Tuesday Afternoon Headlines

By brendon January 15, 2013 @ 6:55 PM

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JESSICA SIMPSON – is in talks with NBC for a sitcom that “would feature Simpson playing a version of herself in a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style look at her life”. And it can’t possibly fail because improv is the perfect vehicle for this quick-witted legend of comedy. (tv guide)

RUSSELL CROWE – might be dating “burlesque goddess” Dita Von Teese, who has somehow totally escaped her past as a “spread-eagle girl having sex with a popsicle goddess”. For the record, it might not be the best idea in the world for a guy with his temper to date a girl who is super super pale.(page six)

BEN AFFLECK – will have a tough time winning the Oscar for Best Picture even though his movie ‘Argo’ just won the Golden Globe for Best Picture. His best bet is for lots of old voters to think they’re voting for ‘Fargo’. (huff post)

TAYLOR SWIFT – has a crush on Bradley Cooper, so she had Jennifer Lawrence ask Bradley if he wanted to go out with her. The response: “Bradley has absolutely no intention of getting together with Taylor.” So then Taylor asked, “What does he mean ‘no intention‘? So he really wants to date me but thinks you can’t plan love? Oh my gaad, why do guys always have to play these games, why can’t they just be honest!” (radar)

MICHELLE KEEGAN – is an English actress in the new issue of Zoo, and she’s in a bikini but who cares about that? What I wanna know is if her eyes are the same size, and what insect does her eyebrow look like? This magazine is really out of touch.

Afternoon headlines

By brendon August 18, 2009 @ 5:35 PM

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MICHAEL JACKSON – The AP confirms today he will be buried on August 29, but that “details about the ceremony have been tightly guarded.” They go on to confirm that Jackson will be buried in a private ceremony at Forest Lawn-Glendale on the Holly Terrace at the cemetery’s Great Mausoleum, about 8 miles north of downtown Los Angeles. What, no longitude and latitude? Wow, these details are closely guarded. (source = ap)

SEAN PENN – his wife has filed for divorce again. It’s the third time in 2 years they’ve filed paperwork for this. She must be crazy. Guys who can make strange comments about oil and war and then sulk about it don’t just grow on trees. (source = e!)

MICHELLE KEEGAN – I don’t put up very much eye candy for the ladies, so if you look past UK soap star Michelle Keegans huge breasts there’s a little sumpin-sumpin to make everything better. Although I had to edit him out of the full size pics due to space constraints. :(   (full size jump here)