Malia Obama Smoking the Good Stuff

August 11, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Kids are total sellouts today. There was a time when the school security officer came by and asked who the joint on the ground belonged to and everybody shut their trap. Now there’s money in ratting. Some kid shot video of Malia Obama at Lolapalooza where she went instead of the DNC to hear Hillary Clinton’s speech because why the fuck wouldn’t you if given that choice.


Dancing W Captures Our Hearts (VIDEO)

July 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There are certain signs you don’t get out much. George W. Bush was first to the dance floor during the Battle Hymn of the Republic at the heavy hearted service for the assassinated police officers in Dallas. The man just loves to dance. Michelle Obama pinched out the face of the popular girl in Middle School forced to hold the special kid’s hand during the Spring musical.


Michelle Obama Can’t Wait For This Shit to Be Over

November 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While Barack is off testing the phrase ‘ragamuffins’ as an endearing euphemism for Islamic terrorists, Michelle Obama is left carrying the water for the administration on making kids cry out for more healthy food choices. With zero evidence her multi-year agenda is working she’s doubled down with her FNV campaign. That’s Fruits and Vegetables if […]


Obamas Open Up About Being Treated Crappy

December 18, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

With all the Ferguson and Eric Garner protests going on, The Obamas turned to the hard-hitting People magazine to remind less educated Americans that they have racism stories too. Michelle Obama shared the time somebody mistook her for an employee at Target when she was shopping there on some publicity stunt and asked her to […]


Starving Kids Enjoying Healthy Michelle Obama Lunches More and More

July 31, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

All that hubbub about how school kids across the country were spitting out Michelle Obama’s soy milk curried couscous¬†into the trash can and skipping the new cheap healthy cafeteria meals altogether can be put to rest. Quite coincidentally, a public university in Obama’s hometown of Chicago did a vaguely scientific study where some small number […]


The Kids All Hate Michelle Obama

May 7, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The teens always have to be bitching and moaning about something. Currently, it’s Michelle Obama sneaking into school cafeterias late night and replacing all the good tasting crappy food with crappy tasting good food. Except it’s not really good food, it’s just less unhealthy. And the kids are fucking outraged. I could show you a […]


Kanye Believes He and Kim Are More Important Than the Obamas

October 31, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Kanye West is having another bout of saying shit that makes sense in his world. This time he’s claiming that the Blessed He and Kim are more influential than President Obama and his wife Michelle. It all went down when the megalomaniacal semi-decent rapper sat down with fancy lad Ryan Seacrest for an interview. According […]