By Lex April 03, 2014 @ 1:53 PM
I heard a guy say he saw a girl with an ass so tight she could crack a walnut between her cheeks. Even having witnessed a girl deal a hand of poker from a deck in her vagina, I think the walnut business may be more of a metaphor than an actual crushing force scientific fact. Thankfully, Miami law requires girls like Michelle Lewin to workout in tight clothes in public so we can even have these kinds of debates in the first place. It’s a slightly better ordinance than the one in San Francisco requiring fat men to sit naked on bus benches. Word to the wise, don’t lick the bus benches in San Francisco.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Lex March 14, 2014 @ 6:48 PM
I feel like this Venezuelan fitness instructor would make a good wife. Especially if you were wagoning out to settle the West. She’s strong and firm and has a solid breeding ass. I don’t know what a breeding ass is really, but I’d have to believe that hers falls into the solid category. That might seem objectifying, but I think it’s truly a compliment for a woman working out her ass in a public space in tight shorts with lots of grunts. She’s also from South America, so if she went missing after an unwitnessed cougar attack, there probably wouldn’t be an investigation. I’m not saying she would go missing, I’m just saying I’d subtly bring that kind of thing up when she was yelling at me for being lazy and soft.
Photo Credit: Splash
By Lex March 04, 2014 @ 4:36 PM
I know how much I hate it when photographers ask if they can take my picture during my eighteen minute workouts. One time I appeared on the cover of Fat Fuck magazine without so much as request for my consent. But I’m guessing this chick Michelle Lewin from Venezuela minds a little less.You don’t start pulling down the shorts for the paparazzi in Miami unless you know you’ve done a crunch or two.I know Obama’s busy writing angry letters to the editor, but we probably should send a few Chinooks into Venezuela and pick up the hot women before they all get picked off in the tin can revolution. If you’re sexy and you want to live, get on the chopper!
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex January 27, 2014 @ 2:54 PM
Being famous for your ass might seem a minor dignity, but compare it to being famous for being dead, a drug addict, or looking like the ghost of Roy Rogers and you’ll realize that Michelle Lewin has a better reason to be famous than anybody else on this site today. She has 650,000 followers on Instagram now because of her tight cakes. Like all Internet and social media outlets, Instagram began as a means for teen girls to talk stupidly to one another but eventually morphed into a place for grown men to jack off. There’s not a revolution even yet conceived to keep men with their dicks in their hands from ruling this planet. The upshot — eight billion free pictures of Michelle Lewin’s ass.
Photo Credit: Splash