The 2014 Critics’ Choice Television Awards Occurred

By Lex June 20, 2014 @ 12:05 PM

Laura Prepon Cleavy At The 2014 Critic's Choice Awards
Texting girls get to pick out the winners in the People’s Choice Awards. Old people with oblong goiters vote on the Academy Awards. Foreigners with sexual assault charges pending in Moldova get to select the Golden Globes. The TV Critics Choice Awards is the one chance for miserably failed artists to have their voices heard. What TV shows do fat guys who take great care in selecting their eyeglass frames like to watch when they’re not catfishing teenagers online? Apparently, it’s not network television. Big Four network shows continue their eighty millionth decade of decline in the face of F/X and premium cable TV where writers are able to create shows they want and then cherry top them off with tits and swearing. Even in 2014, Procter & Gamble and Indiana  still hate tits, so ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox are left spitting out assembly line melodramas for people who fondly recall when there were no remotes. The average age of a CBS viewer is rigor mortis. I’m looking forward to the fact that in my golden years I’ll have one touch access to unlimited digital porn. Holographs would just be a bonus.

Photo Credit: Getty

Kim Kardashian was the big winner

By brendon May 26, 2009 @ 2:11 PM

202kk09

Michelle Trachtenberg and Emmy Rossum have a lot to learn about being famous. Kim Kardashian easily won the bikini contest at the Nivea Beach House in Malibu yesterday. In fact she was seemingly the only person who thought there was one. I have no idea WTF the “Nivea Beach House” is, but it looks like everyone had a good time. Which is surprising because one would imagine that putting this guy within 10 feet of Kims huge tits and unlimited hand lotion would have had disaster written all over it.

(jump to hq here)

MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG FTW

By brendon November 03, 2008 @ 7:29 AM

God knows how these are the only five pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg as Olivia Newton John in "Grease" and Emmy Rossum as Sarah Palin because I know if I had stumbled onto that, I would have been photographing it like it was the baby Jesus.

(picture source = pacific coast)



MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG CAN DO THIS

By brendon June 12, 2007 @ 12:02 PM

I don't know why Halloween pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg are just showing up online now, but then again, I don't know lots of stuff.  God didn't give me this ass and these eyes just to hide them behind of bunch of books.   (alternate headline: GOD YOU CHICKS ARE SO GAY, PART 2)