Michelle Rodriguez Wants to Buy a Baby

By Lex January 16, 2015 @ 9:29 AM

Michelle Rodriguez Wears A Bra For Interview
Michelle Rodriguez did another interview where she said she’d never be in a long term relationship because why the hell would you when you can fuck Zac Efron on your rented yacht, pull into port, then fuck Cara Delevingne in the ladies room at a Knicks game without even douching. That’s just thinking like a man. But, Rodriguez is naturally drawn to the idea of renting a chick to make her a baby so she can have something to call her own:

You might get lucky enough to find that unconditional love in a friend or a lover, but it’s very rare. So if I ever have a kid, it’d be so that I could look in those eyes and know that this child is a piece of me and will love me the same way I love, but I think that’s selfish of me.

No, Don’t even think that. Dogs are great, but no matter how the nanny coaxes, they’ll never utter ‘Mommy, I miss you’ into the phone for you to hear while you’re finger banging Portia De Rossi in a rebound fling on a Kenyan glamping safari. Lots of women and unemployed Central American men feel that yearning to make babies to have something to call their own. Don’t think of it as selfish, call it something else, like totally unselfish. You’re famous enough that your friends and the magazines will go along with it.

Michelle Rodriguez In A Black Bikini

By Lex August 07, 2014 @ 9:15 AM

Michelle Rodriguez In A Black Bikini On A Yacht In Sardinia
Michelle Rodriguez fucked the gay into Cara Delevingne. She fucked the gay out of Zac Efron. Now she’s just fucking tired. Her work is exhausting. Floating around on the prow of her ship looking for wandering souls with confused genitalia desperate for answers. Where will Michelle and her salty smelling ship of state sail to next? Who knows. Set sail for vagina adventure is all Michelle barks out to the ghost captain. Onward, onward, into the breach.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Michelle Rodriguez Fucks the Gay Out of Zac Efron

By Lex August 04, 2014 @ 9:24 AM

Michelle Rodriguez In A Bikini Top With Zac Efron On A Yacht In Ibiza
At this point, Michelle Rodriguez is merely toying with the true depth of her sex powers. She’s like Zod with a vagina. She can fuck the gay into people. Now she’s trying to fuck the gay out of Zac Efron. That’s like earning a perfect ten in gymnastics before Nadia Comaneci. It seems inconceivable. But Zac jetted out from Los Angeles direct to Michelle’s Atlantis compound in the Riviera to be de-gay-programmed through an intensive regimen of gluten, pretending to know shit about cars, and Michelle’s super twat that encased Efron for an entire weekend as she read off the list of names of famous male models and socked him every time she felt a twinge. Michelle Rodriguez is still in her caterpillar stage. When she goes full butterfly don’t be surprised to see her spread eagle atop the Freedom Tower causing all of lower Manhattan to feel a longing in their genitalia.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

Michelle Rodriguez In A Bikini

By Lex July 31, 2014 @ 9:09 AM

Michelle Rodriguez In A Striped Bikini On A Yacht In Ibiza
Michelle Rodriguez had her stank gun spread and ready as Justin Bieber raced toward her yacht on his midget retreat dinghy, still freshly tattered from his bar room kerfuffle. Michelle Rodriguez’s bisexual vagina watercraft is where Hollywood now heads when it’s confused or wounded or just wants somebody Spanish to shove a dildo up their orifice and tell them not to cry. Justin would be wise not to taunt Michelle with how he fucked any of her girlfriends. She doesn’t punch like Orlando Bloom.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com

Michelle Rodriguez Isn’t A Lesbian Anymore And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 08, 2014 @ 12:49 PM


Remember when Michelle Rodriguez was a lesbian? Yeah, well she’s not anymore. Apparently, she’s been spotted making out on vacation with Zac Efron. I guess he’s a comfortable transition back to dick. Like a pretty girl with a cock. I’m thinking about this way too much.

Read more about Michelle’s return to man parts. (Dlisted)

Do you like looking at Rihanna’s nipples? Of course you do. (Drunken Stepfather)

Emmy Rossum Instagrams some pics of her in a bikini and all is right in the world. (Popoholic)

“Opie and Anthony” host fired from SiriusXM for being a racist douche. (The Superficial)

Jennifer Lawrence shows off her talents. Well, some side-talent anyway. (COED)

Sofia Vergara is porking the werewolf dude from “True Blood”. (Huffington Post)

Leo DiCaprio is slowly turning into Jack Nicholson. But, like, Jack Nicholson at 77. (Fox News)

Photo credit: AKM/GSI

Michelle Rodriguez Is on Fire

By Lex July 02, 2014 @ 5:55 PM

Michelle Rodriguez Does Backflips Off A Yacht In A Black Bikini In Sardinia
If Michelle Rodriguez told me she’d finally built that escalator to the moon, I’d ask her how much for a ticket. She’s like Gandalf with tits and and an overbite. She can have any man or woman she wants merely by popping  a couple 40′s into brown paper bags and asking her mark if they want to make out in the park. She’s like a bisexual Leo Dicaprio. But that’s far too hard to imagine so I just fucked my final metaphor. There’s two ways you can come out on a crappy actress who’s made thirty million acting. I choose the side of placating Michelle so she won’t snap her fingers and make my bitch dog suddenly like women.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI