By Travis May 23, 2014 @ 9:00 AM
Everybody’s favorite and totally not overexposed actress Jennifer Lawrence told Seth Meyers a funny story the other night about how she threw up at an Oscars after party, and what made it even funnier and quirkier for the girl next door is that she did it right in front of Miley Cyrus. Everybody ate this shit up with a shovel because Jennifer can’t do anything wrong, but at least one person thinks that this story is a little too cute to be true – Miley Cyrus. In a since deleted tweet, Miley responded to someone that Lawrence’s story “never happened,” which was actually a little bit disappointing. At least tell us what did happen. Did it simply “never happen”, as in Miley didn’t even attend that party? Or did it “never happen” as in Jennifer actually threw up on Miley, because she thought that some vomit on her dress would be a good excuse to strip down to a crotchless body suit and walk around with an Oscar statue in her twat? Details, you boring hick.
Photo Credit: Miley Cyrus’s Instagram
By Travis May 22, 2014 @ 2:00 PM
Everybody seems to love Jennifer Lawrence because she’s young and attractive and has no problem acting like an idiot, all in the name of being quirky and zany. She’s also an Oscar winner, so that bought her a few years of invincibility when it comes to behavior that would be considered really fucking annoying if pulled off by a lesser celebrity. So everyone’s just eating up her witty anecdote that she revealed to Seth Meyers on Late Night last night, about the time that she was at an Oscars after party and she threw up in front of other famous people. Even Miley Cyrus told her to get her shit together, which is really the ultimate sign in knowing that you’re acting like a complete asshole.
By Travis May 19, 2014 @ 11:00 AM
The strange friendship between Wayne Coyne and Miley Cyrus continued last night at the Billboard Music Awards, where the duo teamed up to let Miley screech her autotuned way through the Beatles classic “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” Miley picked that song, you see, because she really likes experimenting with drugs like marijuana and LSD, since she’s so unique and original, and no musician has ever used the pot to really make the music come out of them the way that Miley does. You can even tell by the way that Miley painfully dragged out every verse of the song and stuck her stupid tongue out while none of her fans sang along, because her fans are idiots who clearly wouldn’t know good music if it was twerking right in front of them, that she knows that she’s an old soul who belongs in a different era. Now we just need to convince her that the time machine that will take her back to the 70s is in the bottom of a volcano.
By Lex May 12, 2014 @ 12:53 PM
At some point in her lip-synched London concert, Miley was acting out fellatio on a giant inflatable penis, sucking a midgets latex titties, and spanking a she-beast visually foretelling of Khloe Kardashian’s future offspring.With the sound off, it’s really not a half bad freak show. Parents groups are up in arms because Miley is reasonably likely to leave their girls pregnant and riddled with pox. Parents groups always talk a good game, but you really have to get them into a lather before they’ll start burning 2 Live Crew albums in the town square. This whole show gets better with fire.
Photo Credit: AKM-GSI
By Lex May 09, 2014 @ 10:34 AM
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News, AKM-GSI, Splash
By Lex May 07, 2014 @ 12:47 PM
It was touch and go there for a while with Miley Cyrus and her modestly to severely bogus medical diagnosis. You may recall Miley was on an extended hospital stay due to an intense reaction to antibiotics, you know, like happens from time to time in the Congo. But you can’t keep a talent like Miley down for long. Not when the children of England and their big ears have yet to see Miley pantomime fellatio and shove a microphone into her vagina on stage. No impressionable tweens should be denied that right. Not if we want Christian girls to start making babies again.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News