Michelle Lewin in A Bikini

By Lex June 08, 2015 @ 12:16 PM

Michelle Lewin Gets Wet In A Thong Bikini In Miami
Is it acceptable that fitness trainers have so many contrived body parts? I consider it the height of the craft. Since when did we start labeling certain sciences as more decent than any others. The science of nutrition, the science of body building, and the science of injecting shit into your tits and ass and cleaving a rib or three from your thorax are all under the same umbrella of fuckability studies. You’re not escaping Venezuela with just a Xeroxed spin class teaching certificate and hope. Back up to the silicone dispenser and deposit five generations of your family’s bolĂ­vars. Miami doesn’t believe in tears.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Michelle Lewin’s Thong Is A Thing Of Beauty And Shit Around The Web

By Michael May 06, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Michelle Lewin may not be entirely made of human flesh, but whoever built her did one amazing job. Nobody bitches about a Ferrari being built in factory. Shut the fuck up and imagine she’s your girlfriend.

Michelle Lewin has an ass built for power. (Egotastic)

Camille Kostek’s Instagram is a litany of hotness. (TMZ)

Kardashian butt dingleberry Jonathan Chaban goes after STI petrie dish Amber Rose. (Huffington Post)

Selena Gomez remembers she’s Mexican for Cinco de Mayo. (Drunken Stepfather)

This is Alberte Valentine and these are her tits. (Hollywood Tuna)

Alexis Ren models red bikinis for you. (Popoholic)

Sexy fangirls show off their titties. (The Chive)

Michelle Lewin in a Bikini Top

By Lex February 02, 2015 @ 9:48 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Bikini Top While Rollerblading In Venice Beach
The way they back this chick out of the Knight Rider big rig each weekend looking like she does is nothing short of technology remarkable. If I had one of these I’d dress her exactly like this and set her to auto-pilot and pretend she was my girlfriend. Roll forward, left, right, half smile when I tell the guys at work how we spent all weekend in bed. Now, blast through the back of that Arby’s and get me a brisket sandwich. I don’t have time for lines and your battery life sucks.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin in A Thong

By Lex December 16, 2014 @ 10:12 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Thong Bikini While Taking Her Raft To The Pool In Miami
I don’t care how many unattended kids suffocate under the rafts, I’d like to see twenty of these Venezuelan chicks with sub-muscular implants floating around my apartment community pool. It’s perish in Caracas or come and tilt your thong toward the American sun and wait for news that Obama has granted immunity to your six unemployed uncles. Life becomes much simpler when everybody in the world wants to nail you.

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin Gets Frisky In Thong Bikini By The Pool In Miami

By Lex December 03, 2014 @ 9:52 AM

Michelle Lewin Gets Frisky In Thong Bikini By The Pool In Miami

Photo Credit: Splash

Michelle Lewin in a Thong

By Lex November 28, 2014 @ 10:49 AM

Michelle Lewin Wears A Thong Bikini On The Beach In Miami
Like many other idiots, each Thanksgiving I feel compelled to visit relatives who live in as cold a fucking place as can support some level of human life. The ice age didn’t just sweep over our tropical environs while we were sleeping on a Tuesday night. It took eons. You’ve had fucking eons to move south, moron relatives. The birds figured it out. Then Jews from New York. It’s time for my inbred lot to caravan south until they see this Venezuelan chick on Miami Beach. I don’t need hearty meatballs at Thanksgiving. I want to see chicks in thongs exfoliating their asses on palm tree trunks.

Photo Credit: Splash