By brendon November 20, 2012 @ 3:01 PM
Perhaps worrying that was still too employable, Miley Cyrus shaved down the sides of her already short haircut, making her all but unrecognizable from just three months ago. Which wasn’t so great to begin with. If she’s trying to re-set the bar, and make it as low as possible so when she goes back to normal she’ll look like some perfect object of beauty by comparison, like Megan Fox and Kate Upton somehow had a daughter, than she’s way smarter than I gave her credit for.
There’s zero chance of that, by the way.
(image source = splash)
By brendon November 12, 2012 @ 10:23 PM
Because every single thought that passes through her head needs to be tweeted, Miley Cyrus went on her twitter yesterday and said simply, “In need of girlfriends.” And then she wrote, “To be my fuck slave.”
No, actually, that last part isn’t true. It would have been awesome though.
(image source of miley voting last week = pacific coast)
By brendon November 05, 2012 @ 2:31 PM
Miley Cyrus is joined by porn star Jessie Andrews (though the term “star” is being thrown around very loosely in this case) in the video for her song ‘Decisions’, and that would have been the last anyone would have ever heard of it except Sex.com now says they’ll pay Miley 1 million dollars if she’ll shoot the video again, except this time with way less clothes, and way more girl on girl kissing.
Sex.com just sent Miley’s reps a letter, offering to compensate the singer “extremely well” for her participation in a softcore girl-on-girl make out sesh with porn star Jessie Andrews … and remake the entire music video into a sexy softcore PORNO.
It’s just a naked make out, but if Miley wants to make sex part of the deal, that’s cool too — Martin writes, “How far Miley chooses she wants to go is entirely up to her.”
TIL it’s not illegal to approach girls who are built like 15-year olds and offer them money to take their clothes off and kiss while you film it. Which means I threw my hard drive in the oven for nothing when that cop parked across the street last week.
(image source = fame/flynet)
By brendon October 15, 2012 @ 4:03 PM
Though the X Factor didn’t turn out to be the ratings extravaganza many anticipated, it’s still great for the judges who get tons of exposure and lots of money (Britney will make $15,000,000 this season) for doing almost nothing. It’s pretty much what Miley Cyrus does now except someone would pay her for it.
That’s why it seems very hard to believe she was offered a job as a judge and turned it down. She told the Sun…
“I just don’t know if I want to be some dream crusher.”
“Would you really want to sit there as someone is belting their heart out – even if it is like hearing nails on a chalkboard – and then say to them, ‘You suck’? It seems harsh.”
Wait what? I say worse things than that to my friends, for free, and I actually like them. You’re god dammed right I’d tell some doofus who can’t sing that he sucks. For $15,000,000 you can put the guy in a cell next to me and I’ll whisper horrible things until he swallows his tongue for all I care.
By brendon September 07, 2012 @ 1:54 PM
Miley Cyrus and Pink both showed off their daring sense of style and originality at the VMA’s last night, and the result was me having to give an image credit to a zoo.
At least Pink always does stuff like this. Miley just looks desperate, as if we’re gonna forget that she’s only famous because of her Disney show, which she only got because her dad had a very popular song in 1992. Road construction barricades in a Jason Statham movie have a more promising Hollywood career than Miley.
(image source = getty, san diego zoo)
By brendon August 31, 2012 @ 4:59 PM
If you can’t read all that, the quote, the one she attributes to Buddha because she’s a moron (it’s actually from Zig Ziglar), says, “Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.” And under that, she wrote, “I got so much money I should start a bank.”
Some might argue that those are conflicting thoughts. “Well they aint,” Miley would counter. “Cuz I aint never even had that first thought, it wuz jus sompin I seen on a magnet an I put it up to luk smart, so there.” Touche, Miley!
(source = twitter)