By Lex July 01, 2015 @ 12:16 PM
At this point, Miley Cyrus just won’t stop showing off her tits. This is a real dilemma. Who here has experience here telling a 22-year old chick to put her top back on? It’s unnatural. Like asking the bartender to under-pour your drinks. Or begging Hillary Clinton for longer stump speeches. If Cyrus really cared she’d dare her better looking friends to match her bravado. Quit hiding behind your intriguing garden themes, Cyrus. This world needs healing.
Photo Credit: V Magazine
By Lex June 30, 2015 @ 9:26 AM
Miley Cyrus has committed herself to tearing down the subjugating two gender system that mistreats and misunderstands teenagers that want to be girls somedays and boys the other. Miley has been touring the nation taking photographs of up to three of these teens in various states of cross-dressing discussing what it means to be ‘gender expansive’. If you weren’t certain this was a huge problem before following Miley’s #InstaPride project, you won’t be certain after either. For her part, Miley has committed to show off her tits and her underarm hair in uncomfortable photographs until school P.E. teachers are no longer defined by boys coach or girls coach and girls are getting their vaginas injured badly during dodgeball. Sit tight, America. This will all be over shortly.
Photo Credit: Paper Magazine
By Lex June 24, 2015 @ 10:44 AM
This is the woman now horking your blank canvas Victoria’s Secret supermodels. There seems little point in going on as a man. You could blame Maxim magazine in their death spiral for naming Miley Cyrus the hottest woman in the known universe. Or just blame the progressive thinking of gender fluidity and experimentation of our millennial semi-employed. The fact remains, you’re fucked. You’ve reached the end of the rainbow and found Miley Cyrus going down on your pot of gold. Enjoy your Porsche and epic home theater. Things like this never get better.
Photo Credit: Instagram/Paper Magazine
By Matt June 22, 2015 @ 6:19 AM
Miley Cyrus’ friend whom she enlists to leak information which nobody cares about have apparently confirmed she and Victoria’s Secret model Stella Maxwell are a couple. This is according to the New York Daily News who earlier this year reported she was fucking Bigfoot. Sometimes you get lucky:
“They hold hands and hug and are very comfortable together. They’re definitely together.”
It’s interesting how sources always confirm the premise of your bullshit story without offering anything specific which you couldn’t have told yourself while wearing a wig. Regardless, Cyrus has definitely heard that licking twat is the hottest summer craze next to culottes and is daring people to call her a lesbian so she can say she doesn’t like to place labels on her sexuality or even various species for that matter. Who’s to say this is a rodent? It’s a child of God. This habit is also known as being uneducated and lacking a clear grasp of the language.
This will pass and she’ll soon get to brag about her ‘experimental phase’ over crocodile tears at the GLAAD Awards for some guy in a dress who finally had the courage to give The AIDS to his parents. In relationships there’s typically an inverse relationship between who has more money and who’s more attractive. Fuck it. Gain some weight and grow another beard.
Photo Credit: Instagram
By Lex June 17, 2015 @ 10:00 AM
Your daughter’s growing out her armpit hair and dating the Geek Squad tranny who came to fix her cable modem, but you know better, don’t you, mom?. Social progress memes come and go. A bleached blond MILF’s nipples have been attracting attention since the dawn of time. Who’s that fool to your right trying to sell the goatee as a plan? Miley got The AIDS award, but you won the evening. New titties at forty-eight is the dagger.
Photo Credit: Getty
By Lex June 17, 2015 @ 9:14 AM
Miley Cyrus advanced the ball on LGBTQ acceptance by bringing somebody she called ‘agender’ as her date to The AIDS prom in New York. Agender is the new term for what used to be called gender neutral or gender ambiguous or just kid who got his ass kicked regularly on the playground. According to Miley Cyrus who is working hard to rid this world of labels:
Tyler [Ford[ is a queer, biracial, agender person, whose pronouns are they/them/theirs.
Being agender sounds really hectic. It also just seems like the skinny Pinoy kid from the high school A/V club in a dress. I’m not one to judge, but you could try a little harder to make us guess your gender if you’re claiming no gender. Bruce Jenner was waxing before and after his vehicular manslaughter. At what point do the bulk of gay men step forward and announce that just because they fall in love with other dudes doesn’t mean they don’t love football and traditional pronouns? Gender fluidity was more relatable when we just called it self-indulgence.
Photo credit: FameFlynet