Michelle Lewin In a Thong

By Lex May 21, 2014 @ 3:09 PM

Michelle Lewin Goes For A Swim In A Thong Bikini In Miami
The Islamic Fundamentalists and my mom may not agree with women shaking their bare asses in public, but who actually believes that a higher power would invent such an ass only to demand that it be covered. Reconcile your good books with basic truths. To create something magnificent only to withhold it from others, that’s the devil’s work. So, I ask you, who is the more pious? The burqa beaters or the Venezuelan fitness model with the wet ass? Fuck you, Al Qaeda. And mom, just a little bit.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin Has a Powerful Thong

By Lex May 08, 2014 @ 3:53 PM

Michelle Lewin Relaxes In A Thong Bikini Poolside In Miami
There’s a fine line between a woman with a toned body and a woman with enough muscle to kick your ass when you ask her if her competitively slutty sister can come stay with you when she’s next out of rehab. Michelle Lewin is right on that fine line. I’m not scared of strong women, I’m frightened to death of strong women. Her tits alone look like they could twist my arm behind my back and make me say Uncle. She can probably crack a walnut between her vulva. I’d probably pay to see it. But the whole sculpted package makes me nervous. A BBW with respiratory issues isn’t going to give you that kind of angst.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin Has a Nice Ass

By Lex April 03, 2014 @ 1:53 PM

Michelle Lewin Shows Off Her Booty In Tights In Miami
I heard a guy say he saw a girl with an ass so tight she could crack a walnut between her cheeks. Even having witnessed a girl deal a hand of poker from a deck in her vagina, I think the walnut business may be more of a metaphor than an actual crushing force scientific fact. Thankfully, Miami law requires girls like Michelle Lewin to workout in tight clothes in public so we can even have these kinds of debates in the first place. It’s a slightly better ¬†ordinance than the one in San Francisco requiring fat men to sit naked on bus benches. Word to the wise, don’t lick the bus benches in San Francisco.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Michelle Lewin Has One Swell Behind

By Lex March 14, 2014 @ 6:48 PM

Michelle Lewin Works Out In Short Shorts At The Beach In Miami
I feel like this Venezuelan fitness instructor would make a good wife. Especially if you were wagoning out to settle the West. She’s strong and firm and has a solid breeding ass. I don’t know what a breeding ass is really, but I’d have to believe that hers falls into the solid category. That might seem objectifying, but I think it’s truly a compliment for a woman working out her ass in a public space in tight shorts with lots of grunts. She’s also from South America, so if she went missing after an unwitnessed cougar attack, there probably wouldn’t be an investigation. I’m not saying she would go missing, I’m just saying I’d subtly bring that kind of thing up when she was yelling at me for being lazy and soft.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin Has Muscles Everywhere

By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 4:36 PM

Michelle Lewin Goes For A Jog In Short Shorts In Beverly Hills

I know how much I hate it when photographers ask if they can take my picture during my eighteen minute workouts. One time I appeared on the cover of Fat Fuck magazine without so much as request for my consent. But I’m guessing this chick Michelle Lewin from Venezuela minds a little less.You don’t start pulling down the shorts for the paparazzi in Miami unless you know you’ve done a crunch or two.I know Obama’s busy writing angry letters to the editor, but we probably should send a few Chinooks into Venezuela and pick up the hot women before they all get picked off in the tin can revolution. If you’re sexy and you want to live, get on the chopper!

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Michelle Lewin Is Famous for Her Ass

By Lex January 27, 2014 @ 2:54 PM

Michelle Lewin Films A Butt Work Out Video In Miami
Being famous for your ass might seem a minor dignity, but compare it to being famous for being dead, a drug addict, or looking like the ghost of Roy Rogers and you’ll realize that Michelle Lewin has a better reason to be famous than anybody else on this site today. She has 650,000 followers on Instagram¬†now because of her tight cakes. Like all Internet and social media outlets, Instagram began as a means for teen girls to talk stupidly to one another but eventually morphed into a place for grown men to jack off. There’s not a revolution even yet conceived to keep men with their dicks in their hands from ruling this planet. The upshot — eight billion free pictures of Michelle Lewin’s ass.

Photo Credit: Splash