By Lex August 07, 2015 @ 12:24 PM
Michelle Rodriguez pulled anchor on her lesbian love boat and set a course for adventure off the coast of Italy. It’s like when the Barbary pirates arrived and hung their flag in the harbor. Shore folk were equal parts frightened and excited, divided along the lines of whether you were to be run through or heartily fucked that evening. If you’re a 20-something woman with a slightly shaved beaver and can handle Michelle’s naturally pudgy fingers, consider yourself excited. Davy Jones Locker is loaded with latex toys.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex July 27, 2015 @ 11:57 AM
Michelle Rodriguez doesn’t have time for the idiotic am I or am I not a lesbian celebrity crap. You’re fronting on Twitter while she’s boning women two at a time. Rodriguez rents a yacht literally called the Ecstasea off the coast of St. Tropez and shuttles celebrity and non celebrity chicks out to her floating poon palace. She only breaks for bad-ass water sports and to let the men of the world know she’s fucking all their ladies. It’d be disheartening if there wasn’t so much admiration involved. I don’t root for Kevin Durant, but when he’s on a crazy roll, I just have to applaud. This is just like that. If Kevin Durant were fucking your wife, mom, and sister and you were still applauding.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex July 23, 2015 @ 11:10 AM
If I had to guess which of these models Michelle Rodriguez dug to the third knuckle last night, I’m selecting the Canadian blond chick she made go out in just her underwear. That’s a boss move. All the world’s best looking women showed in St. Tropez to raise money for Leonardo DiCaprio’s environmental foundation nobody would ever bother to audit. DiCaprio rents out a Riviera ballroom every year and shows a bunch of models how his cock feels better than rhino horn, spanks them on the ass and orders them to run off and tell the world. It’s not proven particularly effective in relation to saving rhinos, but you bang a dozen Victoria’s Secret models and tell me that’s not a successful charity.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By Lex May 19, 2015 @ 9:34 AM
Each May, Michelle Rodriquez and her love boat troll the French Riviera on a hot girl pussy hunt. Rodriguez entices the women attending the Cannes film festival to come take a three hour tour in lawless international waters. You gotta see the fish. That’s Leo DiCaprio’s ex-girlfriend Toni Garrn. Does she know she’s about to have Michelle Rodriguez’ snatch pressed so hard up against her mouth she can taste her future babies? Probably. It’s hard to get a reaction out of a supermodel.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Jack March 02, 2015 @ 12:00 PM
Michelle Rodriguez got panties in a bunch over the weekend by saying that minorities shouldn’t steal superhero roles from white male actors she likes to bone when hetero phasing. She said instead minorities should push for new minority superheroes to play in their own movies. The day Hollywood does that I’ll saw off my own dick.
Read Michelle stick her foot in her mouth. (Huffington Post)
You know what’s awesome? Big titties. (The Chive)
Maitland Ward can barely fit her tits in this Silk Spectre costume. (Egotastic)
Eddie Murphy’s ex-wife Nicole Murphy is MILFtastic. (TMZ)
Ashley Benson is covered topless for your viewing pleasure. (Drunken Stepfather)
Bella Thorne is hot in leather pants, but they’d look better on my floor. (Hollywood Tuna)
Jessica Perez looks better in a bikini than your girlfriend. (Popoholic)
By Lex January 16, 2015 @ 9:29 AM
Michelle Rodriguez did another interview where she said she’d never be in a long term relationship because why the hell would you when you can fuck Zac Efron on your rented yacht, pull into port, then fuck Cara Delevingne in the ladies room at a Knicks game without even douching. That’s just thinking like a man. But, Rodriguez is naturally drawn to the idea of renting a chick to make her a baby so she can have something to call her own:
You might get lucky enough to find that unconditional love in a friend or a lover, but it’s very rare. So if I ever have a kid, it’d be so that I could look in those eyes and know that this child is a piece of me and will love me the same way I love, but I think that’s selfish of me.
No, Don’t even think that. Dogs are great, but no matter how the nanny coaxes, they’ll never utter ‘Mommy, I miss you’ into the phone for you to hear while you’re finger banging Portia De Rossi in a rebound fling on a Kenyan glamping safari. Lots of women and unemployed Central American men feel that yearning to make babies to have something to call their own. Don’t think of it as selfish, call it something else, like totally unselfish. You’re famous enough that your friends and the magazines will go along with it.