Perhaps worrying that was still too employable, Miley Cyrus shaved down the sides of her already short haircut, making her all but unrecognizable from just three months ago. Which wasn’t so great to begin with. If she’s trying to re-set the bar, and make it as low as possible so when she goes back to normal she’ll look like some perfect object of beauty by comparison, like Megan Fox and Kate Upton somehow had a daughter, than she’s way smarter than I gave her credit for.

There’s zero chance of that, by the way.

(image source = splash)

Because every single thought that passes through her head needs to be tweeted, Miley Cyrus went on her twitter yesterday and said simply, “In need of girlfriends.” And then she wrote, “To be my fuck slave.”

No, actually, that last part isn’t true. It would have been awesome though.

(image source of miley voting last week = pacific coast)

If you can’t read all that, the quote, the one she attributes to Buddha because she’s a moron (it’s actually from Zig Ziglar), says, “Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.” And under that, she wrote, “I got so much money I should start a bank.”

Some might argue that those are conflicting thoughts. “Well they aint,” Miley would counter. “Cuz I aint never even had that first thought, it wuz jus sompin I seen on a magnet an I put it up to luk smart, so there.” Touche, Miley!

(source = twitter)