery love affair kind of way. Having his celebrity kids attend the wedding would've turned the entire event into a media circus rather than the quiet Satanic letting of the blood in the name of the...read more

Michael Lohan Hires Casey Anthony's Attorney to Thwart Vaginal Bleeding

I thought we had come together as a society and decided eugenics were okey-dokey for crack whores and the Lohans. So, crack whores. But, no, Michael Lohan got his drug and alcohol addicted latest wife pregnant again. Now she's in a Palm Beach jail for violating probation and her fecund lady parts are bleeding and nobody seems to care. Except Casey Anthony's attorney who Lohan hired to make somebody care about the...read more

Michael Lohan Nobly Blames Himself for Lindsay's Drug Problems

Just when you thought Michael Lohan couldn't be more of a Sir Walter Raleigh figure, he goes and takes the blame for Lindsay turning from a teen party girl into a 20-something fall down drunk and drug addict. "It was not her fault. I love her for saying that, but there was no need to say it." Specifically, Michael blames his divorce from Dina as the trigger for Lindsay's substance abuse. Which is a nice way of not...read more

Lindsay Lohan Is Supposedly Sober Again

If Lindsay Lohan is smart – big if – she's using her time at the Betty Ford Clinic to plan something really insane for when she tries to make her next comeback and needs to take back her crown as Queen Meltdown from Amanda Bynes. Because, let's face it, nobody is going to hire Lindsay to work on another movie or TV show, when her last two co-stars – porn star James Deen and Charlie Sheen – complained about how...read more

here are the black eye picturers Dina Lohan talked about

Yesterday, the Daily News had an interview with Dina Lohan where she mentioned some pictures of her with a black eye that she (allegedly) got after Michael Lohan gave her a few Irish kisses when Lindsay was a baby. Well now Entertainment Tonight has those pictures, because apparently they pay more than the Daily News. Dina revealed details about the alleged abuse, saying, "I will tell my story ... about abuse and how...read more

Lindsay Lohans dad was arrested again

Much like Mel Gibson before him, Michael Lohan was arrested last night in Florida for attacking his girlfriend after she refused to give him a blow job. Women really don't seem to understand how awesome blowjobs are. According to the police report, Lohan "grabbed and squeezed" (Kate) Major's arms and repeatedly pushed her to the ground in Tuesday's incident, leaving her bruised. Police said they arrived to a tense...read more

monday night headlines

PEOPLE WHO READ TYLER - are concerned. About something. I'm not sure what though. Earthquakes? That can't be right. For future reference, if you want me to read your email, don't be real hot and certainly don't include pictures where I can look down your shirt. This link could give everyone some terrible virus for all I know, or just be a .pdf with my social security number, birthday and credit scores. (blaghag) DINA...read more

"...kicked her in the vagina."

Lindsay Lohans' dad Michael was arrested on December 14th for violating a restraining order put on him by his ex girlfriend Erin Muller, and yesterday Muller stepped things up by filing papers with a New York court claiming Lohan beat her at least a dozen times during their 2-year relationship. Some of the highlights... Dec. 9, 2007: Michael Lohan "slapped Erin in the face twice because Erin accused him of giving her...read more

michael lohan is in big trouble. but not really.

Do you see now why a Lindsay picture ban is long overdue? But, whatever. More to the point, TMZ has lost their minds. Today they have the breathless headline that Michael Lohan may face jail time because he gave Radar Online recordings of several phone calls between himself, Lindsay and his ex wife Dina. Michael Lohan could wind up behind bars for his despicable decision to release secret recordings of his family's...read more