By Lex July 31, 2014 @ 9:09 AM
Michelle Rodriguez had her stank gun spread and ready as Justin Bieber raced toward her yacht on his midget retreat dinghy, still freshly tattered from his bar room kerfuffle. Michelle Rodriguez’s bisexual vagina watercraft is where Hollywood now heads when it’s confused or wounded or just wants somebody Spanish to shove a dildo up their orifice and tell them not to cry. Justin would be wise not to taunt Michelle with how he fucked any of her girlfriends. She doesn’t punch like Orlando Bloom.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com
By Jack July 08, 2014 @ 12:49 PM
Remember when Michelle Rodriguez was a lesbian? Yeah, well she’s not anymore. Apparently, she’s been spotted making out on vacation with Zac Efron. I guess he’s a comfortable transition back to dick. Like a pretty girl with a cock. I’m thinking about this way too much.
Read more about Michelle’s return to man parts. (Dlisted)
Do you like looking at Rihanna’s nipples? Of course you do. (Drunken Stepfather)
Emmy Rossum Instagrams some pics of her in a bikini and all is right in the world. (Popoholic)
“Opie and Anthony” host fired from SiriusXM for being a racist douche. (The Superficial)
Jennifer Lawrence shows off her talents. Well, some side-talent anyway. (COED)
Sofia Vergara is porking the werewolf dude from “True Blood”. (Huffington Post)
Leo DiCaprio is slowly turning into Jack Nicholson. But, like, Jack Nicholson at 77. (Fox News)
Photo credit: AKM/GSI
By Lex July 02, 2014 @ 5:55 PM
If Michelle Rodriguez told me she’d finally built that escalator to the moon, I’d ask her how much for a ticket. She’s like Gandalf with tits and and an overbite. She can have any man or woman she wants merely by popping a couple 40′s into brown paper bags and asking her mark if they want to make out in the park. She’s like a bisexual Leo Dicaprio. But that’s far too hard to imagine so I just fucked my final metaphor. There’s two ways you can come out on a crappy actress who’s made thirty million acting. I choose the side of placating Michelle so she won’t snap her fingers and make my bitch dog suddenly like women.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex May 23, 2014 @ 4:34 PM
Here’s the subtext for this photo. Fuck you, dudes, I’m taking all your hot pussy and there’s nothing you can do about it. This isn’t an activist thing or a gay marriage thing or an I’m coming out the closet so catch me with your warm hands thing. This is a I know how to get chicks in the sack and make them scream their fucking heads off kind of thing. It’s simple, it’s pure, it’s supported by fact. You win, Michelle Rodriguez. Tell me where to ship my nuts.
Photo Credit: INFphoto.com
By Travis May 12, 2014 @ 11:00 AM
Hollywood’s hardest partying bisexual Michelle Rodriguez was a guest of honor at the Los Angeles Gay & Lesbian Center’s 2014 “An Evening with Women” on Saturday, but she appeared to be flying solo without her latest girlfriend, Cara Delevingne. Is there trouble in paradise already with these two young lovers? According to the Daily Mail, there might be and it’s all because Cara can’t stop flirting with everyone she meets, guy or girl, and that makes Michelle angrier than she already seems every moment of her life. The rumor makes sense, because not only have we not seen Michelle and Cara together in weeks, but this event comes right on the heels of Michelle being carried out of a London club by herself. I remember a happier time when Michelle and Cara would be carried out of bars together so they could stare lovingly into each other’s glazed over eyes and look like they were about to throw up in each other’s mouths.
Photo Credits: Getty
By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 3:24 PM
As much as I hooted and applauded when angry Ellen Page pulled off her dyke glasses to announce she was a lesbian, and as excited as I am by Sara Gilbert’s latest ocean-overlooking lesbian wedding, nothing makes me feel more progressive and politically gay correct than supporting chicks making out on the beach in Cancun. If it’s Michelle Rodriguez and her topless little British supermodel piece of conquest cheese, all the better. Michelle didn’t need to make a big speech or cry or have everybody validate her forbidden love. She just went and got some. And that’s the way it should be. Love should know no boundaries nor be defined by petty writs of law. If you can finger it, you can love it. Take that, GLAAD. My inclusionary motto just fucked your motto and made it its bitch.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash