Miley Cyrus is Missing Something

By Travis November 20, 2013 @ 12:00 PM

At some point after last night’s Jaguar F-TYPE Coupe Launch Party in Playa Vista, California, newly-single model Miranda Kerr ran into Miley Cyrus, and the two let fashion photographer Mert Alas take a quick close-up picture of them. Normally, I’d wonder something truly important and intellectual like whether or not this is the company that Miranda is going to keep now that she and Orlando Bloom are divorcing, but where the fuck are Miley’s eyebrows? If this leads to millions of stupid girls across the world taking up the alopecia look as “fashion,” we’re really going to have to start considering and taking the idea of mass sterilization more seriously.

Photo Credit: Miranda Kerr/Instagram

This Is So Much Better, Miley Cyrus

By Travis November 15, 2013 @ 12:00 PM

Earlier this week, Miley Cyrus made half of the country spit out its coffee in disbelief when she told the BBC that she considers herself to be “one of the biggest feminists in the world.” Maybe that’s why she dressed so conservatively for the Bambi Awards in Berlin last night, as she showed up to perform “Wrecking Ball” while dressed sort of like an actual elegant female human being. In fact, her dress was almost perfect, and all it needed to be complete was someone pulling the long sleeves behind her back and setting them in place with 10-pound padlocks. Then maybe someone could have pushed her into the River Spree, but that might have ruined her hair.

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Miley Cyrus Tits Are Spray Painted for New Music Video

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 4:27 PM

Miley Cyrus Is Covered In Glitter For Future's Music Video 'Real And True'
Miley Cyrus had about five minutes there when people weren’t talking about her being the bane of decent society so she took off her clothes for a rap video where her dulcet tones are featured. You can go look up the rapper Future’s music video Real & True yourself to see flashes of Miley Cyrus body painted in silver glitter. Now that I know my Internet search records are being monitored by the NSA, I’m not doing ‘Miley Cyrus tits in videos’ or ‘how to murder annoying neighbor children’ any longer on Google.

Miley Cyrus Also Smoked A Joint At The MTV Europe Music Awards (VIDEO)

By Travis November 11, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

After her performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, Miley Cyrus claimed that she made history because she wore a very revealing outfit while grinding on Robin Thicke’s crotch. So how did she follow that up at the MTV Europe Music Awards last night, aside from wearing a dress that honored Biggie and Tupac? She lit up a joint while accepting her award for Most Unoriginal “Shocking” Behavior, because the show took place in Amsterdam and what better way to tell people how edgy you are than by smoking pot in a city where people 10 feet away from you in any direction are guaranteed to have better drugs than you? Hopefully someone then offered her a needle and she’s currently passed out in a dumpster outside a whorehouse.

Photo Credit: Getty

Miley Cyrus ‘Honored’ Biggie And Tupac

By Travis November 11, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Despite the fact that she was barely five years old by the time that Christopher Wallace was gunned down in Los Angeles in 1997, Miley Cyrus wore a dress featuring both Notorious BIG and Tupac Shakur to the MTV Europe Music Awards in Amsterdam last night. The legendary rappers were featured on the front of her revealing dress with the word “Violence,” while the words “Please stop” were printed on her ass. So if people only caught the former Disney star as she was walking into the Ziggo Dome, they probably would have thought, “Well, at least we’re all on the same page now.”

Photo Credits: Lia Toby/

Miley Cyrus Is Sorry That She Twerked Liam Hemsworth Away

By Travis November 05, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Liam Hemsworth already starred in three movies this year and has the new Hunger Games film coming out in two weeks, all while he’s also filming the next Hunger Games film in two parts. On top of that, he’s been dating Mexican actress Eiza Gonzalez, so if you asked Liam how he’s doing right now and he said something like, “Life is GOOD,” he would not be exaggerating. But his diaper fire of an ex-girlfriend, Miley Cyrus, is apparently still hung up on him, because she reportedly wrote him a love letter to apologize for pushing him away.

According to the Daily Mail, “As time has gone on and the anger subsided, Miley has really started to feel the pain of the split… Miley admitted to Liam she has pushed him away and said sorry for acting so mad.” Of course, it’s Miley Cyrus we’re talking about, so she probably had two transsexual prostitutes deliver the letter with a video of her dry humping a dead horse. Either way, the sexiest woman in the world is sad, y’all.

Photo Credit: Marcus Black/