Michelle Lewin in A Thong

By Lex December 16, 2014 @ 10:12 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Thong Bikini While Taking Her Raft To The Pool In Miami
I don’t care how many unattended kids suffocate under the rafts, I’d like to see twenty of these Venezuelan chicks with sub-muscular implants floating around my apartment community pool. It’s perish in Caracas or come and tilt your thong toward the American sun and wait for news that Obama has granted immunity to your six unemployed uncles. Life becomes much simpler when everybody in the world wants to nail you.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin in a Thong

By Lex November 28, 2014 @ 10:49 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Thong Bikini On The Beach In Miami
Like many other idiots, each Thanksgiving I feel compelled to visit relatives who live in as cold a fucking place as can support some level of human life. The ice age didn’t just sweep over our tropical environs while we were sleeping on a Tuesday night. It took eons. You’ve had fucking eons to move south, moron relatives. The birds figured it out. Then Jews from New York. It’s time for my inbred lot to caravan south until they see this Venezuelan chick on Miami Beach. I don’t need hearty meatballs at Thanksgiving. I want to see chicks in thongs exfoliating their asses on palm tree trunks.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin in A Bikini

By Lex October 02, 2014 @ 10:40 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Bikini In Miami Beach
These international models slash fitness instructors slash dating nightclub owners with unnervingly bushy eyebrows girls are like walking works of art. Just look at this chick. What can’t plastic surgery, lax customs laws, and six hours a day in the gym buy you to decorate your beach? If you can program her not to scream on the phone in Spanish during the game, I might just marry her.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin In A Thong Bikini

By Lex August 07, 2014 @ 12:58 PM

Michelle Lewin Relaxes Poolside In A Thong Bikini In Miami
Forget what I said about that last girl, I want this girl. Big fake tits and ass muscles that could Jaws of Life crash victims right out of crumpled cars. I need a girl who will tell me what to do, who my friends are, and threaten me with the Frigidaire side by side high over her head if I talk back. People mock being a bitch, but it’s a simple life. If you spend just ten minutes a day making decisions, that’s sixty hours a year you just saved by having somebody else make them for you. That’s a lot of time you could be dusting and killing it at Candy Crush.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin In A Thong Bikini

By Lex July 25, 2014 @ 11:42 AM

Michelle Lewin In A Thong Bikini At The Beach In Miami
Michelle Lewin keeps her taint positioned eternally toward Orion’s Belt, with Orion being the Latino pimp who smuggled her out of Venezuela and taught her how to spit polish her bare ass for the gringos. Everything Michelle does, from checking her text messages to giggling at Sabado Gigante like no American could, she does with her ass tilted up toward the heavens. I’d complain, but it’s fucking amazing.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin In a Thong

By Lex May 21, 2014 @ 3:09 PM

Michelle Lewin Goes For A Swim In A Thong Bikini In Miami
The Islamic Fundamentalists and my mom may not agree with women shaking their bare asses in public, but who actually believes that a higher power would invent such an ass only to demand that it be covered. Reconcile your good books with basic truths. To create something magnificent only to withhold it from others, that’s the devil’s work. So, I ask you, who is the more pious? The burqa beaters or the Venezuelan fitness model with the wet ass? Fuck you, Al Qaeda. And mom, just a little bit.

Photo Credit: Splash